foster care.. need alotttt of advice!

MommaSC

So long stpry short. My best friends brother had a baby. He and the mom are complete drug addicts. Nobody in their family wants the responsibility of a baby (he is one now, same as my son) so they are looking into foster care. I have alwayssss felt deeply that i would adopt or foster one day and when they told me this those feelings came rushint back. So me and my man are able to provide for us 3.. but in now way rich. Like we are slightly stuggling. But i really want to take this kid because i just have this feeling and i want to help him. So my question is, how much does the goverment help you when you foster a child?

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MommaSC

Thank u. Bump

MommaSC

And i live in Washington

MommaSC

Also my main concern is... would this confuse my 1 year old if this little boy was with us for a few years and then his parents decided to take him back?? I would love to just adopt him but not completely financially stable for that yet. Im finishing school right now so i know id be financially stable within 2 years.. but i just wouldnt want them to take him back befor i could just adopt him... ughhh idk what to do!! I want to help this innocent child and makes sure he doesnt ever feel unwanted!!

MommaSC

Bump

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Mijita

I commend you for wanting to provide a loving and safe environment for this child. My only concern is, what happens if mom and dad sober up after you've formed a bond? Will there be bad blood? I understand if rights become severed, but you'll always have to contend with your friends family. Sorry, don't mean to be a party pooper, but I think it's important to consider given the current circumstance.

2ndtimearound

Has the child already been removed from the parents? Foster care in CA starts off at $620.

MommaSC

Thanks so much for advice. He is now in only custody of his dad who is now mia and back on drugs so he is being watched by his grandma and aunt (who the dad lives with) and they dont want responsibility.. i asked them if they would be ok with me doing foster to adoption and they said yes... i just dont know what to do.. i feel so strongly qbout this but i feel like my SO is not for it.. and it sucks.. i really feel like i am meant to do this...

MommaSC

@Mama_Kat @Mijita @2ndtimearound

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2ndtimearound

They won't give you foster care $ unless social services removes the child and the baby is a dependent of the court.

Mijita

I personally believe you are treading on thin ice. I know you want to care for this neglected child and provide a stable environment, but it's a lot harder than you think. If your SO is not onboard you may cause some unwanted currents in your marriage. It's admirable, but a very big responsibility. I think knowing the family is where the biggest challenge lies. Good luck with your decision, it's a difficult one.

2ndtimearound

You don't have to be licensed if you are a relative or non-related extended family member. And if you foster the child you would usually be asked first if adoption becomes possible.

MommyLovesSparkle

Wow how can someone just give up their child?? Specially basically choosing drugs over the baby. Poor baby

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JoshnEviesmum

I went through a similar situation with my niece, her dad (my bro) and her mother are both a total waste of space. I had to go through social services and apply through court for parental responsibility. Once everything was sorted, i got £300/month. I would say, be very very sure you want to do this. Its not easy raising somebody elses child, and i know that at times my son felt neglected, because sadie needed a lot of attention. That being said, im not sorry i did it, i know without a doubt that she has a better quality of life with us than she would have had otherwise, but there is definitely a lot to consider.