The baby daddy is back?!

Val

ok well as many know ive ttc with mybf now of almost 6 yrs
i do have a 6 yr from a previous relationship--
anyway, ive always had some type of communication with the bd of course cus of my son.
he has a lil 2 yr from the realtionship he was in
to make a long story short he enough of the drama with his gf-- dumped her n now is Trying to live life with out her
now hes been talking to me-- cool-- more than just hows my son when can i see him etc.. i had an hr convo with him yesterday about just life in general i made him laugh he made me laugh n so on..
i got home to my boyfriend n everything he did and said irritated me!? why?
was it because i was talking to my sons dad fine? do i still have feelings for him? whats going on

ExcitedForOctober

Eeeeeh, its possible your talk lit up some old feelings in you. Do u still have feelings?

Val

No that im aware of lmbo--aghh----
i think this "talking" might be a bad idea, maybe we should just keep it the way it was?

ExcitedForOctober

Yes I think that's a good idea too. Just think how it would make u feel if your bf was having those kinds of talks with one of his exes.

jules

I think your just going through a hard time right now since your trying to have baby and all. And then it have u memories and plus you're probably feeling like maybe u can get the baby with ur ex since it worked bf. It's a lot emotionally and u have to remember that u two will always have history but u need to sit down and think why your not together anymore on the first place and why you been in this relationship for last 6 years. It's not good to keep doing this to yourself, your child, or your bf now. Soo it's time for some thinking and a lot of it. what is best for everyone. And it's hard but try not be too emotional BC if your bf now finds out things can change fast as I'm sure he wouldn't like u talking to him about that kind of stuff. I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes and that's what I would do before things get out of your control ya know.

Val

@jules- you hit it right on the spot! yes your right. thank you thats what i need to hear. maybe u are right, maybe cus im having hard times ttc with my bf now is making me feel a lil blah about us-- But i do love him. He took me and my son in.
@excitedforOctober- yes id be going crazy!! aghh--id be furious

ExcitedForOctober

It takes a GOOD man to do that and remember there is a reason you and your sons father did not work out.

jules

I'm glad I can help and I agree with @excitedforoctobet as well. Everything happens for reason. I used to go though times like this when my bf and I would go through something hard I always talked to my ex and after some time I realized that doesn't solve anything just makes things more complicated.

Val

@ExcitedForOctober-- & thats where my conscious falls thru-- did it not work because there was a reason? or beacuse i was only 17??? did i not know anything about relationships than?

ExcitedForOctober

I mean yes that's a good possibility but what if you did take a chance and then things didn't work out again and u lost a good man in your bf, I don't think that's a chance worth taking. I think like @Jules said, that your emotions are taking the best of you right now.

veevee

This happened to me before. I was on Facebook when my ex from 6 years ago, we almost lasted a year before we broke up and then we were on and for two years.

Now I'm in a relationship with a wonferful man. Our 1yr anniversary was in November.

Anyway early this year my ex hit me up on FB and the conversation was just right, we laughed and brought up old memories. I told him about me, he told me about him. He had a lot of bad things going on. After our chat on FB. Things felt off with me and SO. He irritated me all day and it was just different. Then later on I realized that it was chat with my ex. That chat brought back old memories of good times we had, but then I started to think about the bad times, which out weighed the good times. The lying, cheating, me crying more than I should. Then I remembered why we broke up. I started remembering what made me fall for my new SO. Then things fell back in place.

@Val its just the memories that got you feeling this way.

Val

@veevee yu hit right on the spot-- my sons dad had been part of my life since i was 13 Im 24 now over 10 yrs-- ive alot of good memorries but yes the bad did out weight the good--Maybe it is memories. idk-- im so confused becuase theres thing about my bf now that im putting up with things i didnt with my baby daddy why? aghh--- im just playing it by ear, rolling with the flow =( i guess im really liking the attention im getting the lil flirtious txt i get from the ex i havent got one of those from bf in ages =/

veevee

I know exactly how you are feeling. You and your BF are in a rut due to TTC, its draining and the new attention your ex is giving you is something you haven't had in a while. So of course it feels great. But remember why you broke up and why you are no longer with him. You have boyfriend now and at 24 its hard to find a guy that's wants to have kids at that age, let alone wants to TTC. I put up stuff with my BF that I didn't with my ex, but that's life and how different relationships work. Talk to you BF about bring some romance back. Me and my BF we still text each other flirty text and sometimes flirty pics, no nudity. When he's out with his sometimes he'll send a text asking how I'm doing.

Trust me when I say I went through what you are going through, but eventually I realized I had to cut the ex off all together cold turkey. Stopped answering his text, deleted him off of Facebook. Work things out with BF. Now I can talk to my ex without those feelings coming back.