Let's be real (for moms/dads of more than one)

captivated

Do any of you feel as if you favor one child more than another at times? I am not saying loving one more than another. Just curious.

When you were growing up, did you feel like your parent(s) favored one of you or your siblings more? Why?

sehra4177

I try not to bc I was the middle of five kids growing up. It sucked...I wasn't anyones favorite and I know it hurts so much to feel that way. I love my kids all the same but I think at times I could say I feel I'm favoring one over the other if one is being bad etc. But its just in that moment. They all have their own qualities that I love them for. I thought it would be a prob bc my daughter was our only child until she was six, I didn't think I could spread my love to another child but sure enough I did. It's def difficult but when you love unconditionally its hard to have a favorite. That's why I still question my parents "love" of me. Bc I know I can do it why couldn't they?!
Anyway, I feel what your saying about if at times you could feel you favor one over the other bc my daughter at 8 now is starting the attitude and it does get hard at times but between me and my fiancee we try to keep it even. Even tho I can tell he does pick our two year old over her alot.

BigBelly

I sometimes favor my son. When i was prego they said so many things could be wrong with him. When i finally gave birth, he was as healthy as can be with nothing wrong at all! So he's like my miracle boy! And my daughter is 5 going on 12 so she can be a pain in the ass lol. But i love them both just the same!

MrsStanley_x2

I have twins, and I notice sometimes I favor my son because he only crys when hurt, he is my little snuggle bunny, and loves everyone. My daughter is in the "i'm going to banshee scream constantly for every reason imaginable" phase and it wears a person down. Plus she'd rather have daddy than me, so it evens out I guess. Lol I love them both, though.

captivated

@sehra4177, that's totally understandable!

@BigBelly, I feel the same way. When I was pregnant with my son, I didn't feel like I could ever love him and actually felt like he was a hassle and going to come between my daughter and me. Was currently going through the very difficult custody battle as well, and was afraid my daughter would feel 'replaced'.

However, now I feel like I favor him alot of the time. Because he's a 'baby'. My daughter has such a teenage-like attitude! However, I do love them the same and couldn't be without either!

I grew up as an only child, so just curious what it was like for others who were not.

captivated

@MrsStanley_x2, awww! That's hilarious.

captivated

@mom2ing, you have two very lucky kiddos to have such a wonderful mommy like you!

jnlelrod

Yes! I love them all the same but my oldest is just really hard to deal with sometimes, he is extremely hyper and drives me nuts. My middle son just listens better and isn't as hyper so I guess that is why we seem to get along better but I know they all have different personalities. It's hard to juggle them all. I really don't favor one or the other though. I guess my daughter being only 7 months is a little easier right now since she can't back talk or anything yet lol!

MrsStanley_x2

I'm an only child, too! I was afraid I wouldn't be able to divide my attention well, but I do most days. Lol and my son just stares at my daughter and shrugs when she screams, so her fits are actually mildly entertaining.

mommyof3girls

I feel as tho i love all 3 of my girls the same. They all have my whole heart and soul. However, i was going thru old baby clothes the other day and i found i was more sad getting rid of our second daughters clothes more than the other 2's. So then i was questioning myself of why because i feel as tho i love them all the same. Its weird. Im not sure why that was harder for me??? I try to b as equal as possible because i never want them to feel as tho i favor one over the other. They all have my heart.

JoshnEviesmum

having a ten year old and a baby sometimes makes it seem as though i favour the baby. At times i feel as though im being unfair to Josh by showing the baby so much attention. Also, to be 100% honest, Josh gets on my nerves a LOT lately, with his know it all attitude, so i feel less stressed being with bubs. I always thought Josh would be my only child, and we have a very close bond, but he does push my buttons @ times. That said, i couldnt choose between them, but yes, its very different xx

[Deleted User]

Kaylee is my only child as of right now.

Growing up, I felt like my mom favored my older sister more and to this very day I still feel the same. Whenever my sis is around it seems as if my mom just forgets about me. It still kinda hurts my feelings but she always says I love y'all all the same. If I ever have another child, I'd try my best to not have them feel this way bc there have been times when I was younger that I felt pretty shitty. Don't get me wrong my mom is a good woman but I can't change my feelings though!

Wilsomom

I love all my children, however as seems to be a common theme, some get on my nerves more than others. I truly think their personality can clash with your own. It doesn't mean you love them less, it just makes it easier to get along with the ones without the personality conflict. I try really hard not to show favoritism though. (but yes, I'll admit it's hard sometimes)

lilbit01_209

I favor my son more than my daughter. But my husband favors our daughter nore than our son. I think mine is because I never bonded with her until she was about 3 (Shes 6 now) and my son I 'overbonded' while I was still pregnant. She and I also have identical personlities so we fight like crazy and he is really to young for that now. Now favoring is different than love. I love them both more than I can even imagine and both with everything I have so I cant say I love either more or less than the other.

DavidnAadynsMama

I feel like I favor aadyn more because hes a baby so I put his needs first. If aadyn is screaming for a bottle and david is crying he is hungry, its always "wait a minute, I have to make bubby a bottle". I love them the same but its hard to not favor a helpless baby over a semi independant 4yr old

captivated

Exactly @Davidnaadynsmama. Glad I'm not alone!

captivated

I do have days that I take my son to daycare and my daughter and I spend the day together alone. I try to do this every week

Wilsomom

That's an awesome idea @captivated
I used to do "special nights" with my kids on a rotating basis. They would get to come in my room for a half hour or so after everyone went to bed & play a game or just talk. I've gotten out of it, but this has inspired me to start again.

DavidnAadynsMama

@wilsomom thats also a great idea

sands3

I don't think I do. I try to give them both plenty of attention..it just may be at different times, if that makes sense.

angel26

I'm afraid I favor my 6mo daughter more than my two boys. I love them all to pieces. But I have always wanted a daughter and so when I finally got my daughter I was so happy. I try not to favor but my boys are really getting on my nurves.

Wilsomom

@angel26 I had to smile at that cause I know what you mean. The only thing is when they all grow up girls get on your nerves way more than boys. Hormones I guess lol.

angel26

Lol. Ya I've heard that.

angel26

@wilsomom

skysma

U know I think it has to do a lot with how much u get along with the child my first and my third r indentical kids my middle child how ever is a totally diff child I have a hard time relating to him he is just like his father so they get along more soooo I completely understand I love all 3 to death