done with my grandparents

trixiesmom8

So my daughter's first bday party is Saturday. I only invited a few people(36) lol so only like my parents(my dad, my stepmom, and mom) my grandparents(all sides) and a few close friends and family. Well my mom's parents called today, saying they aren't coming. They are down in FL with my aunt and uncle, we are in OH. They are coming home for thanksgiving, but can't come home two weeks earlier! They mentioned this is how its going to be every year. So I am done trying! They have seen her maybe 6x since she's been born. I give up, if they don't want to know their only great grandchild then its their fault not mine!

[Deleted User]

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MommyLovesSparkle

I know how you feel we threw my daughters first birthday in an indoor play place and my daughters grandma didn't want to take off her shoes (even though there was an entrance in the back where you didn't have to take off your shoes) so she just left without even seeing her or telling her happy birthday. Its also her first grandchild.

0811

I totally understand, my dad lives 5 miles from us and has been to see our daughter maybe 5 times, she is 15 months... im right there with u...theres no reason for it..

trixiesmom8

@thehumancrockpot yepp, we did! But she'll except us to come around for the holidays..I'm kind of over them and don't even want to be around them any more.
@mommylovessparkle wow! That's sad. How could you not want to spend that time with your grandchild?!
@0811 I just don't get how they don't want to be a part of her life?! They also wonder why she doesn't want to go to them when they actually do see her..and I'm like duh! You are NEVER around.

0811

I agree, we have both tried and tried for a while, now im just to the point of where im just done, if he dont want to know his beautiful grand daughter, fine. keep your head up and do what is best for u and your sweet baby girl!!!

0811

And at least they have seen your daughter more than my dad has seen mine and he is right around the corner

ripKaydence

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ripKaydence

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ripKaydence

Ive decided to keep my comments to myself. I dont want any drama.

0811

I would love to hear another's point of view as i have been battling this and what is the best.. @ripkaydence

ripKaydence

Honestly i think your being a tad selfish. Just bc there not coming early fpr her bday they will still.be there on Thanksgiving amd im vwey sure still wanna be apart of her life. Know how you feel shes your baby and youd think that the gparents would wanna be there but i mean maybe theres more to the story.

mommyof3girls

I agree... Maybe try not to write them off. They r the great grandparents, right? Ur pretty lucky to still have them around. R they super wealthy? If u know they r and can afford multiple trips then yes, I might feel upset too but if they r average folks (financially) then maybe they just can't afford it. Plus traveling gets harder the older u get. FL is a ways from Ohio. At least they will b there thanksgiving.

[Deleted User]

^^^^Agreed!!! My son will only meet one great grandmother out of the 8 great grandparents. Take the time you have with them and treasure it, because it most likely will not be alot. It is also a time when their kids are raised and they don't have to work, its their chance to enjoy life.

EzrasMommy

I agree as well. My son has seen his great grandmother and great great grandmother around 5 times. They live 3 hrs away but traveling is expensive and hard on the elderly. Maybe there is more to the story.

trixiesmom8

@ripkaydence @mommyof3girls @char @ezrasmommy they are originally from here, but lately have been living down there because my aunt and uncle had a new baby in July. When they do come home, they don't call and ask to see her, they only wanna get together when the whole family gets together. Knowing they will be home for the holidays they didn't ask to see her. I guess what bothers me more is they said this is how it'll be every year, so they are already telling me they won't try for years to come. I've tried not being selfish or angry, but when they start blaming me for my daughter not knowing them, I have a problem with it, they act like they are so great with her and are awesome great grandparents and they aren't. I still have my dad's parents, and my stepmom's parents, who absolutely love her. Also with the traveling, my gma came home for a weekend to see my sister in a play then went back down. They are financially fine, they come and go as they please, whenever they want, money isn't an issue. Heck, they pay for two houses, one here and one down there.

ripKaydence

Idk
Im an outsider looking in. Just go with the flow if they dont wanna make the extra effort tp see her then fine... but dont go out of yoir way to wtite them off.thats just putting more stress on you. Like you said she already has the other sets of GP so whenever these call or.whatever just be like when ever you wanna see her we will.be right here and.leave it as that.

My2Boys

I have to agree with ^^^ plus they are seeing there own grandchild down in Florida, who does take priority over a great grandchild. They probably feel that your parents are there for you and there grandchild so it is not that important. It is a long way to travel, and why would they come a whole extra two weeks early, that is a long time to wait for the holidays. My grandma does not come to any of her great grandchildrens things, she sees them all on holidays and when we go to see her, she does call every once and a while and ask about them. Traveling and even driving is harder on older people. She says she remembers how special it was to be a grandparent and have that bond, and now it is her time to watch her children get to be grandparents.

ripKaydence

I agree ^^^^^

perly

I wouldn't know what to say because it also depends on how your family is. I know if i were you i would be upset because i grew up with my grandparents, and up to this date i take them everywhere they need to go and i help them financially as well. None of their other grandchildren do any of that... so it would hurt me if they would not try to have some kind of contact with my kids.
If your relationship is or was close, which would take you to believe that they would want to be close to your kids, then i understand...

trixiesmom8

@ripkaydence sad part is, I already knew they weren't going to make it to begin with, but we still invited them anyways and I was fine with them not coming, BUT my problem is that they already said they aren't coming in future years.
@my2boys its my mom's side of the family who I had a falling out with about 5yrs ago, when my mom made up a bunch of stuff about my fiance, so things haven't been great but I have been making an effort for my daughter. My mom(their daughter) has seen my lo maybe 10x throughout this year, and honestly I'm being generous when I say 10. So watching her child be a grandparent doesn't really go far in this situation.
@perly we were close while I was growing up, but now we aren't because my mom has told them a bunch of lies over the last few years. It bothers me because they act like they are a huge part of her life and they aren't, obviously. It makes me sad/mad that since she is the first they aren't more involved since we were so close while I was growing up.

perly

@trixiesmom8 i understand hun. i know its hard and it hurts because its family and things are supposed to be different but you know how people are. Don't sweat it. the love your daughter receives from others is way better than what they can offer.

trixiesmom8

@perly thanks hun! That's why I am so grateful to be really close with my stepmom's family and they have all considered us part of the family since day one.