Off sex hubby frusrrated

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

my baby is 7m, me and hubs have only has sex about 6 times since he was born, to start with I was worried sonwthing was wrong down there after forceps and episiotomy but now think its just not being relaxed makes it hard to put it' inside. I am still bfeeding, baby is a terrible sleeper and that first stretch of sleep is the best and all I want to do after a rubbish nights sleep and tiring day with baby is sleep. Husband always gets annoyed with me if I say I am too tired and if I go alobg with itlt he gets annoyed cos he says it feels lije ge is rapung me or something. I tried to explain tgat I am tired and need a bit more tgan a few kisses then stickibg it in lol. It just leds to arguments nj ut all I want to do is relax and take things slwly, any advice ladies? X

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

Sorry for typos I have fat fingers and a small phone and it woulnt let me back to edit, hopeu can make sense of it!
Should have said I have very low self esteem at the moment and zero sex drive at night and hubby out all day.

dadof2n1togo · June 2012

I'm not much help here sorry as going through the same with my wife other than the pain factor for her. Just wishing you all the best with getting back the mojo. Our bubs are same age and about same amount of action lol.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

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Janet_2011 · June 2012

Do what I do, do your house work early so you don't have to worry about it during the day, sleep when ever your baby takes naps , going out for walks also gives you more energy than staying at home. You need to understand him, sex 6 times in 7 months should suck.. I would had died by now if I was him. Sex is part of a relationship, not the main part.. but a very important one. Just try to relax and not see it as something that is hard for you to do, have a lot of fore play and enjoy the experience. Good luck.

Mrs4c · June 2012

The more you do have sex, the less it will hurt. It took me about 3 months to not have sex be uncomfortable after having my daughter. I had a second degree tear and I'm sure some of the scar tissue cased sex to hurt. Also it takes a while for our hormones to go back to normal. This can cause dryness down there and a lack of a sex drive.

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

@dadof2n1togo thank u, you too. I know its hard for men too its just hard to explain how crap it feels too. It puts so much pressure on me too when he gets annoyed

@armahnismommy I usually nap when bubs does but hardly get anything done and little bits of sleep still sucks lol, dont like not satisfying him but im a bad actress!janet_2011©

Janet_2011 · June 2012

@three_cats_n_a_baby i am so sorry it has being so hard for you

, there's always other ways to please him without having actual sex.

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

Dam phone. @janet_2011 you are right I need to get out more just need that boost
I think maybe when I stop breastfeedung things will get easier, I loved sex before and now I feel like 99% of the time I eould happily go without, hormones??

@mrs4c thanks it has drfo got easier already just feels odd for the first few ins then it feels ok but usually over by then too

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

@janet_2011 if we do othrr things he finishes even quicker and gets more annoyed, if he does hand thingson me he just looks bored. Sorry tmi.
Just want it to be fun and normal! X

Janet_2011 · June 2012

@three_cats_n_a_baby he should atleast appreciate the fact that you are trying to please him .. man are such idiots sometimes . (Tmi) there was a while that i was staying with my mom due to the fact that i stayed without a home for 7 months, part of that we were sleeping in the livingroom.. so sex wasnt much of an option unless we sneaked into the bathroom, so we used to do hand things on eachother.. it wasnt bad at all..
your man is just very hard to please

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

@blessedtxmom thank you, its weird I walked everywhere when he was born now I find it hard to get mitivated to get out the house, its weird I go to a few groups and have loads of fun with baby but I think I find it hard not really having any friends to do stuff with too. I will definately make the effort tommorow though

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

Thanks @janet_2011 I just feel like the nanny that should look after baby, tidy and turn tricks, he spends most his spare time out on his bike, hes at movies right now but when it suits him we have sex, now its not just me that can see that is a bit unfair! X

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

#blessedtxmom glad im not the pnly one, my friends are all nmiles away and dont have kids, I have fMily here but they are so opinionated I cant really talk to them x

Janet_2011 · June 2012

@three_cats_n_a_baby OMG what???? i understand guys need their own time too, but wtf?? he doesnt help you at all??? my husband works his butt off in constuction and still helps around the house, he does laundry, takes care of the kids and cooks on his day off. and if he wants to go out.. he invites all of us

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

@janet_2011 he does to alot round the house to be fair on him and he works 9-5 which is why he feels if he wants to gp do things at the weekend its ok but meanwhileim left holding the baby pretty much 24/7 which I love but I am exhausted and then not surprised I dont want sex when I finally get a rest if that makes sense x

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

And it would be nice if he said where shall we go today or lets go here, I feel I have to ask him to stay home then justify it.

Janet_2011 · June 2012

@three_cats_n_a_baby no wonder you want nothing to do related to sex.. i would be tired if i had to take care of my kids 24/7 .. my husband helps with them after he gets home , he wakes up at 6am and comes back at 5pm.

if you were in florida i would love to take care of your baby for a few hours so you can get your so well deserved rest.

three_cats_n_a_baby · June 2012

Thanks @janet_2011 lol tge sunshine in florida would sort me out for sure! dreary old england does nothing for me x

dadof2n1togo · June 2012

Starting to think I'm too nice and do to much to help around the house. I vacuumed the entire house yesterday and didn't even get a thanks. Today is washing, shopping and gardening all with the 3 kids home because of a school closure day. Then this afternoon will be clean out animals and do dishes etc before wife gets home then cook tea as we have one of her friends coming around (oh yay).

Tomorrow I will be up at 430am to vet ready for work. Last 4 days and then I'm done lol.

Janet_2011 · June 2012

@three_cats_n_a_baby girl move over here lol
@dadof2n1togo oh wow, every day that passes i notice that your wife is an ungreatful person, you deserve better.

dadof2n1togo · June 2012

@Janet_2011 yeah starting to feel the same way.

Janet_2011 · June 2012

@dadof2n1togo I dont blame you, she sure is dumb, i feel like slapping her awake.. [-(

crystaldawn0830 · June 2012

Wake him up in the middle of the night after one of ur LOs feedings. Then that way u get good sleep in the beginning and if he says no...well then u tried! Lol. Plus u can explain that's how tired u are when he ask!