has this conversation ever come up??

edited August 2012 in Relationships
So late last night I was having those night chats with the hubby and the sexual part came up (Pun not intended) and he asked me if I would ever be down for a 3 sum. And I was like HELL NO!! If I get pist when another women looks at him. So then he said what about you with a girl and I watch. And again I said NO! But it made me think. If im not open minded would he get bored?
Have any of you this covo with your hubby?
Should I consider it?
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Comments

  • I have. Sometimes I think I'd like to try one and some times I think it'd be weird.
  • @1stWoodsBaby exactly!!
    Thats what I think!
  • It's different for everyone. If you are not comfortable, don't do it! He won't stray because of it. Me and bd have an open relationship, so we are totally different.
  • Yea. But its not like I want to date or be with other men. Or women in that case.
    Idk I hope he doesn't @captivated
  • For men, I think it is strictly the fantasy and "taboo" of it.
  • Had this convo with my Bf her partner n my hubby he said what if she asked u unsaid no but then thro a spanner in the spokes n said what if my hubby would be in n then it would have been a 4 nhe was shell shocked ps wouldn't as I said ot was a drunken convo . I don't belive this should happen in a relation ship as what happeneds if then it becomes a problem just food for thought
  • I don't think its a good idea. & @captivated do you or ur boyfriend get jealous or anything like how does being in an open realtionship work out if you love the person? I'm just curios .
  • @mommylovessparkle, no, no jealousy. We have had threesomes many times and It's a blast. Sex is a natural human instinct. Sex doesn't equate to love. When him and I have sex, its out of love for each other, but when others are involved it is different. As for seeing other people, it is pretty reserved for deployments. We both understand that going 8-10 months with no sex is pretty unplausible. That's just us though. And we are madly in love :)
  • i think if your considering it,go to a strip club with him first & see how you feel about him looking at other women & possibly being turned on by someone other then you.if jealousy plays a huge factor then dont do it.its a make or break situation.youll either have fun with it or feel very insecure & lose trust in your relationship.& if u did go through with set limits like no kissing & it doesn't give him the ok to be with other women.personally i couldn't do it.my husband never gave me any reason not to trust him but im so damaged from past relationships i wouldn't even want to open doors for another woman to enter.what if he likes it? what if he continues to see her? those are questions that cross my mind.& i have had a 3sum as a teenager long story short,i lost my bf & bff.
  • Oh man. Never ever include a friend or someone you see frequently in a threesome. Recipe for disaster. We have only done it a couple times and we make a game out of it. Lol! We go out and compete on who has better game to bring someone home. well, not literally home because I won't bring someone into my house where my children are. Needless to say, he never wins. He has absolutely no game. :)
  • Well thats great! :) a lot of women cant do that but your one strong lady! You should be very happy your not this over insane jealous chick (that I'm trying very hard not to become lol ) :-)
    @captivated
  • Girl, I used to be just like that. When I was dating my ex girlfriend, I was so psychotically jealous that I would call her every hour freaking out, where is she, and start screaming if I heard anyone in the background. She ended up cheating on me and leaving me, lol...and I can't blame her. I was freaking insane.

    With my fiance, it's just different. I've never trusted someone as much as him. We have so much freedom in our relationship. He doesn't get jealous of ANYTHING. If I say I'm going to go hang out with a girlfriend and go to the bar (very very rare, I don't like going out), he just says "okay, have fun babe." He doesn't call once, nothing. I am allowed to date women if I want, so long as it doesn't affect our relationship- such as never being home and spending all my time with someone else. I was very jealous even in the beginning of our relationship, paranoid that he would cheat and leave. The trust built immensely between us and my view on life changed as I "grew up". I personally do not think humans are meant for monogamy. I'm not saying they CANT, I'm saying it is a difficult choice to make and many fail.

    Our open relationship started when I realized how often we had sex. Literally 3-5 times a day, even after years of being together. I asked him what we would do when he or me (back when I was active) deployed. That could he REALLY go that long without it? Especially when they are hitting ports, going to strip clubs, getting wasted and hadn't had sex in months? Just didn't seem logical to me. He guaranteed me he would be "fine" and that he would never want to lose me and mess up like that. I rolled my eyes and told him that it was ME that thought there's no way I can go that long. LOL. This is when we made a deal that during deployment, if something happens with someone else, it's fine. There are rules set in place though. No relationships, etc. I trust him and trust that he wouldn't develop a relationship with someone on deployment. Sometimes I worry, but I know that he loves me and he will be coming home to me :)

    Plus, good luck with him finding a girl as open as I am! :-))
  • edited August 2012
    Wow, I'm sorry that was so long @mommylovessparkle
  • edited August 2012
    My husband always brings it up but whenever I ask him "would you really? " hes like "well no. I'm too big of a chicken Shit" he says he would like to but its just a fantasy and always looks at it that way.
  • edited August 2012
    I think that's how the majority of men are @kayleigh27. Threesomes are fun, but they aren't all they are chalked up to be. It can be very awkward, especially for the girl coming in from outside the relationship. Can you imagine how nervous she would be? Afraid to do something wrong, what if she breaks a rule, what if the wife/gf is jealous, what if she isn't splitting her time between them equally enough, etc etc.
  • Yeah @captivated he said that he doubt he could keep up with both of us. Lmao
  • edited August 2012
    @captivated I am in the same situation as you me and my man are open. We are not in military anymore so the rules are we play together, and protection is used. We don't want any baby's being made with someone else. We have had sexual relations with my best friend, it was great!!! I totally agree it is not for most ppl, and good luck on him finding someone like me. On that note: I have noticed in the last few years more and more girls like us, in 10 years there will be a lot of women like us!
  • edited August 2012
    Too many life threatening things floating around. My honey and I are straight freaks but we don't play with our well.being.

    Sometimes things go wrong even when you're being safe.
  • edited August 2012
    I was the one to bring up the 3 some talk once , he said he doesnt want to share me regardless if its another girl or another guy.
  • @captivated @heather3rdgirl I never would of guessed there were open couples on here!!! We used to be open as well.. Just stopped all that.
  • Tried it once and just never did it again. We don't even bring it up now. Of course it was about ten years ago and my husbands memory only last ten minutes
  • Hell no!! I worry about STDs
  • @1stwoodsbaby, no one knows in real life :) But here I dont give a hoot what others think of me! Different strokes for different folks!!

    And out of the 15 women I have slept with, never had an STD. Dental dams are a must if doing a hit and run ;)
  • @captivated no one knows in our life either! Are you open with just girls or guys too?
  • We both wouldn't cuz we don't like to share ;)
  • @1stwoodsbaby, both, but only regarding deployment :)
  • @1stwoodsbaby Yeah a few people in our life know but not a whole lot.
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