Me just being paranoid?

kayleigh27

So my husband has been going out and running every evening or going to to the gym. I'm stuck at home with both kids and would like to work out too but he makes it into some big deal and I wind up not going. Two nights ago he is about to go running with a church member. I suggest we take the kids in strollers and I get to run too. He basically shoots it down and says "I cant run with a stroller" and I could go after he gets back which will be 9 p.m. um...hell no I'm not going to get murdered or God forbid-raped because he made me run so late at night. So he takes off and he comes back afterwards and says "so and so wife said she wants to go running with us and the kids" meaning her kids who are all 3-4 yrs old. I'm really angry then and asks him how the hell someone with 3 school age kids who will not fit into a stroller but you cant run with our 1 yr old and a 2 month old??? Why does he listen to her and not me? This womans name he can remember and actually has corrected me a few times on how to pronounce it but he cant even remember our babysisters name or our kids Drs names.when I brought it up to him he got super mad and said I was just being crazy.(even though hes always saying how "secretive about things and will tell me stories on how he thinks I will cheat) Am I just being paranoid or does this sound bad to anyone else? He wants to go over there next week for the 4th of July BBQ and I'm not sure if that's a good idea.

kayleigh27

Oh and the other night he told me how much of having Sex with me "felt like a job" to him. He constantly puts me down..even my cooking. Last night I tried to go running and he pouted the whole time and got mad because I hadn't cooked dinner

caroline8_p

If he goes, you go.

I'd day its a sign of cheating (sorry), getting in shape.

kayleigh27

That's what ive heard too @caroline8_p

I really think its me not being a Mormon. Hes a mormon and has expressed many times how he wants me to go the church. Even though when we got married he wasn't an active member and knew and was ok with me being a Catholic. I have expressed to him numerous times how I just don't feel comfortable converting. So I think its just maybe "enjoyment" to him or something seeing this mormon family???

Also he has been watching more porn than usual in order to "get himself off" because Sex with me just sucks to him. I'm really upset with him because last Sunday he got his temple reccomend which is basically so he can go inside their temples but he has told me in the past how "worthy someone must be to get that card" they are interviewed by the church to get that card and I felt he almost doesn't deserve it because of what he has done ans how he has been acting.

starrxoxo9

That sounds like a big red flag to me. I'd be very suspicious.

Babyluv

Agreed^^ You are worthy and DESERVE to be treated better! I am sorry he is being like that...not cool at all! I would be a little worried also especially if he is saying it's work to have sex with you! Ugh what a JERK thing to say! I would've been so mad!

DavidnAadynsMama

Im usually not the first to jump to "they're cheating", but there are multiple red flags here IMO hun. He wont allow you to go, pouts about it, started putting you down, sex is a job, the porn (only if he hasnt always done this) and being okay with this woman going and not you. I say have someone you know follow him when he goes "jogging". There is definitely something up with him.

kayleigh27

@davidnaadynsmama hes always watched porn every once in awhile in past but it seems to have gotten more of a habit now with him

@blessedtxmom thanks I'll check it out

kayleigh27

Update*** he apologized to me today when he got off of work saying how sorry he was for treating me like that. But I'm keeping my eye on him...probation if you wanna call it that. He did go jogging with me tonight and no problems from him but I'm still watching

second_time_mommy7

I'm kind of confused, is he running with a man and his wife asked to bring their kids and join them running? I don't really see any red flags or reason to have suspension. I would be a bit worried about him saying having sex with you is a chore and needing to watch porn. But that doesn't mean he is cheating maybe he just needs some more excitement in your sex life.

dadof2n1togo

Sorry but any guy that tells his woman having sex with them feels like a job, needs a baseball bat taking to their balls.

kayleigh27

I think hes running with the man @second_time_mommy7 and with some other guy...the resason why I'm upset is that he listened to the wife's suggestion than to mine even though I said the exact same thing

Mijita

Aren't mormons suppose to treat their wives with respect, follow strict fidelity within marriage and refrain from addictive substances? Hmm, sounds like double standards to me. I wouldn't allow him to use his religion as a vice, especially if he's being a hypocrite about it.

On another note, I'm glad he let you participate. I hope it continues. Good luck.

second_time_mommy7

Her husband probably listened to his wife, not yours. If he was being deceitful about it he probably wouldn't have told you. Here is how I see it playing out.. you want to go jogging with them, your hubby thinks its only going to be the guys so he says no. He meets up with the friend, wife wants to come, he is either A) not a dick or has no balls so he tells her fine you can come. At this point what is your hubby suppose to do? Throw a fit? Say I didn't let my wife come so your wife can't? He was probably not the one that allowed her to go. Jmo I don't think your hubby did anything wrong. If he knew she was coming and still told you no maybe..

Babyluv

@dadof2n1togo AMEN! ^:)^

second_time_mommy7

As far as him wanting to watch porn and feeling like sex is a chore, try to mix things up a bit in the bedroom. Give him the excitement he gets from porn without having to watch it. My mom always told me be the other woman and your man will never cheat. So I do, lady on the streets, freak in the sheets;) I think you are confusing your feelings being hurt with him possibly cheating. I am a very paranoid person when it comes to cheating and I see no problem with this.

jules

The first part could be many things but the porn thing and eat be said to you about sex not cool at all. Honestly if I was in your shoes I would continue being safe then sorry. Keep your mind and eyes open I would hate for you to get hurt. Good luck.

DavidnAadynsMama

I dont know how all women feel about it but I have no problem with my husband watching porn and dont consider it cheating at all, but for there to be a sudden increase in him watching it, coupled with saying sex is a chore seems a bit off to me. Id just keep a close eye on things

MommyLovesSparkle

id be mad

Roxy

I say keep one eye open but dnt make ur self go crazy about it

kayleigh27

@mijita that's what I always thought and what he himself has told me. I even threaten to go to his bishop to tell him I don't think my husband gets to have his reccomend but I know if he gets kicked out I know he will never forgive me.

@second_time_mommy7 I see where you're coming from. Belive me I'm a big Sex freak. I wear lingerie, jump him for quickies from time to time. Do postions that he wants to do even if they hurt me sometimes, give him oral etc

@Davidnaaydensmama I don't care if he watches porn. Hell we have watched it together before and have DVDs we have bought but like I said now its an almost daily thing with him. Even if we have had Sex the night/day before he watches it to get off. I don't think he has for the past couple of day's though

kayleigh27

@Roxy oh I'm not. I know I shouldn't take every sign as him cheating but my dad cheated on my mom for a number of years and I'm just seeing things hes doing like my dad did

Roxy

Wow dnt sound to good but I hope he's. Not cheating

CANT_WAIT93

I think you should go for you can see how he acts around her...once u see his body language n hers u would know if u are over reacting. N also pay attention hows he acts with u if doesn't want to talk or get to close or things like that...just watch him...u would get a feeling. A women always knows.

second_time_mommy7

Hmm... Have you told him how you feel about him watching a lot of porn and saying sex is like a chore without approaching it in a I'm going to tell on you kinda way? I do think that porn leads to chatting and chatting can lead to other things... Have you ever tried to go to church with him just to see what its all about? I know you said you are Catholic but maybe just humor him a bit. I mean this in the nicest way but maybe now that he is an active member he is slightly embarrassed that you are not. I don't think my husband and I would still be married if we didn't share the same faith. Maybe you should talk to him and ask him to try out your church/ religion and suggest you do the same? You should try to sit down and have a heart to heart with him and find the root problem in all of this. I'm sure at this point he is just lashing out about something he is dealing with that he doesn't know how talk to you about. Good luck hun!

kayleigh27

@second_time_nommy7 yeah for the past 2 yrs ive gone to church with him. Not every weekend mind you but quite a bit. Hes never gone to a Catholic service with me though

Máthair

I'd say go to the BBQ and make a big deal about wanting to start working out to the other mothers there. Ask them what they do to keep in shape and if they know of a double stroller that is also a good jogging stroller because hubby doesn't like to jog with the kids and it's "to hard" for him to watch them before YOU make dinner and you don't feel safe going out ALONE afterwards.

Don't slander or insult him directly and don't air your dirty laundry but use your words carefully to let the other mothers suspect what he is doing without making you look like a nagging wife.

Then go out and get the double stroller. Become an irresistible super hot mama. Tell him that you're not in the mood because it's like a job.

pregoagainYAY

Red flags everywhere mama

kayleigh27

@conreeaght I should. Thank you