I just sent this to my brother- Waiting for the fallout now. Ugh.
Okay David, you asked for this, so here you go. I dont expect you to like it, and I dont want you to reply with excuses as I really havent got the energy to argue with you, and I already know where you stand.
But, I feel very much that you are the one that has taken advantage, along with other members of this so called family, and I am totally and completely fed up with it. I have three siblings, and yet through no fault of my own, I have been left to deal with all of the fallout regarding our mums ill health. I have been caring for her, singlehandedly, for years. Only recently, when I rang Joanne up in tears and told her I couldnt cope anymore, did she step in. 2 Months ago. Ive been working my arse off, neglecting my own kids and family, to look after OUR mum. You know, the person that brought us all into the world.
There has been NO support from any of you, whilst you all carried on with your own lives, I got left behind to shoulder all the crap on my own. I Sound resentful dont I? Thats because I am. I am the youngest of the four of us, yet I have been the one to go to hospitals, get called out at 5am when mum has had falls, be the one who has dealt with all her debt, wiped her arse for her, fed her, washed her etc and generally be the one in charge of everything. None of you, bar Joanne, has ever bothered to even ring me up and ask me if I need anything, or if you could help. I do it because shes my mum, and regardless of how I feel about her, I take care of her because shes the only mother I have, and unlike you, when shes gone, I'll be an orphan. Yes, because youve still got your dad, and I dont even have that to fall back on.
You say you dont give a shit about mum, and thats your call, I cant and wont debate the rights and wrongs of that with you. But what I will say is this: If anybody has reason to hate her, Its me. After all, I was the one 'left' there with her when she was drinking and drugging every day, getting beaten by Rik, (I still have the scars on my face from that one) having petrol bombs put outside our door, and having to sleep in my trainers because more often than not I had to run out in the early hours to go to the phonebox to call the police. And, again, where were you Dave? Off on your jolly's living your life, leaving a 7 year old kid in utter misery. At least you had a fucking escape. And at least you werent on your OWN , the way I was. You had Jo n Chris, and Nan, And Dave and Val. YOU , AS THE ELDEST, Should have done something for me way back then. YOU should have taken me in, but you didnt give a shit. You just left me there. And yet, even though all of that happened, I still can find it in my heart to take care of her when she needs it. And I still found it in my heart to try to help you out on the numerous occasions that I have. I have looked after your child for FIVE years!, I have taken you in, MORE THAN ONCE I MIGHT ADD, I have lent you money for deposits etc etc, and I have always tried to be a good sister to you, and help you out whenever you have asked me to. Really and truly, I should have washed my hands of all of you. None of you have ever been there when I was desperate, LIKE RIGHT NOW.
And what is your reason for hating mum the way you do? Coz she made bad choices? A bit hypocritical, when you look at your relationship with Sadie. Youve hardly been an excellent parent. Most recent example: Going to Spain on holiday, KNOWING that the kid hadnt got a pot to piss in. It took all of her guts to text and ask you for the money you had promised her for her birthday , and you knocked her back. As a parent, I have no clue how you could begin to have a good time, knowing the kid didnt even have a fiver to her name. But thats a different story.
As it stands right now, I have no feeling left for you, but that fact that you are my brother would galvanise me to step in and be there if you needed help. Thats family. How the fuck you got so selfish is beyond me, Here I am, with M.E, and rheumatica, and 2 young kids, picking up the pieces, AGAIN, because the three of you havent bothered. For that, I despise all of you. Ive told Joanne, and at least she now trying to step up and do the right thing. Late yes, but the help is appreciated regardless. With Chris, its a neccessity to keep him away, as things would be even more tense and stressed if he was in the picture, but you? Youve got no excuse. The sole reason that you havent seen mum is because of the fucking merc that you left her parking fines to deal with. You were quick enough to go around there when she gave you 5 hundred quid a couple of years back, or when you wanted to borrow £20 here and there. Shame on you David. Sorry, but 'not liking' mother is NO grounds for the way you are behaving. I dont fucking like her, never have much, but shes my mum. She gave me life. And for that reason, she deserves my help now.She deserves YOUR help now. The way she is now is heartbreaking, shes fucking brain damaged, bedridden, and very very scared and yet you still cant do the decent thing. Well, if you cant be bothered, thats your call, but let it be said now, that if you cant step up, as the ELDEST, then dont bother once shes dead. I dont want to know you anymore. I forgave you for everything as a kid, but I wont be doing it again. From now on, I have no brother, I wash my hands.
But, I feel very much that you are the one that has taken advantage, along with other members of this so called family, and I am totally and completely fed up with it. I have three siblings, and yet through no fault of my own, I have been left to deal with all of the fallout regarding our mums ill health. I have been caring for her, singlehandedly, for years. Only recently, when I rang Joanne up in tears and told her I couldnt cope anymore, did she step in. 2 Months ago. Ive been working my arse off, neglecting my own kids and family, to look after OUR mum. You know, the person that brought us all into the world.
There has been NO support from any of you, whilst you all carried on with your own lives, I got left behind to shoulder all the crap on my own. I Sound resentful dont I? Thats because I am. I am the youngest of the four of us, yet I have been the one to go to hospitals, get called out at 5am when mum has had falls, be the one who has dealt with all her debt, wiped her arse for her, fed her, washed her etc and generally be the one in charge of everything. None of you, bar Joanne, has ever bothered to even ring me up and ask me if I need anything, or if you could help. I do it because shes my mum, and regardless of how I feel about her, I take care of her because shes the only mother I have, and unlike you, when shes gone, I'll be an orphan. Yes, because youve still got your dad, and I dont even have that to fall back on.
You say you dont give a shit about mum, and thats your call, I cant and wont debate the rights and wrongs of that with you. But what I will say is this: If anybody has reason to hate her, Its me. After all, I was the one 'left' there with her when she was drinking and drugging every day, getting beaten by Rik, (I still have the scars on my face from that one) having petrol bombs put outside our door, and having to sleep in my trainers because more often than not I had to run out in the early hours to go to the phonebox to call the police. And, again, where were you Dave? Off on your jolly's living your life, leaving a 7 year old kid in utter misery. At least you had a fucking escape. And at least you werent on your OWN , the way I was. You had Jo n Chris, and Nan, And Dave and Val. YOU , AS THE ELDEST, Should have done something for me way back then. YOU should have taken me in, but you didnt give a shit. You just left me there. And yet, even though all of that happened, I still can find it in my heart to take care of her when she needs it. And I still found it in my heart to try to help you out on the numerous occasions that I have. I have looked after your child for FIVE years!, I have taken you in, MORE THAN ONCE I MIGHT ADD, I have lent you money for deposits etc etc, and I have always tried to be a good sister to you, and help you out whenever you have asked me to. Really and truly, I should have washed my hands of all of you. None of you have ever been there when I was desperate, LIKE RIGHT NOW.
And what is your reason for hating mum the way you do? Coz she made bad choices? A bit hypocritical, when you look at your relationship with Sadie. Youve hardly been an excellent parent. Most recent example: Going to Spain on holiday, KNOWING that the kid hadnt got a pot to piss in. It took all of her guts to text and ask you for the money you had promised her for her birthday , and you knocked her back. As a parent, I have no clue how you could begin to have a good time, knowing the kid didnt even have a fiver to her name. But thats a different story.
As it stands right now, I have no feeling left for you, but that fact that you are my brother would galvanise me to step in and be there if you needed help. Thats family. How the fuck you got so selfish is beyond me, Here I am, with M.E, and rheumatica, and 2 young kids, picking up the pieces, AGAIN, because the three of you havent bothered. For that, I despise all of you. Ive told Joanne, and at least she now trying to step up and do the right thing. Late yes, but the help is appreciated regardless. With Chris, its a neccessity to keep him away, as things would be even more tense and stressed if he was in the picture, but you? Youve got no excuse. The sole reason that you havent seen mum is because of the fucking merc that you left her parking fines to deal with. You were quick enough to go around there when she gave you 5 hundred quid a couple of years back, or when you wanted to borrow £20 here and there. Shame on you David. Sorry, but 'not liking' mother is NO grounds for the way you are behaving. I dont fucking like her, never have much, but shes my mum. She gave me life. And for that reason, she deserves my help now.She deserves YOUR help now. The way she is now is heartbreaking, shes fucking brain damaged, bedridden, and very very scared and yet you still cant do the decent thing. Well, if you cant be bothered, thats your call, but let it be said now, that if you cant step up, as the ELDEST, then dont bother once shes dead. I dont want to know you anymore. I forgave you for everything as a kid, but I wont be doing it again. From now on, I have no brother, I wash my hands.
Comments
Thanks hon.Its not my greatest piece of writing, but its from the heart for sure. @captivated