I don't know anymore! :(
My husband is constantly telling me to cheer up, that he doesn't want me to get late postpartum depression and be put on meds or worse get commended and my MIL is a b*tch enough that she would have me commended my husband says. Is there such a thing as late on set postpatum depression? I just don't know anymore. I find myself happy at times and other times so down that I find myself crying and I don't always know why. I just lost my car back in february and don't have the means to go anywhere when my husband is at work. I work for alittle bit in July and it was nice to get out of the house. But I got fired because someone there didn't like me and set out to get me fired and my hours were not flexible enough for them. But I have a baby and I can't be working all the time. Then I was going to start college back up in August but the people in fiancial aid screwed me around and I didn't everything in time for the dead line so I now have to wait till January. And I feel like such a loser and failer. And college was not just to give my daughter a better future but also gave me some "me" time to get out of the house almost every day for alittle bit and make some more friends because I moved to Montana a year and two months ago and I only have two friends here. One of my friends is always working and has two children: her second child she had shortly after I had my daughter in Jaunary and she really doesn't have time anymore for me and my other friend is a college student and works full time so she really doesn't have time for me. And all the friends I had in Washington don't call me at all anymore or hardly ever. I am always home with my daughter and don't get me wrong I love my little girl but I need some time for me. And I lost half my pregnacy weight but I still have to lose the other half and can't seem to. I will drop 5 pounds and then gain 5 pounds back and I want to get new clothes and a new look to make me feel better about myself but I have to lose the weight first. I don't feel like a women anymore or a sexy one for my husband. I don't do the hobbies I enjoy before I had my daughter anymore. A sleep alot and am always tired. Tired of doing house cleaning and taking care of baby all the time and having no me time ever once in awhile. Hope the Insanity workout gets me in shape because if one thing good happens then I feel everything else will fall into place. Help tired feeling this way and I am sorry this was so long but I needed to vent and I need help. Don't know what else to do!
Comments
The Insanity workout will do wonders! You just have to follow it and stick with it. Exercise is great for depression because of the endorphins it releases. This can lift your mood immensely! Not to mention getting some more self-esteem by getting in shape. Know that your life will not always remain like this. Get started with school in January and get a small part time job. Once you begin working towards something, the hopelessness with start to fade.
It is not bad to need a break from your LO. Without allotting time for yourself, you're doing a disservice to her. Can BD stay with her while you go do something? Get your hair cut, colored, get your nails done? Something?
I went through the last three years of my life in deep depression. I never felt like there would be a light at the end of the tunnel and my world crashed down around me. I finally see that light in the distance and things are slowly beginning to turn for the better. It won't be instant. You may not see it now, but nothing lasts forever. Keep that hope alive inside of you.