depression interfearing with my life..

devins_mommy

Clearly I'm depressed because of my recent fights with my boyfriend. And I'm sick of being the person who is sitting around for her boyfriend to talk to her, my boyfriend use to be the one chasing me. And I'm sorry I'm blowing up pregly with my scrappy post, but I have no one to talk to who won't judge me.

I feel so lost/scared/upset/depressed/numb to the fact that I just might of lost the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I'm trying so hard to give him his space, and take care of my son but its so hard, I'm all alone.. and I cant handle it. When my boyfriend takes our son I sleep, and when my son is napping, I'm napping. And I just feel dead. Like, I don't want to be around my family. And I know by me acting this was is affecting my son because he hasn't been his happy crazy baby self since my bf left. And that's not fair to him.

I want to go to councling, but I can't afford it. I know my and my bf need to tall to someone, but can't afford it again.

I just want to run away and have my bf actually miss me.. but I have responsiblys..

1stWoodsBaby

Im so sorry you feel this way! I hope your BF changes and decides his family is what he wants. It so hard and painful being depressed, sad, numb, and feeling dead. I know exactly how you feel and can sympathize with you. I'm in a very i happy marriage and have felt this way for many months now. I hope you find the strength you.need that can help you feel better again.

devins_mommy

Thank you. @1stWoodsBaby ever day that goes by without talk to him just makes me feel like we differently are done. And the sad part is, the fight was with my parents not me. And he doesbt want anyone involved in our problems, but he told his girl co worker last week we were fighting. I'm going insane w.o being able to talk to him.

devins_mommy

The more I think about it, the more.I think.. what if he's hanging out with other girls :-(

devins_mommy

So we were unable to talk tonight, because his friend from work got into a physical fight and went to work today saying that my bf jumped him for no reason, which I guess was untrue. So he didny want to talk to be when he was in a bad mood, so he didny take it out on me.

Mrz_Jackson

Im kinda goin thru the same thing wit my hubby at first i didn't no wat to do an he acted like o well well now its been almost 4 months an im doing much better an now he's begging me bak jus give it sum time Hun if its meant to be he will come bak he will open his eyes to wat he did jus like my hubby has now im jus not forgiving him that easy im making him sit an be miserable an realize wat he lost

devins_mommy

Honestly, we already broke up for 2 months before. And I seriously can't do it again. I feel like crap and its only been not even a week. And people say, it'll get easier, but it doesn't. I can't belive how desperate I sound, I probably sound like one of those clingy girlfriends who can't go anywhere with out there boyfriend and who's completely dependent on him. I swear I can do things without him, but just knowing that he's not coming home to me at the end of the night and my son knowing his daddy iant there when he goes to bed, or wakes up.. that's what is tearing me apart. Like my son may only be 14 months, but he knows something isnt right.

devins_mommy

@Mrz_Jackson

Mrz_Jackson

I no the feeling I've been wit mine 5 years we have a 4 year old 2 year old an 8 month old I've never worked or anythang I've always had him here for me an now i wonder wat im Gona do im at home wit my babies an he's sitting in his apartment texn me rite now it does hurt but u have to be strong for ur baby cuz he will pick up on eveythang an jus no if he loves u he will come bak jus try not to stress for u an ur baby

devins_mommy

He just got fired from his job cuz of his friend :-( when it rains it pours.