Single Mom. . Dad wants to give up rights.

GabbyDoo18

Alright, Now a few months ago I posted about how my bf now ex bf was basically trippin'. Welp, he has taken this to a whole nother level. He wants to give up his rights as a father just because I told him that he could not take Jackson to his parents house because he's too little, and the "man" and I use this term loosely knows nothing about how to care for him. When I tried to show him just the simplest things he wouldnt listen. He has now told his parents that I have banned him from seeing the baby which is entirely not true. I even invited him and his mother up to my house to see, and meet the baby, which is easier because they both have cars, and I do not. I told them that when Jack gets a little bit older that I will personally bring him down. Apparently that isnt good enough. Since Jackson was born there has been nothing but drama with him and his family. Rumors started, names have been slung at me and my son, and they wonder why I really am not in the rush to bring him down. I mean seriously why would I want to bring my "Bitch" "Ho" ass down there?! TreDan has not wanted Jackson since he was born. He found out that I named him after my parents and not after him. He took one look at Jackson, handed him off to one of my family members and left. After that I didnt hear from him until Jackson was about 5 or 6 days old. . He got on the internet and started trashing me, and my son. Saying that Jackson was a stupid name, and that his "next" son will have his name. . He made me feel as though my son was not good enough because he is named after my mother, Jackquline. . . He's held him twice, and changed one diaper which was with my help, bought a little bit of formula, and some wipes. What I do not understand is how can you look at my son, who is the most beautiful little boy in the world and just not want him because of his name, and because I said that he had to wait a while before he took him out. . I seriously dont get it. I look at Jackson and I feel the most overwhelming love. This is seriously breaking my heart ladies. What makes it so bad is that Jackson was planned! He wasn't an oopsie baby, we planned him, and now he all of a sudden doesn't want to be a dad?! REALLY? I mean he can hurt me all he wants, but when it comes to my son? No, thats the shit I don't like! I know, I'm perfectly capable of being both mommy and daddy to my son, but it would be nice if his actual father gave a damn. End Rant

On a brighter note, little boy started smiling.


How could someone look at this face and just not want him?

mommyof3girls

He's precious! Sorry u have to go thru all this garbage.

GabbyDoo18

@Mommyof3girls thank you. I mean I can't say I didn't see this coming because the boy left me when I was 37 weeks pregnant, but I never expected him to want to disown Jackson because of his name. I didn't expect for him to trash me like he has, I didn't expect for his family to blow my phone and fb up harassing me. They turned what was supposed to be beautiful into something ugly. I didn't get to enjoy my pregnancy because of Tre' and he ruined the birth of my first baby.

mommyof3girls

Let him sign over his rights! U and baby don't need a "man" like that. Just move on and make the best for u and ur beautiful little baby. And by the way, Jackson is a beautiful name!!!!

EzrasMommy

Let him! He doesn't seem like he deserves to be a father to your son.

monkey_girl

Get child support. My friends ex boyfriend gave up all parental rights and still pays for child support.

jules

Ok so this is what I would do. One weather we like it or not we are all effected by what people say about us. Therefore if I was you I would write letter to him and his parents a separate one. About pretty much what u just said. How u do not wish for them to b apart and how u know it is important for the father and grandparent to be part of his life. However you are not going to force your child in anyone. Therefore if his wish is to sign the right away then there is not much you can do other then continue being a wonderful mother and now father to your son. And in the letter to his parents u can also say that they are always welcome and you would love for them to be part of his life. I think if it was me I would need to do that so I know I did everything I could to reach out and they know where your heart stands. After that leave everything up to them. I see it as you doing your part but at same time gives you peace in your heart u will know from there where everyone stands. Honestly if he was to sign the rights away then be it. You or your son does not need someone that unstable it will only be harder on your little boy later on.

Wilsomom

I'm so sorry you're going through this. When I was pregnant with my third child my then husband & I separated. Once the baby was born he saw him once then left the state and didn't to talk to the 3 kids for over 4 years! I was so heartbroken that he didn't care & want to be a father to them. In the end my 3 oldest can't stand him now & finally put the blame on him. I think the letters sound like a great idea. I know it's hard to even fathom that he couldn't love your little baby like you do. Unfortunately that's how some people are...it's sad.

GabbyDoo18

@mommyof3girls it is a beautiful name, just as beautiful as the woman he was named after. I know Jack and I don't need him, but to want to give up his rights over a name? Eff outta here w/ that!

@EzrasMommy you're right, he doesn't deserve to be a father to my sweet boy.

@monkey_girl oh best believe I will.

@jules though the letters are a good idea his family is just a bunch of ghetto snobs. The letters wouldn't make much of a difference. There is no trying to be reasonable with these people.

@Wilsomom I just don't get it. How could you plan a life with someone and then they want nothing to do with it. Like really?! My son is absolutely beautiful, and is the sweetest baby ever. To look at him and not want him because he isn't a junior is absurd.

jules

Well if u know that already then it's just time to move on. Take what is and don't spend anytime worrying about him. Focus on you and your lo

mommyof3girls

I can't figure out how any parent could not want to b in their child's life. Over a name? I'm sure he has other issues (of his own) other then the name. Who knows. Reality is u r doing ur best and that's what matters. I'm sure his family is influencing him as well. Who knows but it really is too bad for ur little guy.

GabbyDoo18

@Mommyof3girls We were going down hill for a while before he decided to call it quits. I understand hating me and not wanting anything to do with me, but the baby is innocent. He shouldn't punish Jackson because he can't stand me. I mean damn I can't stand him either but I still tried to be nice, reasonable, and cooperate with him. Jack's a blessing, and though the name thing might seem like a really stupid reason to give up rights its a big part of why he is. He likes to be in control of everything. He has to have everything go his way and if not then he just doesn't give a damn. Jackson isn't a junior so he doesnt give 2 craps about him which is sad. His family is putting a whole bunch of bull in his head as well as him feeding them a whole bunch of it too. I see some restraining orders in the future if the harassment and threats don't stop soon.

Roxy

he's sad and he's suppose to b a man. he so gonna regret it later in life. stay strong u dnt need some one like that in ur guys life. Im sure it sucks cause every kid should have mommy and daddy, but sometimes just dnt end up like that at the end. sry hun hope things get better for u and ur little Guy BTW he's a cutie

GabbyDoo18

@Roxy I know he is supposed to be one, but is too busy being a child. He will regret not wanting to be in Jackson's life. Its all good though. . . I got this! Annd thank you He's mommy's handsome man!

perly

@gabbydoo18 if he wants to sign his rights over, let him do so. Tell him one last time, "We can arrange visitation until he is old enough to go with you, or you can stay out of his life. You choose" and let him make his decision. This baby is BEAUTIFUL and he does not need that kind of drama in his life, neither do you. I hope you get that sorted out for the best.

Mallory27

OMG how cute is Jackson! I understand what you mean. When I miscarried my oops in Feb of 2011 I was so upset that we tired again right away so its kinda like Makenzie was planned. When Makenzie was 3 months old her dad decided that he couldn't handle a family, cheated and asked for a break so I said no and he left. Even when he was around he never helped. I mean he slept through my whole labor and after she was born I didn't sleep for 3 days straight while in the hospital. Her dad asked to sign the rights over but I said no because his ass was going to pay me support. If he signed them over he wouldn't have to pay. He sees her less then once a month and its only for about an hour and hes ready to go.

Im sorry baby boys father is being a D head

GabbyDoo18

@perly Thanks for the advice, and I hope I do too.

GabbyDoo18

@Mallory27 What the hell is wrong with these "Men" I just dont get it. How the HELL can you look at your baby, something that you helped create and just not want them. It blows my mind!

Mallory27

I have no idea. I could never even imagin spending a day away from her. How these boys could just up and walk away is beyond me

jules

I'm really am sorry his acting like this... I can tell you one thing is your much stronger then I could ever be. Keep up the great work!

GabbyDoo18

@jules thank you. I use to not be this strong. He treated me horribly and I let him. I continued to go back each time because for some reason I thought I needed him. Towards the end of my pregnancy I just got tired of being treated like dirt, and after Jackson was born I finally realized that he's an ass and I don't need him. Though I hate this dude's guts I still believe that he should be in Jacks life. Even though he's terrible and doesn't deserve it. It took a lot to get where I am today. I look at my son and I know that I have to be strong for him. . Even though I rather crawl under a rock somewhere and just hide. .

jules

Well good for you! How long has it been since you guys broke up if you don't mind me asking? And how long were u together for. I've been with Scarlett dad for 2 1/2 years and last year has been crazy since so many changes have happened so I'm going things will get back to normal once he starts his new job.

lilloulou

My opinion he don't deserve the right to be little mans dad, I know where ur coming from except my story is a lil different the Guy I got preggo from we never officially dated cause at the time he was off with his girl and I had just broken up with my bf I had known his for 23 years we grew up together but things happens we had sex once and now I have my daughter, he wanted me to abort cuz at the time he had a 3 month old lil girl and his gf was prego too but by her ex my daughter looks just like him, me and my ex worked.things out and we have been together since he has willingly taken care of my lo since day one I have not seen or heard from her Bio dad since she was 2 months old and swears she is not his but my lo and his oldest lil girl look identical and since he denies my child he lost all rights to her or he willingly gave up his rights I say good my girl has the best daddy, u don't need someone in ur child life is gonna disrespect them before they can even understand who they even really r but ur son knows u and that's all he needs to know. But of course this is just my opinion

GabbyDoo18

@jules we were together almost three years. We were together since our senior year in high school. I've known him my entire life though. He use to be amazing. So caring and sweet. Then he lost his mind. Started cheating and became verbally abusive, and controlling. . He broke up with me right before jack was born so about 3 or 4 weeks. I was sad at first then I was like wtf! why am I morning his sorry ass!?! Then I got pissed. Now my hate for him burns like the fires of a thousand suns. Lol

GabbyDoo18

@lilloulou no he doesn't deserve it. Not at all.

jules

Oh wow so this is pretty new..plus his still young I bet in few years if he grows up he will regret it. But some people never grow up. It kinda sounds like his going though a stage but taking it to the next level. Like I had high school sweet heart and sometimes they get to the point where they just become selfish and want to be in there own and see what else is out there. That's what my ex did we been broken up 4 years now though and after like 3 months he was soo sorry but I obviously didn't care because he was the same as what u are discerning abusive verbally and sometimes it would become physical he became very rude in general and careless about everyone only cared about what he wanted. He regrets soo bad ever doing that to me but by the time my heart was healed from everything his done I was already moved on. He still till this day tries to make it work but I'm a mother now and have my own family. But long story short I think it's a stage in his young life and he will regret it but sadly there's not much you can do. I think it's great your able to focus on what is important.