new promise to self!

misstiff

I will never date a man that has kids from a previous relationship! just too much baggage. yes, this train can go two ways, but hopefully I can find a man that has no kids and willing to accept me and my daughter!

JoshnEviesmum

totally understand, if i wasnt married, I wouldnt either, its an absolute nightmare!

misstiff

@joshneviesmmum yes! it is! I can't stand his ex wife, and because I hate her so much, it's hard for me to accept his kids. :-( oh well. time to move on!!

jules

I know how that feels. are you not together with him anymore? And it's so different for girls like we have to deal with the ex cause it's the women that cause drama. When a guy finds a girl who has kids it's no drama because they never communicate... you know what I mean?

JoshnEviesmum

i feel the same way. His ex is a demon and his daughter is a sneaky, spiteful, lying 15 year old. God knows Ive tried to like her, but when she stole my sons DS and got him up by the throat, it kicked off! If I would have known, I wouldve never got involved. Have you left your guy then?

misstiff

@jules @joshneviesmum I'm trying to work things out with him but all of his off time, he gets his kids. I understand I should have known from the get go that he was a "packaged deal" but now that I have my daughter here, I want his time 24/7. I really want to try with him but I feel that he needs to have a meeting point with me. it's not fair to me that on every day off of mine, his kids are here, including my daughter. so I just feel like I never have a break :-( sorry I know that was super long

[Deleted User]

Is he at work when his kids are there? If not, let him know that whenever his kids are there, he needs to be there also spending time with them. Also, let him know that you need a break.

jules

I know exactly how you feel that is how my bf used to be then he lost his job and things still were the same because he would be all about our daughter and he was very helpful and involved and every time his daughter came over he wouldn't do anything with our daughter and would not only not help me with her but ignore me all together. I had many conversations with him over it and he kept pointing the finger at me. Well now we have his daughter less and even when she is here he is more himself I think he realized that he was letting his daughter control way too much and rather then making everything about her he needed to make her a part of the family. He saw that once she started being rude with him and stopped listening to him that he was spoiling her by doing whatever and whenever. I told him not only was it not far for me and my daughter but his daughter as well because spoiling a child is never good and once he saw that he changed. Maybe rather then talking they showing it to him or one day calmly give him examples of what you have noticed. And I'm sorry I know this is hard