family and money do not mix....

LilliansMom

I dont usually post much but I really need to get this out...sorry in advance I know its going to be a long one!

Let me start from the beginning. So when I was 19 my Mom and Dad needed a new car and were not able to get a car loan so they asked me to do it for them. And being only 19 and trusting my parents who said by them paying off a car under my name would make my credit really good so when I was older and able to purchase my own car I would have no problem and get a great rate...yeah whatever...Well long story short they stopped making payments and got the car repossessed and never took care of anything and now my pay has been garnished 10% for the last 6 years or so. And I do not have the money to fix this situation so I have had no other choice but let it happen. I continued over the last several years to say to my parents that we need to take care of this some how whether they take out a loan or ask to borrow from someone but I need this to be taken care of and off my credit report so I can eventually buy my own car or house someday. Well never happened of course and my mother was giving me every week the 10% that was being taken out of my check so at least besides screwing up my credit it wasnt effecting me money wise. Well last year when I found out I was pregnant my husband and I decided that we wanted to try and buy a house and when we applied they said that my husbands credit was amazing and mine was good but they said specifically that since I had the repo on my report and it hasnt been taken care of we were not approved which sucks! And within the last year my mom has missed a few payments and now owns me $900 from the garnishment and I need that money now more then ever since I have my own family to provide for.
Well now we are at yesterday...my husband and I have been fighting over this on and off for the last year (almost every fight ends with him telling me that I can not bring my daughter to see her grandparents until they take care of this) well I just couldnt take it anymore so I called my mom and told her what we were fighting about and that it is effecting my marriage and she needs to take care of it. She started flipping out on me saying that my husband was not welcomed at her house ever again for using her granddaughter against her and that dont worry she will take out a loan and have it taken care of by the end of the month and hung up on me.

I have not spoken to her since yesterday but the more I think about it the more pissed off I am getting and the more I shouldnt call because I am not going to have anything nice to say...all I keep thinking is must be nice to be able to take out a loan because I cant because of you! why did it take to us using our daughter against her to get this taken care of?! Why did you not seem to care everytime I called crying because I couldnt pay my student loan (which is $200 a month and that is a little less than what my mom pays me a month for the garnishment and now my student loan is so far behind its going to collections screwing me once again...) or buy formula or my electric was gonig to be turned off because I was pulling money from other places to pay things that just couldnt wait anymore and if she would of just kept up with her payments to me then that wouldnt of happened. Why is she turning me into the bad guy because I just want what is owed to me?! Why do you have money to go visit my brother in prison 3 hours away every other weekend but you have never come to my apartment to visit which is only 1 hour away because you dont have money...it just doesnt make any sense to me! ahhhh! Im sooo frustrated, upset, and angry!! Your supposed to trust your parents, they should have your best interest in mind at all times but not mine they just care about themselves...oh did I mention she is going on a cruise in october! are you f'ing kidding me?! Over the last year I have realized that my mother only cares about one person and that is herself. She is munipulative, selfish, and just a bitch!

I am so sorry its sooooo long but I just needed to get out what was going on in my head before I blow up!

And the biggest thing I keep thinking is now that I have my Lillian I would never ever think about doing this to her! EVER!

EricaK22

You should tell her if she doesn't pay you by a certain time you'll take her to small claims count. I know you might not want to do that, but it might make her pay you the money. I'd be irate if my mom did something like that to me.

LilliansMom

I know it has gotten to that point but I am going to give them until the end of the month to pay me. But I am not sure what I can do since it was all technically in my name and I signed. I was stupid, young and taken advantage of by my parents who are supposed to be the ones who protect you. But yeah for some reason its never really made me that mad but its just all hitting me how much she screwed up my life before I even got a chance to be on my own. @EricaK22

mommyof3girls

sorry ur going thru this. Yes, this is NOT something a parent should ever put their child thru. U have every right to feel tge way u do. Marriage alone can b hard but when u add on things like this it makes it even harder. U will get thru this. It just is a REALLY crappy situation. Just helps u b a better mother to ur own child.

LilliansMom

@mommyof3girls Its funny that when I was younger and asked what I wanted to be when I grow up I would respond by saying that I didnt want to be like my parents I knew at young age that I wanted to be better then them and I know I am it just sucks I let them do so much damage to my life and I know it will be all over with at some point but its been going on for so long already that it just seems like it will never end. Thank you for the support! I just really needed to get everything out and I knew pregly was just the place to do so!

sehra4177

Sorry you're going thru this but I can relate. I realized my family is the same.only interested in what they can get out of things. Now that I have kids I want the best for them and can't understand how my mom can be the way she is and other family for that matter. I hope it gets better for you I really do. It's rough when family is like this they are supposed to protect you and support you.

[Deleted User]

All of the payments ur mom has made to you is proof that she owes u the money. Would she really ho into the court room and lie about everything.
Not to mention if u apply for a house and have a judgement for the repo showing was not ur fault it MIGHT get ur a second look if ur borderline.
I bought my house 18 months out of bandruptcy I just had to wait until the 2 yr mark to close, but it took that long to build.

It is hard but stick to ur guns.

[Deleted User]

And also tell her straight up if ur hubby is not welcome then neither are u. You are a package deal!!! Jmo bc my mil tried that shit and I told my husband to choose on the spot. She didn't win and said to say their relationship is crap and that was at least 10 yrs ago

LilliansMom

@sehra4177 I know its crazy that family are the people that can hurt you the most and All I want to do is do everything I can to make my daughters life better I just cant imagine what was going through her head when she did this to me.
@char My husband was actually saying the same thing about her making the payments to me being proof. That does give me hope about being able to buy a house at some point! thank you! I am just going to get through and catch up on everything I fell behind on because of this and start saving again! I know I can do it!

LilliansMom

@char oh i did! I also said I would never really keep my daughter from her but she would have to come here and she has never come to my apartment so I am very interested to see if she ever does come since she seemed to care so much about seeing her granddaughter.

Roxy

If any one owned me money and dnt want to pay up I would take them to court no questions ask just saying

starrxoxo9

Take her ass on judge Judy! Not only will judge Judy give her a verbal beat down, but when you go on shows like that, THEY pay the judgement. Not to totally let her off the hook, but at least you'd get your money. I actually know 2 people who did it lol. I'm sorry she's so selfish My mom was a single mom and constantly fell behind with our bills so she put all kinds of utilities and phone bills in my name when I was little. She had no choice but to pay them off when I moved out because I needed heat too!!

[Deleted User]

@lilliansmom I hope she does come to see her. I know how u feel about that my parents live three hrs away and didn't come for lo birth. They only seen him because I drove to them when he was 2 wks only cause of ppd.
Also if u tagged the car in her name that is proof to. In ohio we can do that idk about where u are. Good luck