STFU!

MyBamBina28

so dh & i got into an argument this morning because i told my uncle he was awake.hes supposed to help him move because my uncle has kidney stones & cant lift.plus dh owes him money & a lil bit was knocked off the debt.anyways while he was on the phone he was flicking me off then after the phone call he kept telling me stfu and called me a stupid F*** then he woke up my sick cranky 11 month old and said if he has to get up i do.ive told him many times that when he tells me stfu its disrespectful and hurts.he doesn't think its a big deal,then i tell him im already unhappy and hes makin it easy to leave,im still trying to figure out if its me im unhappy with or us but shit like that convinces me its us..am i wrong or is the way he talks to me "petty" as he would say

Charleighmommy

Men are just stupid! My husband gets onto his little fits to.. I just ignore him.. I for a while thought splitting up was the best idea so I left for about 6 months we both dated other people and realized that wasn't what we wanted.. we are back together and expecting our first child and things get hard but I push threw it and realize this is what I wanted.. No one is perfect.. We both have our flaws . . Do you guys fight all the time or just once in a while..

MyBamBina28

@mom2ing ive been with him 8 years and yes he came a long way ( we both used to be very physically abusive) it took us to separate for 13 months due to him getting locked up to appreciate eachother.i was so convinced he completely changed and then got pregnant so fast that i couldn't give a chance to see if we would do things right this time around,this is just the least of how hes talked to me in the past 2 years.i normally dont air our dirty but i feel like im about to explode ive bottled so much to spare his feelings on how he makes me feel and i trust my preglies with all my heart to guide me through this

MyBamBina28

@nikki2690 i wouldn't say we fight all the time but when we do its bad.i feel like were happy for the moments were not fighting and miserable the rest of the time.were both exhausted..me being a full time mom and him working extremely long hours.i just dont want our daughter to be raised thinking its ok to disrespect/ be disrespected the way we do & i try hard not to but i feel like he brings the worst out of me sometime.i feel if we didn't have our dd i would of left a long time ago,btw congrats,ive kept up with your journey and happy u received ur happy outcome

MyBamBina28

@blessedtxmom trust me a few years ago i would of but we have a history of domestic violence and we broke that cycle

Charleighmommy

I know exactly how you feel.. But only you can decide what you want .. Its hard and I can only imagine how would have been if we had the baby before we figured everything out.. Keep your head up darling

Btw thank you for saying that sometimes I feel like I just post and but no one really pays attention lol I mean people comment but its nice to no there is someone who actually followed!

MyBamBina28

@mom2ing countless times it seems it ok for the time being cuz he knows im pissed then after i forgive him its back to normal hes got that 'shell never leave me' attitude and that erks the shit outta me

@nikki2690 day by day,im not making anymore promises i told him a couple weeks ago i know somewhere in my heart forever isn't an option for us
oh yeah i dont always comment but i know whats up lol i think i was worse then u with picking out everything so early lol

Charleighmommy

Lol you have no idea I want everything now.. Everyone else if so patient waiting til they are like five six months here I am 9 Weeks stressing over bedding strollers car seats cribs.. My sister in law has already made it clear I'm stupid for buying this early because I could still lose the baby.. Ugh lol I'm not going to lose this baby this is my miracle its going to stick with me..there is no other option..

Máthair

Honestly I would leave. Look at it from a mother's perspective if your daughter (at the same age you are now) was with a guy who acted like him what would you want her to do? Would you want her to see that as a normal loving relationship? If you would then stay if you would want her to find better move on. Because our children see what we do and use it as a blue print for their adult lives.

natashalynn

As I've gotten older, I've realized that I completely used my parents as a guide line for a relationship.(luckily for me, they're incredible role models...got engaged after nine months,my mom was 19: married at 13 months, and with child within three years and just celebrated their 34th anniversary!) Children really do notice your relationship and it becomes engrained in them that YOUR relationship is normal. If you'd be okay with your child having the same relationship as you, then its okay. All relationships take work and maybe this is just a trial you need to work through. However, if he won't compromise and help the situation, or you're not okay with your child having the same relationship, then you need to leave.
Of course this is all my opinion, and of course its easier to say than do. Sorry for the novel! Lol. Wishing you the best love!

ashley_smashley

Oh my gosh you are so right! @natashalynn ! My first marriage I stayed in FAR to long bc I thought fighting/yelling/disrespect were all normal parts if marriage...bc of my parents! This time around there is nothing but love abd respect!

To the OP Hunny he doesn't respect, and sounds like he never will. Is that the type of role model you want for your kids?

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YNVTish

I agree with @natashalynn .. my parents have been married 30+ years as well. I never hear my dad cuss my mom our and vice versa. It's a respect level he should always watch. You're suppose to be his other half... Not beneath him.

captivated

That is emotional abuse and I would never tolerate my fiance speaking to me like that. Ever.

dra765

if you already know the answer (seems like you do) then just do what you have to do. stay and be unhappy or leave and be alone, but happy. its hard when there's a child involved since he will always be with you. its better to leave before things get to the point of no return. yea its hard as hell to.push yourself to do it bc heart break sucks, but if you know its best get it over with now instead of later. just my 2 cents

MyBamBina28

@nikki2690 lol i registered so early and then switched everything once i learned the gender!

i agree with all of u ladies neither of us had good examples and now were repeating it he thinks words dont hurt and he fails to comprehend no matter hpw petty it is its still disrespect n it does hurt.im not scared of leaving im scared of starting over i work one day a week and have no money my car is almost done for plus he uses it for work cuz he dont have one.im trying to get back on my feet so that i could walk out whenever i want without worrying how am i gonna pay for this or that
@conreeaght
@natashalynn
@ynvtish
@mama_kat
@ashley_smashley
@captivated
@dre765

natashalynn

I think that it will always be hard to walk away, emotionally and financially. However, there are a ton of resources out there for women in your situation. Take advantage of them!!!!!!! They're made for you!! Also, lean on family, friends, churches. It MAY get easier financially if you wait, but it will only get harder emotionally. If you need help looking resources up, I know there's a lot of women on here who are quite good at research. @captivated being one of them.

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