Adoption!? </3

esperanzasmommy

Hey ladies,
Im 16 I had my baby February 19th she was healthy weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces an was 19 1/2 inches long she was named Esperanza isabelle Ramirez im so in love with her shes precious she has a full set of black hair she smiles and giggles in her sleep I got pregnant at 15 I had her at 16 she changed my life like she put sunshine over my head but I smoke weed I drank Sunday an smoked but still took care of my baby an today me an my boyfriend took her to the park (but slept the whole time) then went to a friends we had her in the carrier but had a blanket over it because it was kinda windy we were smoking am I a bad mom I feel horrible I take good Care of her but she scratched up her face she got fussy when I was changing her I didn't have her mittens on now she might be running a fever im watching her sleep an im in tears an cant stop crying do I deserve to have her in my life does she deserve to have me as a mother shes 11 days old im thinking about adoption it comes to mind when I smoke or have her with me I hate myself so much..
Im sorry ladies I know im a terrible mother =(( but I love her like crazy I do smoke every day but its once I dont smoke to get high I do it to relive stress but what about my baby she dosent need to be around it

preggointx

Stop smoking

[Deleted User]

Everybody makes mistakes so dont beat yourself up, BUT you must realize you are no longer a carefree teenager and irresponsible activities like that can end really bad for you and your baby.



Sweetie, now you have to put your beautiful baby first. I can only imagine what emotions are going through your head. But you are now in charge of a HUMAN LIFE...before you do anything think of the consequences that can follow. Good luck sweetie.

ohboylifeischanging

Sweetie no one is in the position to judge you as a person or parent..I would encourage you to do some research on adoption with ur baby's father and your family to make that decision. My advice to you would be to stop smoking/drinking especially around your baby. Your current behavior is not safe or healthy for either one of you. becoming a mom is a life changing moment and when you made the decision to become a mom you assumed the commitment of a lifetime of sacrifice. Your needs/wants are second to your baby. She needs you there and healthy to give her the best life possible. Please make the decision to make better choices for you and your child's life. You are stronger than you think sunshine! Good luck

kkmommy

Maybe you should talk to your doctor, you just had this baby and your hormones are still out of whack. @NewMommy_NavyWife is right, you need to consider the consequenes of your actions and remember how bad you feel after each incident. If you still decide to make these bad decisions make a good one also by asking someone responsible to watch your daughter for a few hours. I'm not saying these things are good for you to be doing but definately better if your child is not around. Things can get better, you just have to want them to be better. Good luck to you and I am praying for you and your precious little one...

esperanzasmommy

I Know I would hate to be without her I mean I LOVE HER I feel like the only reason my heart is beating is because of her I know what I do is wrong but during the moment that's when I think about adoption she deserves the best mom ever an that's what im going to be thanks for your advice your great >:D< @NewMommy_NavyWife

esperanzasmommy

Thanks I know I shouldnt do it around her but your right she comes first @kkmommy

vette_devil

I agree with the others; your baby HAS to come first, now and ALWAYS. If you can't or don't want to stop smoking, then take it away from her, please! And find someone to care for her while you do it. I dated a guy when I was in my teens who smoked pot & 'thought' he was a great & caring boyfriend when he was stoned, but it was like dating a sack of potatoes when he was high. He sat there & stared off into space for hours... You might be taking care of your baby's immediate needs, but not interacting the same as you might if you were not under the influence. Please seek other methods of stress relief for the sake of your baby; exercise, yoga, meditation, a warm bath or shower, soothing music etc... good luck!

[Deleted User]

@esperanzasmommy admitting and knowing what you did is wrong is a step in the right direction. Find other outlets to relieve stress. I myself prior to getting prego enjoyed kick boxing...try it.

cheryl74

Ah hunny as you're even making the first start by admitting there's a problem that shows someone with a great mummy head on her shoulders. Is weed more important than your little girl? I'd say definitely not so why not think of that when you want one...did you smoke it whilst pregnant? Cause if not then you know you don't need it...but if occasionally you give in make sure its never around your daughter. I think your a smart girl and deep down you know your gonna be a good mummy. So just knock the weed on its head :-) x x x

esperanzasmommy

I stopped smoking when I found out I was 2 months pregnant but stopped when they told me if I didn't stop they would take her so I stopped completely I should just stop thank you @Cheryl74

VictoriaB

My husband and I have talked about my pot habit. Once the baby is here, I'll only smoke if my husband can watch him/her or if I have someone babysit. Same with drinking.
My husband used to be a stoner too but he quit when he was 26. His son had just been born and he realized that a baby or small child can have an accident anytime and if that happens, you need to be sober so you can take care of the baby or take the baby to the hospital if needed.
Your hormones might be making you feel bad too. If you still feel terrible, talk to your doctor. I hope your boyfriend still isn't being verbally abusive too. That wont help at all.

eaparker

If u went ur entire pregnancy without it then u know u have the strength to quit. Find an outlet that is better. You will be a great mom just because you realize there is an issue.

cheryl74

No worries sweetie, I may be one of the oldest on here lol but I've been young once. Before my first daughter arrived I smoked pot, took pills, Omg you name it I took it. The day I found out I was pregnant I stopped everything. My little (lol) girl is nearly 15 now, so not far off your age and I council her school on sex and drugs. You really arnt alone. X x and I will add I haven't touched ANYTHING since then (although I've been tempted) x x

MomE2A09X11

I wouldn't smoke with the baby around.

sara102011

You can still be a mom and smoke weed. You just have to learn to balance the 2. Obviously dont go to doctors appointments high and dont be out in public getting high with your friends when you have her. The last thing you need is to get caught out with your daughter with weed. I think if you adopted her away you would totally regret it when you are older. Especially since the reason why you are thinking about adoption.

esperanzasmommy

I just feel like she deserves better i LOVE her im 16 but I have grown up alot since ive had her im a great mom I got high last night but my dad was watching her I couldn't an wouldn't stop cheaking on her but afterwards I still took care of her @Sara102011

[Deleted User]

You guys aren't scared? maybe bc I'm a worry wart but you guys are scared you might piss a "friend" off and they call child services on you? And if they test you it's gonna be positive and then they can paint this fake horrible picture of you as a mother.

Idk im just a paranoid person.

coolbabybeans

You need to chose between your daughter and being a child yourself. I think its a little selfish of you to put weed before your baby. If you don't think you can manage taking care of your baby maybe adoption is a good choice for you. I don't want to make you feel worse but I feel like some things should be said. You need to spend some time thinking about what u really want. You chose to keep your baby now u need to do what's right for her. Best wishes

sara102011

Im from Colorado so smoking weed isnt really something people tread on. In Denver its legal 21+. Unless you are illegally growing mad plants, or neglecting your children its not a problem.

sara102011

@esperanzasmommy smoking weed doesnt make you a bad person

esperanzasmommy

But I handle mines my daughter dose noy get ignored I don't fall asleep I sober up then attend to her shes asleep when I smoke I have some one watch her now @coolbabybeans an my child does come 1st.

sara102011

like i said, smoking weed doesnt make you a bad person or a bad mom. keep your child. you know what you have to do to be a good mom. do it. its a decision you wont regret.

esperanzasmommy

But everyone makes it seem like it is shes fine my daughter is a happy baby I actually regret posting this lol @Sara102011

[Deleted User]

Idk I guess I worry too much. I just know when I was in college a friend of mine had a newborn and she partied like any normal college kid while her child was with her mom. Well she pissed he bd off bc she was going on dates so he called dss saying she was a drunk etc telling all these lies and had her daughter placed in foster care while they investigated. Just be careful sweetie.

mamikailee

I dont get whats the point of smoking weed. Im 15 and have sooo much stress but i dont smoke weed or drink. I deal with it and when your child grows up do you want them to look at you as responsible or you smoked weed. My mom never smoked weed and my dad smokes it every single day. I look up to my mom waaay more. I live with her she has a good paying job and can provide. My dad has no job and spends all his money on weed. Just an honest story from a kid who has a parent who smoked/smokes weed. Also one who never plans to smoke it.

coolbabybeans

Smoking weed does not make u a bad person. Smoking weed with your friends a few days after your baby is born is irresponsible and like navy wife said u need to be careful they can and will take ur baby from u if they think ur a neglectful parent. so like I said u have to make a choice.

Mrsmaxi2010

I was 16and pregnant,I smoked weed and ,drank soon as I found out I stopped.my baby came first,and I haven't touched the stuff since.my personal opinion is that you stopped once when she was in your tummy,you can do it now she's the most precious thing in the world to you,just look at her lil face and think I will do this for you.could you imagine loosing your child cos u smoked weed.I don't get how ppl like to do things like that,children are precious there are. So many ppl that would do anything to have a child and your gifted you have one,make the most of her,there only little once and you will regret it.

sara102011

@mamikailee i can understand how you would not understand the point of smoking weed because you have seen it destroy somebody you care a lot about. Many people use it for medical purposes. You would be surprised to see the business men, nurses, teachers, moms, dads, and just about anyone in any catagory using marijuana responsibly. Thats what its all about. Being responsible. At least in Colorado and the 12 other states in the USA..

mamikailee

@Sara102011 yeah i understand that. But some people dont need it and do it just to do it and thats what makes me soooo mad. It tramatized me to see my dad do it cause he didnt need it and that made it so wrong. Why do that to your kids mind when you dont need too! Sorry it just makes me mad cause in a way weed ruined my life.

Mrsmaxi2010

plus you won't have a clear head if she needs you and your high.I got 4kids my 5th on the way my youngest is 9month you can imagine how stressed I get,but I don't turn to anything.its part of being a parent,I grew up,I had to for my boy n I'm still young I'm only 25.