a mother in need of advice

hsweetie21

Me and my husband have been separated for 9 months now and I am currently with my boyfriend that is also the father of my youngest child. Well my ex husband just informed me 3 days ago that he was going to start dating and that the children already met her. I was shocked and pissed. He hasn't even known this girl for a month and the agreed to date the same day that my kids mim et her. To me I think he should have waited , I don't think he needs to introduce girls to my children untill I have met them and I think they are decent. To add to this issue my husband lives in a two bedroom apartment with his male room mate. Now a third guy who was homeless is sleeping on there couch along with his new gf. I have three children 3 and under they wouldn't be able to tell me if something was going on. And I'm worried. I don't know what to do. My soon to be ex husband has never been like this. He only sees his children one night. And doesn't pay anything for them. I need to know if my chances of gaining full custody are good along with obtaining child support

jules

Well I don't think it will problem getting custody since they go off who the children are more with already and no problem with child super at all he will even have to do some back pay for the last 9 moths. On the girlfriend situation however I know where the worry comes from but at same time don't take it out on the Children it's but they're fault he introduced her. What I mean by take out on the kids is them not being around their dad is much. I only speak from being a girlfriend of divorced guy and his ex was in same place as you had new man living with her and they have child together now. Ever since I have been in the picture she has done everything possible to make sure she has her daughter more. Only because her kid started having fun spending time with me she didn't like it so now he has her less. In the end u are not punishing him or the gf but your own kids. Please please don't take wrong way I am just trying to help u feel better and make good choice. As u can see I'm normal so we don't know anything about this girl but give her chance. And I don't agree them living together we didn't do that until I got pregnant because he wanted to be a family and be involved. I have.thought about this since I was pregnant asking myself what if and sad to say Marquise Kb knows I don't want my daughter around random women but I also know it's not in my hands I can't control it just hope he respects my wishes. Lol if he ever did that let someone move in we would have serious issues. Because they better be serious and wanting to get married. It's but fair to the kids to have people come and go. Like I said it's not the gf fault or the kids and introducing is one thing but moving in he better be ready to put ring on it.

hsweetie21

@jules yeah I kno, I just hope she's a good person. And she's young only 21. But I more worried about the guy living on his couch that I don't kno , my ex is natorious for passing out during the day when the kids r awake and I just don't know him

jules

I'm only 22 and take great care of the kids. And have done so for 2 half years... How old is he? Well the guy crashing there is not cool it should be a home for the kids but bunch people they are not related to. Get the paper work together and also talk to him about it. Tell him your not trying to control his relationship life but the fact that all these people are staying there u don't think is the best for the kids. They need a place to eat and play and be able to watch TV and so crafts and be kids without having to worry about being in the way of all these people. But maybe the new girl can help with that. When I first met Marquis he had guy living with him..let's just say not even two months of the relationship the guy was gone and we had new place. Not been BC I said anything but he realize that's single guy thing and he wasn't single and wanted place for us without the annoying room mate.

captivated

According to the judge, his new relationships are none of your business. He is equally a parent as you. Trying to go to court for something like this would make you look controlling and vindictive. Unfortunately, you have to deal with it. You are not together and there are no laws regarding when a parent can involve a SO with their children. Your best bet is to request to meet her and develop an amicable relationship.

sands3

I don't know anything about custody and child support but I understand your upset with him introducing yalls kids to this new girl. Me and my husband were talking about separation at one point and we agreed no bf/gf would meet the kids until the other parent did. You don't want random people coming in and out of their lives.

hsweetie21

@capitvated do u know if there are laws aganist not have rooms for the kids because he sleeps in the same room with three kids?

jules

This has nothing to so with him dating people. I mean u guys are no longer together. But when u go to court they ask each person of there is anyone else living in the home and they all u fill out paper work for each of those people so they can do back round check. I mean he can date whoever he wants I hope that's not the problem here. But if she is staying there and you want to make sure his new gf and.room mate are safe for the children they will do check on them. And.as far as room. I know here they do ask if the child has their own room. I think siblings are ok obviously but it sure won't help him if his sharing a room with them and his gf..