blah :( *update*

kayleigh27

I don't know how to put this all on here without going on and on. My husband and I have been having problems for awhile now...think for over a yr. We fight. We make up. We fight. We make up. Over and over again. We got pregnant with our second child during all this (wasn't planned) and it has seem to have gotten worse. Our Sex life has been practically non existent for the past 5 months. We don't really cuddle and kiss anymore. We are almost like room mates that just happen to have two kids together. We both don't want a divorce and are going to couples counseling together but I still don't feel that spark. Those butterflies he used to give me when I would see him are gone. We just argue. We don't really sleep in the same bed. Like last night we got into it and he went to the living room and I was perfectly ok with it and I don't even beg for him to come back to bed anymore. Today's fathers day and we have been in seperate rooms since last night...I'm just depressed with our situation. I want to be married to him but I don't want to be beating a dead horse either and then wind up divorcing anyway down the road. I love him but almost feel like I'm just sticking together for the kids because of the fear of what the divorce will bring. My parents divorced when I was 18 and that was hard on me... and I don't want our kids to go through it either. Is it time to throw in the towel ans just end it???

Sorry I'm bringing this on here..I just don't have any friends anymore because they have all moved away.

Fate

My personal opinion would be for you both to start paying attention to each other more. Commit time to start growing those roots again. Go on dates, watch movies at home and really talk. It really sounds like you two have just hit your rocky road. We get comfortable in relationships and stop putting effort in. It is hard work keeping a marriage together.

kayleigh27

@fate thank u... we used to go on date nights but now with two kids and no one there to watch them during the time we hav its gotten ridiculous to do anything. And talking is a chore with a screaming toddler and a crying newborn. We were both going to college with all this happening and going to work full time so I thought it was stress from that so when my classes ended two weeks ago I planned on not going back for awhile until we straighten our marriage out.

Fate

I think that's a really good idea. Just remember though, putting college off for too long could have a serious impact on you ever going back. If you have to, hire a babysitter for 1 night and see how a date goes. Don't talk about the kids, talk about you two. Be happy and hold hands. Sometimes its the little things things that can bring the spark back.

MyLove2

Just sit and talk with hubby about what is bothering you and what may be bothering him. Communication means more then you think, both of you need to get together and figure out what makes you guys angry and try to solve it.

Like @fate said its the little things that can bring the spark back. Small things to some may mean the world to others...

starrxoxo9

Oh girl I swear I was about to post this same thing earlier lol. My bf and I are teetering on the edge of a break up. It feels like half the time we're hanging on just for the baby's sake. I don't really have any advice but you can always inbox me if you need to talk. I know what a shitty feeling it is.

kayleigh27

**Update** Yep its August and we are STILL having problems. I just don't know what to do anymore. I try to talk and he just winds up getting angry and yelling at me. We don't have Sex anymore and when we do attempt it he just...doesn't do it for me. Now its bothering me because I would like to be pleased without having to resort to using toys. I tell him what I want and what feels good when we do have Sex but he does it for like 5 seconds and then does something else. I do what he wants and ask him what feels good and I do it. He never asks me..but of course he says that he does. According to him I'm a bitch who doesn't do anything. And according to me hes been an insensitive ass for awhile now. I asked him one night if he was depressed and he said yes, but he refuses to get help. Of course when I was depressed he never did anything but yell at me and put me down until I was damn near suicidal and had to be hospitalized. Which I put myself in the hospital because according to him I " wasn't trying hard enough" I was 'faking it" and I could "easily snap out of it'..I cant go to his family for help because they just make excuses for his behavior. I'm just stuck in this place of not getting better. Hes not romantic anymore. He doesn't talk to me like he used to. He doesn't treat me like he used to and hes downright mean to the kids. Ive been trying my hardest to make it work but its just not.

MamaLove

I think you know what you need to do but something is holding you back. Being in a partnership is just that, you are only as strong as your weakest team mate. If he's not willing to do better, what else is left?