Wow 90lbs. That's great. My husband also watches on occation but I try not to let it get to me. Those girls are fake and actresses. And I am no where near as flexible as they are. But he is still with me and I have told him about being worried about him cheating and he always says he would never do that. So maybe just try talking to him. Sorry I can't be more help.
Porn is discusting and i hate it too. They dont understand that its a low blow to us (the ones who dont like porn). Men just dont understand that crap is not real life.
I my self don't have any problems with porn, for the most part. My hubby watches it often I mean like every day. Not because he don't like my body, or love me. He just enjoys it. He masturbates sometimes to it, but that's just to help him sleep if I'm up with the kids, or at work or something. I know he loves me and my body and would rather be with me but sometimes he might need "his time" I know I do! Don't hold it against him. Its just men!
I think porn is the smallest thing to be concerned about. That's just me though. I am like @beccahedrick. BD and I love porn. We watch it together, separate, he will masturbate to it as well on occasion. There's absolutely no competition with porn! These women are fantasy characters. I wouldn't say fake because amateur porn is not fake. Just real women like you and me. Maybe you guys could try to spice things up a bit? Try to reenact every position in a porn! Or ask him what new things he'd like to try!
I use to love porn til my bd took it to far and cheated on me. So i know how you feel. I would say talk to him before anything bad happens! Spice up your marriage before it's too late!
Whhaattt? Roflmao. That's as bad as the old myth of saying marijuana is the gateway drug. Over half the male population watches porn. I don't believe it leads to cheating in any way. I guarantee almost all of you ladies hubbies watch porn.
I guess its just a matter of opinion @mom2ing. I love you!
Actually, many scientific studies have been done that show porn is actually good for you AND beneficial to relationships (as long as it is not a porn addiction). Many psychologists and sex therapists agree with this.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/homo-consumericus/201001/pornography-beneficial-or-detrimental "In their survey of 688 young Danish adults (men = 316; women = 372), Hald and Malamuth found that respondents construed the viewing of hardcore pornography as beneficial to their sex lives, their attitudes towards sex, their perceptions and attitudes towards members of the opposite sex, toward life in general, and over all. The obtained beneficial effects were statistically significant for all but one measure across both sexes. Now here is the kicker: A positive correlation was obtained between the amount of hardcore pornography that was viewed and the impact of the benefits reaped. This positive correlation was found for both sexes. In other words, the more that one watched porn, the stronger the benefits (for both sexes)! There you have it."
--
"In many instances, those who have sought to link pornography to countless ills have been ideologically motivated, as the aggregate scientific evidence hardly supports such conclusions."
--
"I don't know where you got the idea that viewing porn will lead to infidelity. Some people think just the opposite, that it fosters fidelity. I don't suppose I need to draw pictures for you, but most men have some kind of interest in porn. It is a fact that the male brain is particularly responsive to and stimulated by visual imagery. Males frequently use visual images as an aid to masturbation." -Psychiatrist Hara Eskoff
-- "Dr Janssen, an Associate Scientist at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University, reports that most men want sex in excess of their female partner's desires to reciprocate and that men use pornography as a proxy for sex.
Therefore, we can draw the conclusion that, at least for some men, pornography will help satisfy their "excess" desire for sex and control the "fire in the gonads" that can result when auto-sexual release (masturbation) is not performed. So for these men at least, the answer to your question is no, porn does not "cause them to cheat", it actually may help them not to cheat."
-- Amidst the loud angry cries against pornography, a few serious scientific studies have been performed on the subject. It seems that men and women who view pornography, have improved sex lives, better sexual knowledge, and an overall better quality of life. Surprisingly, one study found that the more that pornography is viewed, the greater the improvements. In an extensive study performed in Australia, the majority of married respondents stated that they believed that pornography has had a positive effect on their marriage. While clearly not always linked to pornography, studies have found that men who had fewer orgasms were twice as likely to die of any cause as those having two or more orgasms a week.
* Sexual irresponsibility has declined. Standard measures include rates of abortion and sexually transmitted infections. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), since 1990, the nation's abortion rate has fallen 41 percent. The syphilis rate has plummeted 74 percent. And the gonorrhea rate has plunged 57 percent.
* Teen sex has declined. The CDC says that since 1991, the proportion of teens who have had intercourse has decreased 7 percent. Teen condom use has increased 16 percent. And the teen birth rate has fallen 33 percent.
* Divorce has declined. Since 1990, the divorce rate has decreased 23 percent.
* Rape has declined. According to the Justice Department's National Crime Victimization Survey, since 1995, the sexual assault rate has fallen 44 percent.
Why would social ills decline as porn becomes more widely available? No one knows. But the one thing porn really causes is masturbation. Internet porn keeps men at home one-handing it. As a result, they're not out in the world acting irresponsibly-or criminally.
I only post this @mom2ing because I don't want someone reading this and suddenly jumping up and saying, "OH MY GOD! He watches porn! It's scientifically proven that it's a gateway to cheating". I want them to see both sides and make an opinion of their own. I wasn't laughing at you, but laughing at the fact that people have porn so demonized. If your opinion comes from a religious standpoint, totally understandable. I am not religious nor do I believe in God, so that is of course where our opinion on this differs. All I'm saying is that I am not talking out of my ass on this one. Where porn becomes detrimental and out of control (such as leading to promiscuity/affairs) is when there is an addiction to it involved. So in that case, I would agree.
Come on....Dr. Phil?? Definitely not a good source, but I respect your opinion. I suppose you are correct in that it comes down to morals. It is kind of like arguing how premarital sex is okay to a significantly religious person. I like porn and believe it has many positive factors, u find it detrimental. We can just disagree its no big deal :I just stand firm in that it does not lead to cheating and there is no research that backs that one up. Blaming cheating on porn is like blaming McDonald's for you being obese. People need to address the real issues for infidelity inside of a relationship. Placing blame on an inanimate object is detrimental and only side steps the true issues.
Addicts is an entirely different scenario. Do you think Tylenol is bad for you? No, but it is in overdose and toxic amounts. You misinterpreted the quote, as it was not referring to addiction, but a healthy interest in porn. I would say that idiotic reality tv shows are more detrimental than the occasional pornhub visit. Texting all day on the phone is detrimental to your personal relationships, but the occasional text is not.
ya I think it just depends on the dynamic of your relationship. With my first marriage I hated it! I would be so angry if I found it on my husbands computer. But I was also very insecure around him. With my second marriage my husband and I watch porn together on occasion, and we enjoy it. BUT the difference is my husband now makes me feel great in my body, and I know that he really is attracted to me, and that helps me feel secure!
@kristaf22, that blows Porn addiction is no different than any other mental addiction. Very serious. I hate addiction period!
But as for porn causing infidelity or addiction, I just can't agree. The more sex we have with our partners is beneficial to us as a whole. It's no different than saying that the more often you have sex with your partner, the higher your chances are of developing an addiction to sex. Or the more food you eat, the higher chance you have of developing an eating disorder (over eating). Or guns kill people. Or spoons make you fat.
I never said porn can't ruin a marriage. ::sigh:: @mom2ing. You are speaking of porn addiction once again, which I have already agreed with you on twice. I am speaking of a normal person watching porn. Also, if one party of the marriage has a SERIOUS issue with porn, of course it can ruin the marriage. Just like alcohol, cigarettes, cars and money can.
My issue with Dr. Phil is that he is not a legitimate source. He is not a psychologist. He holds no license. Him speaking about the "ills" of porn is comical as he is an adulterer himself. I despise him because he intentionally misleads the public. I watch his show occasionally as a form of entertainment though. That's the reason I said what I did. No offense to you, but to him. Lol. I don't respect people that lie about their credentials. It really irks me.
I agree @mom2ing, however, they are likely trying to do what is natural to all of us and masturbate when they need to. Kind of embarrassing to do it in front of a spouse who vehemently thinks it is a sin. I'd hide it too. Thank god I don't have to! I love me some porn!
Well i dont have any problem with porn as long as he is watching it with me, lmao i know for a fact that he loves me and my body just fine, it just entertain us sometimes to watch them do thngs that we cant even get close to even trying because we find more than half of those things too far haha . i guess it all depends on the person. we dont watch every day or every week , is like once a month or two months thing. and i think porn doesnt have much to do with cheating, i know guys that have cheated and have never watched porn, and i know other people that watch porn everyday and they would never cheat.
Yes, but he is not a psychologist nor licensed to practice as one. He has been charged for it in 2008. He committed sexual harassment against two women. He was investigated by the board of psychology for fraudulently practicing psychology without a license.
'Dr. Phil never refers to himself as a psychologist. He certainly knows that to do so would bring him into conflict with California law. Unless you are working for the government or working in academia, you can't represent yourself as being a psychologist unless you hold a valid license. It's the same as with an attorney or a physician. You can't act like you are a physician unless you have a medical license. If you didn't pass the bar or you lost your license, you can't say that you are an attorney.'
He cannot practice psychology, and what he does is not actually the practice of psychology.
I was trying to find a way to word why I dislike him and I found this. Hilarious. And true. He gives terrible advice, his therapeutic skill and rapport with "patients" is non existent. Don't mean to keep going on, but you asked why I disliked him.
Lessons From The Dr. Phil School Of Counseling*
Lesson # 1 - Fail utterly to provide compassion. Every problem in the world can be solved by a quick kick in the ass, so clearly anyone not as perfect as the good doctor is simply lazy. Save compassion for your failed efforts to hit on Jane Fanda (if you don’t get the reference, you need to watch more Kathy Griffin).
Lesson # 2 - Be as threatening as possible. Make several ultimatums in a row, pose questions without pausing to hear the answers, and indicate that you have eyes everywhere. This works particularly well with the paranoid schizophrenics.
Lesson # 3- Be uneducated about the issue except in the most general sense. If you have ever smoked a cigarette, then you are probably qualified to treat a long term heroin addict. Making it up as you go along based only on your personal impression of the greater world around you is the key to helping other people improve their own lives. The lazy sots.
Lesson # 4 - Indicate that you have no intention of believing anything your “guest” says before you have given her or him the chance to talk. This always ensures that people will provide thoughtful, honest answers to your questions.
Lesson # 5 - Make sure to keep the focus on yourself. If you shut your giant tripe filled gob for one moment, you run the risk that your “guest” might have an uninitiated moment of self-perception or greater awareness, and then you could lose control of the interview. Just keep referring to yourself, mention how great you are, and remind everyone that this is your moment in the sun. No one else in that room can thrive on other people’s tragedies like you can!
Let it never be said that Dr. Phil is not a master at something; we’ve already stipulated his prowess in the “smug” field. But only someone who has really, totally failed to dedicate the time and effort necessary to become a competent therapist could manage to illustrate all of these lessons during his first interaction with a new guest:
So, what have you done today? (Pause for dramatic effect.) Be very, very careful. I asked you a question, you better tell me the truth. You don’t know what I know. You. Don’t. Know. What. I. Know. Look, at some point, you’re just gonna have to understand that you’re just gonna’ have to be honest with me, cuz’ the way to tell when you’re lying is if your lips are moving, right? You’ll lie about anything anywhere. I mean that’s part of this addiction. This is a time - if you want a chance to try to live, try and get your life back, you need to tell the truth about everything I ask you. And believe me, I am a human lie detector, and you jack with me and you’ll be gone before you know it. I don’t put up with any of that bull- and you just need to know that from me right. Up. Front. Okay? So you need to think about that when I ask you the question, what have you done today?
Guest: Uh, I’m the camera man.
Splendid. Stupendous. The perfect illustration of how to ensure that someone leaves an hour with you feeling worse about themselves (and the world in general!) than they did before meeting you. The award for doing the absolute, literal least one could possibly do definitely goes to Dr. Phil.
@5lilangels what did he say when you confronted him about finding it again? There needs to be respect.....clearly it bothers you and I think he should respect your wishes to not look at it. I personally do not care for it either.....I am hoping things get better for you honey
Comments
@mama_Kat thanks
@angel26 thanks
@mommyof3girls thanks for understanding
I guess its just a matter of opinion @mom2ing. I love you!
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/homo-consumericus/201001/pornography-beneficial-or-detrimental
"In their survey of 688 young Danish adults (men = 316; women = 372), Hald and Malamuth found that respondents construed the viewing of hardcore pornography as beneficial to their sex lives, their attitudes towards sex, their perceptions and attitudes towards members of the opposite sex, toward life in general, and over all. The obtained beneficial effects were statistically significant for all but one measure across both sexes. Now here is the kicker: A positive correlation was obtained between the amount of hardcore pornography that was viewed and the impact of the benefits reaped. This positive correlation was found for both sexes. In other words, the more that one watched porn, the stronger the benefits (for both sexes)! There you have it."
--
"In many instances, those who have sought to link pornography to countless ills have been ideologically motivated, as the aggregate scientific evidence hardly supports such conclusions."
--
"I don't know where you got the idea that viewing porn will lead to infidelity. Some people think just the opposite, that it fosters fidelity. I don't suppose I need to draw pictures for you, but most men have some kind of interest in porn. It is a fact that the male brain is particularly responsive to and stimulated by visual imagery. Males frequently use visual images as an aid to masturbation." -Psychiatrist Hara Eskoff
--
"Dr Janssen, an Associate Scientist at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University, reports that most men want sex in excess of their female partner's desires to reciprocate and that men use pornography as a proxy for sex.
Therefore, we can draw the conclusion that, at least for some men, pornography will help satisfy their "excess" desire for sex and control the "fire in the gonads" that can result when auto-sexual release (masturbation) is not performed. So for these men at least, the answer to your question is no, porn does not "cause them to cheat", it actually may help them not to cheat."
--
Amidst the loud angry cries against pornography, a few serious scientific studies have been performed on the subject. It seems that men and women who view pornography, have improved sex lives, better sexual knowledge, and an overall better quality of life. Surprisingly, one study found that the more that pornography is viewed, the greater the improvements. In an extensive study performed in Australia, the majority of married respondents stated that they believed that pornography has had a positive effect on their marriage. While clearly not always linked to pornography, studies have found that men who had fewer orgasms were twice as likely to die of any cause as those having two or more orgasms a week.
Interesting Fact: Pornography (and the anti-pornography movement) as it is understood today is a concept of the Victorian era (19th century) which was extremely moralistic. Sexual imagery was not taboo before that time.
http://listverse.com/2008/09/23/top-10-things-that-are-surprisingly-good-for-you/
Guess what. Since the arrival of Internet porn:
* Sexual irresponsibility has declined. Standard measures include rates of abortion and sexually transmitted infections. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), since 1990, the nation's abortion rate has fallen 41 percent. The syphilis rate has plummeted 74 percent. And the gonorrhea rate has plunged 57 percent.
* Teen sex has declined. The CDC says that since 1991, the proportion of teens who have had intercourse has decreased 7 percent. Teen condom use has increased 16 percent. And the teen birth rate has fallen 33 percent.
* Divorce has declined. Since 1990, the divorce rate has decreased 23 percent.
* Rape has declined. According to the Justice Department's National Crime Victimization Survey, since 1995, the sexual assault rate has fallen 44 percent.
Why would social ills decline as porn becomes more widely available? No one knows. But the one thing porn really causes is masturbation. Internet porn keeps men at home one-handing it. As a result, they're not out in the world acting irresponsibly-or criminally.
I only post this @mom2ing because I don't want someone reading this and suddenly jumping up and saying, "OH MY GOD! He watches porn! It's scientifically proven that it's a gateway to cheating". I want them to see both sides and make an opinion of their own. I wasn't laughing at you, but laughing at the fact that people have porn so demonized. If your opinion comes from a religious standpoint, totally understandable. I am not religious nor do I believe in God, so that is of course where our opinion on this differs. All I'm saying is that I am not talking out of my ass on this one. Where porn becomes detrimental and out of control (such as leading to promiscuity/affairs) is when there is an addiction to it involved. So in that case, I would agree.
But as for porn causing infidelity or addiction, I just can't agree. The more sex we have with our partners is beneficial to us as a whole. It's no different than saying that the more often you have sex with your partner, the higher your chances are of developing an addiction to sex. Or the more food you eat, the higher chance you have of developing an eating disorder (over eating). Or guns kill people. Or spoons make you fat.
I agree @mom2ing, however, they are likely trying to do what is natural to all of us and masturbate when they need to. Kind of embarrassing to do it in front of a spouse who vehemently thinks it is a sin. I'd hide it too. Thank god I don't have to! I love me some porn!
'Dr. Phil never refers to himself as a psychologist. He certainly knows that to do so would bring him into conflict with California law. Unless you are working for the government or working in academia, you can't represent yourself as being a psychologist unless you hold a valid license. It's the same as with an attorney or a physician. You can't act like you are a physician unless you have a medical license. If you didn't pass the bar or you lost your license, you can't say that you are an attorney.'
He cannot practice psychology, and what he does is not actually the practice of psychology.
Lessons From The Dr. Phil School Of Counseling*
Lesson # 1 - Fail utterly to provide compassion. Every problem in the world can be solved by a quick kick in the ass, so clearly anyone not as perfect as the good doctor is simply lazy. Save compassion for your failed efforts to hit on Jane Fanda (if you don’t get the reference, you need to watch more Kathy Griffin).
Lesson # 2 - Be as threatening as possible. Make several ultimatums in a row, pose questions without pausing to hear the answers, and indicate that you have eyes everywhere. This works particularly well with the paranoid schizophrenics.
Lesson # 3- Be uneducated about the issue except in the most general sense. If you have ever smoked a cigarette, then you are probably qualified to treat a long term heroin addict. Making it up as you go along based only on your personal impression of the greater world around you is the key to helping other people improve their own lives. The lazy sots.
Lesson # 4 - Indicate that you have no intention of believing anything your “guest” says before you have given her or him the chance to talk. This always ensures that people will provide thoughtful, honest answers to your questions.
Lesson # 5 - Make sure to keep the focus on yourself. If you shut your giant tripe filled gob for one moment, you run the risk that your “guest” might have an uninitiated moment of self-perception or greater awareness, and then you could lose control of the interview. Just keep referring to yourself, mention how great you are, and remind everyone that this is your moment in the sun. No one else in that room can thrive on other people’s tragedies like you can!
Let it never be said that Dr. Phil is not a master at something; we’ve already stipulated his prowess in the “smug” field. But only someone who has really, totally failed to dedicate the time and effort necessary to become a competent therapist could manage to illustrate all of these lessons during his first interaction with a new guest:
So, what have you done today? (Pause for dramatic effect.) Be very, very careful. I asked you a question, you better tell me the truth. You don’t know what I know. You. Don’t. Know. What. I. Know. Look, at some point, you’re just gonna have to understand that you’re just gonna’ have to be honest with me, cuz’ the way to tell when you’re lying is if your lips are moving, right? You’ll lie about anything anywhere. I mean that’s part of this addiction. This is a time - if you want a chance to try to live, try and get your life back, you need to tell the truth about everything I ask you. And believe me, I am a human lie detector, and you jack with me and you’ll be gone before you know it. I don’t put up with any of that bull- and you just need to know that from me right. Up. Front. Okay? So you need to think about that when I ask you the question, what have you done today?
Guest: Uh, I’m the camera man.
Splendid. Stupendous. The perfect illustration of how to ensure that someone leaves an hour with you feeling worse about themselves (and the world in general!) than they did before meeting you. The award for doing the absolute, literal least one could possibly do definitely goes to Dr. Phil.