nights like this i'm so thankful for my mommy
I feel like I've completely lost my mind. I've been sitting here sobbing for about an hour. Sometimes the reality that I should be a mommy hits me out of no where. And I feel like I'm losing everything all over again. My baby should be getting ready to turn three months old on June second. And here I am empty handed and alone with nothing to show for all the trying to conceive over the past few months. And with everything that has happened over the past few days I feel like a failure as a woman. Maybe it was an evap line on that test and maybe it was a bfp and then a chemical pregnancy. But I am a woman. My whole reason for being here is to be a mom and carry children so why the fuck can't I do it?! I've never in my life felt such pain. And I feel so stupid because there are ladies on here who have lost their children farther along than I did but it hurts! I called my mom and I feel so bad because its midnight but I needed her. It doesn't matter how old I am or how old I get I'm always gonna need her. Especially in this situation. I guess I just needed to really vent. So please say a prayer for me before you go to sleep ladies. I sure do need it.
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