sex dreams :(

MommaSC

What would you ladies do if your boyfriend was laying in bed next to you and started having a sex dream about his ex? ( and i mean full on moaning, making motions with his mouth of giving the girl in his dream oral, then making the faces of the girl giving him a blow job, and smiling and kissing) this happened last night and it was the worst thing in the world to watch his facial expressions and hear him moaning and saying her name and knowing that he really thinks that is what he is doing right at that moment. Seeing him make certain sex faces and smiling a way he doesnt seem to do to me just made me feel sick to my stomach. And idk if this is weird but i didnt even try to wake him up and i dont know why, i feel like i was just kinda in a weird confused and numn shock.. like am i actually seeing this? I feel like im watching him enjoy and orgasam from another girl.. worse being his ex. Idk how to go about this or what to do i feel like i cant even look at him in the face. I need advice...

MommaSC

Bump...

[Deleted User]

I woulda punched the hell outta him! Sometimes when you think about something a lot, you dream about it. I would say something to him about that if I were you.

My2Boys

I would def say something, but idk I cant imagine a person doing all that while sleeping. Are you sure he was sleeping and not trying to piss you off? I would ask him how his nights sleep was, and then say o did you dream about anything?

lindah22

@tootie08 your comment made LOL
but yeah i wouldve been soooooo mad at him
there is no excuses for that. yuck

angie87

Oh wow you should of punched him on the balls that would of woke his ass up. I would just ask him about it see what he says then go from their

MommaSC

@My2Boys.. no no he wasnt like full out having sex with a pillow kind of thing.. dreams like that happen in REM sleep so most of your body is pretty paralized (besides like being able to roll over, twitching a little, etc) this is tmi, but he was just laying there but moaning and then would go from moving his tongue around like he is giving oral then switch to making the "oh my god this feels amazing" face and moaning.. and smiling and kinda doing a little "hmm so your sexy" kinda giggle.. idk i feel like i cant even picture it anymore just because i have tried not to think about it. I just feel like i cant literally be mad at someone for a dream because you cannot control those.. but imbe such a territorial person a that i feel like i will never stop thinking about it or it will be weord to have sex. Like even tho it wasmt cheating it almost felt like it at the time...

MommaSC

@angie87 i just feel like he is going to think it is weird that i didnt wake him up, but to be honest i just felt so humiliated and i didnt want to have to actually talk about the weirdness in the middle of the night.. also since we havent had sex in like over a month, i kinda wanted to see if would say something that would put two and two together..

MommyLovesSparkle

I would've punched him very hard and wouldn't stop arguing with him. I don't want to scare you but most people don't have wet dreams with their ex unless they miss them or seen them somewhere that recurred a past memory. It can also be the no sex at home.

MommaSC

@BlessedTXMom if you read my post it said that im not mad at him because he cant control his dreams. This post was more about how weird it makes me feel that i pretty much heard him fanticizing and having sex with his ex, and idk if its just me but i dont like to think of my man being with anyone, especially when im laying in bed with him and we havent had sex in months no matter how hard i try to..

MommaSC

@MommyLovesSparkle yeah idk if has seen her im pretty sure she is actually getting married next summer but it probably has to do with us argueing before bed so his mind is going to the feel of that happiness when he was in a relationship and didnt have a baby and was less stressed.. i mean once you break up after awhile you usually can only remember the good times with exs not so much the bad. Idk it just sucks that i had to be awake to see and hear.

MamaLove

You can't help your dreams. Do you dream about having sex with other people? I don't think it's even something to bring up. I'm sure you will move on from it. I think you are reading WAY too much into this incident.

silverfairy

Your seriously over thinking it, it was a dream. I dont get why you choose to watch him rather then wake him.

LaFiiTz89

I would have def punched him so hard in the balls and pretended I was asleep lmao

MommaSC

@silverfairy @MamaLove the reason i felt more weird about it was because he has not intiated sex or tried to do anything with me (even when i try) for 2 months now, he has been working late a lot, and when i try to ask why or whats going on with us he just gets defensive and starts blaiming me for stupid little things like im always tired because i have to do homework and thats when he trys to hangout and talk.

Mrs4c

You need to talk to him. Yesterday you made a post about needing advice because he's not approaching you for sex. Only talking to him will help.:)

MommaSC

@Mrs4c yeah i think thats why everythint, especially this is bothering more than it should. I feel like us woman have natural intuition, and we just know when something isnt right. Its all just weird, he is usually the calmest person and best communicator and im usually the one who doesnt like to talk about things. So last night i calmly tried to tell him how i dont think he is doing anything bad, but when this problem (no sex) is not talked about or resolved it is only going to lead to me thinking something else. I was really nice about it and came across in a non blaming, lets just talk about whats wrong way. And he just got super defensive and started almost blaming every little thing i do (and exaggeratting things) and making it seem like yeah he would LOVE to be having sex but i just am the reason we never do. Its just weird because i always try to mention sex, even the last two times we had it i initiated it.. and then he tried to even say oh i only want to have sex to fix things and he doesnt like doing that.. but its not like we have even been in a huge fight and then i try to make a move.. like i think sex is a way to feel connected and in turn helps you communicate better.. not to "fix" anything? Idk its just like he was talking in circles.. idk i just feel like we have feelings for a reason, and people usually dont feel like something is wrong unless it is...

Mrs4c

I think something is bothering him but he has shut down and can't bring himself to talk about it. I'd give it a little time. Maybe don't talk about the no sex issue for a day or two and wait for him to make the next move. Let him make the move by talking to you about whatever is bothering him. He may need the time to feel comfortable again to open up and not feel trampled by you questioning him. He sounds like a sweet guy and really just may need some time.

MommyLovesSparkle

I really don't think your over reacting. If it was just a normal wet dream its okay to let go.. but it was about his ex, plus he don't want to have sex with you. I feel like its fishy. Talk to him.

MommaSC

@MommyLovesSparkle.. thank you for seeing where im coming from. Its not like im mad that he dreams or thinks about sex.. i mean even if he would of been saying a celebrities name instead of his ex i wouldnt have probably even been as uncomfortable. But who wouldnt feel uncomfortable hearing their boyfriend having a wet dream about their last intimate partner? Nobody wants to hear the sounds or see them make the faces from the way their ex makes them feel during sex.

Lacy809

I think that would hurt me more then make me mad.. I can see where your coming from!

MommyLovesSparkle

I understand, we can't even mention our ex's names in the house. I couldn't imagine what your goin through because just imagining it is extremely hurtful. I feel for you mama.

CristinaLynn

I would be pissed. The fact that he isn't showing any interest in you sexually and having sex dreams about his ex would have me heated. What you dream about if what's in your mind...whatever it may be. Either consciously or subconsciously that's what was there.

a_wagner

Well you know done people say you dream about things that are on your mind.

Janet_2011

I would be beyond pissed, but i wouldnt stress too much over it, to be honest i had dreams with my ex before, sex and everything else included and we were over in good terms, i dont miss him and i have no feelings towards him at all plus the relationship was over more than 5 years ago.. i have even had dreams about girls and i dont like girls in any way.. dreams are just dreams, they dont always have to mean anything, i had dreams of my self cheating on my husband (which i dont even think about) or him cheating on me. but i seriously would had woken his ass up

natashalynn

Now I'll say first off, that Im really sorry you're going through this. It's definitely not a fun thing tohave to experience. But I've had sex dreams about an ex of mine, more than once actually, but would never think about chasing after him again. Yes, dreams sometimes are based off something you're thinking about, but sometimes not. I mean, I think everyone here can think of a dream they have had that they can't explain. I don't think you can hold this against him, but I do think you should talk to him about it, without being accusatory. Just be honest. Tell him you're feeling insecure about your relationship, how you're not intimate anymore. And I know what you mean about the gut instinct, I agree its there for a reason, but sometimes past issues get our head racing, and we can mix those instincts up. But only you two can really figure it out.

sands3

I'm so sorry girl! I'd be very hurt too.