exhausted with defending my feelings!! im gunna explode!

devins_mommy

im seriously going to pop. my mom has become my WORST ENEMY! how sad is that?!

basically, me and my ex are talking again and are friendly, and trying to rebuild that old relationship we had, idk if thats the right way to put it. but were having fun together and rebuild trust. and were both working on ourselves individually, with our careers and stability. so what that being said, my mom has basically said, if ur seeing him. im not babysitting or supporting. all she does is talk crap and treats me like compleat crap for having my feelings and opinions, thats not what a MOTHER should be doing.. am i right?! and there is nothing i can do, because im dependent on her, i dont have a car or a job, or my own place. and i C.AN.N.O.T stand it. i hate myself for being so dependent on her, its not okay for myself or my son.

idk if any of this makes sense, but i cant deal right now! :-((

[Deleted User]

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devins_mommy

iv already tryed seeing her side. and i get it. she doesnt want me to get hurt. but theres a time when she needs to realize, the harder she pushes its just going to push me over the edge. she isnt considering my feelings or my thoughts. its an automatic, " shes right, im wrong, and if its not my way - its no way " thats the kind of person she is. she thinks she NEVER wrong!
@homebirthadvocate

captivated

I would do the same if in her position. Doesn't matter how old you are...you're under my roof andwant free babysitting? Then its on my terms. I definitely see where she is coming from. I see your side as well, but if you want it any differently, ya better bust your butt to become independent!

MommyLovesSparkle

I think she needs to stop being so hard on you and understand he's always going to be in your life forever no matter what.

[Deleted User]

As long as you live with your parent(s) they'll always be in your business. The only way you'll be happy is to move out and become independent.

jules

It sounds to me like she's trying to protect you. I don't know the some story or your mom and your ex and what went down with that. But you do so take minute and put on your mom shoes and think how would u react if your child was doing what your doing. Which like I said I don't know any details only you know. And after some thought maybe you can talk to her see what comes of it. Good luck !

LeviLuv8

my mom would do the same. As wrong and mean as you may "think" she i's being. Everyone here is saying the same she is trying to protect you. You may think she isa being "to harsh" she just doesn't want to see you hurt again and thats probably what she thinks will happen, and it could.

Mrs4c

What are you going to school for?

starrxoxo9

She watched one sided as this guy hurt her daughter repeatedly for months. Put yourself in her shoes. She's probably been down that road before, and knows the outcome. I totally get where she's coming from. I hate to say it but you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you guys wanna be together and be a family, you need to get it together and grow up. Not be pissed that your mom won't watch your kid so you can go out on dates and to social things. I know your young, but your priorities need to change. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I watched all my friends have kids at a young age, and they all went through the same thing you're going through. And only the children truly suffered from it.

devins_mommy

@Mrs4c early childhood education.

Mrs4c

Oh how fun! It ain't east, but rewarding when you're done!

trixiesmom8

Yepp! Sounds just like me. My mom got so incredibly mad about me being with my now fiance 5 yrs ago she called me a slut. Now we don't talk and she thinks she is this amazing grandma everyone knows she is not! She tried to start si much bs I got fed up and moved out right at 18 and moved in with my dad(divorced parents). She has yet to apologize for anything she had said or did. She has only seen my lo a handleful of times. Hope things get better for you hun!

devins_mommy

@trixiesmom8 Its like my ex and my mol have this love / hate thing, like they hate eachother then months go by and there okay again.. its just exhausting. I'm risen between my heart and my little family and my family who I love, but they don't respect me to make my own choices. Yesterday we got into another argument because my brother's gf, texted me asking why I blocked her on fb, because she didnt support my decision to be with my ex. and I told her flat out, I'm not doing the drama anymore, I'm happy and if she didn't like that, then I'm sorry but I'm not taking the attitudes anymore. She responded with 'fine, then you are going to have no part in my childs life' ( she's 4 months preggo) and proceeds to delete me on fb. Ohh && my mom spit on and threw away my exs hat. That my little brother use to wear. It's so unnessicary!

trixiesmom8

Do what makes you happy and screw everyone else! Lol that's what I did, and to this day I do not regret it. If you aren't happy no one else will be esp your son. So what if no one likes your ex...you do and that's all that matters. If they can't realize that he is and always will be a part of your life, no matter what happens then forget about them, including family. I've learned in the past that just because they are family, they don't get a say on how you live your life. You and you alone can only make the decisions on how things go. If they don't like it well then oh well, they aren't good enough to be in your life. If they can't support you and your decisions on who you want to be with or how you raise your son then I'd say forget them and move on!

That's how I've looked at my situation with my mom and her side of the family. Sorry I wrote a novel.

devins_mommy

@trixiesmom8 its so hard because I have.to rely on everyone to get me places, and to live with. It's like a struggle to find a job, and if I do, I have to work around everyones scedual, so its not like k can just take ne job. Plus were moving to a different town at the end of the month / middle of October.. so idk what I'm going to do :-( I just want to be independent again, have my own car, job, and place. I want to feel happy that I can provide for my family.. but I can't unless I get everything I need, and its so hard..

trixiesmom8

I'm sorry you have to put everyone else's needs before your own. I would think they would try and help you out with getting a job first. I would think they would want you to have one, unless that's one thing they can bank on so you can't get away.