A quick rant

veevee

Its gets to me that a lot of people think I should wait to get married before me and SO TTC. They say what if he leaves you after the baby or during pregnancy. Then what?

Marriage doesn't guarantee he will stay. He can just as well leave me while we're married. So what the difference? Except the fact that I will have a ring on my finger?

I know there have probably been post like this before. Its just irks me. Especially coming from a women who have 3 kids by three different fathers and only married one of them — The second father — and then divorced.

The fact that I'm iffy about marriage anyway and don't see much of a purpose for it. Though SO does want to get married, yes to me, just not now. Because he knows I'm not really set on the concept. Yet. He's "working" on me.

perly

I know it gets to you, but ignore it.
People are used to seeing a couple get married then start having kids, but it doesn't necessarily have to be like that. Marriage is a lot more than having kids, and people don't see that. Get married when you feel comfortable to do so, because you are running on your own time not anybody else's

jules

Omg I hate that. I'm with you. I soo much crap and looks because Marquis and I are not married and I want another and we live together. I have ring we bought he hasn't proposed and it's in the box still. But I don't want to rush him since his been hurt and therefor been divorced. But I agree married or not people if they want it to be done will just leave a piece of paper is not going to make them stay. Plus wanting to have children although it's good to have the parents shouldn't stop you. I mean some people never meet the right person therefore they adopt that doesn't change the happiness of that child or how much the mother or father loves that child. Soo don't worry about what people say although it is annoying I agree.

natashalynn

Super annoying. I'm not married, but by law I am common law, since we live together, plus have a baby together. Marriage isn't any different than how I live now, except I don't have a ring, and my tax forms all say common law, rather than married.

Funny side story, my boyfriend/common law husband is a salesman, so he took a bunch of his clients for lunch a while back, and while talking about me, he reffered to me as both his girlfriend and wife, and at the end of lunch, one of the guys pulled him aside to tell him he shouldn't be so open about his mistress. Haha so he had to back track with everyone and explain I was both girlfriend and wife lol

jules

@natashalynn Marquis does that all the time. With people that don't know us he always says wife but all our good friends it's gf soo everyone thinks we got married and just don't want to tell anyone lol.

Mijita

You'll find that many people defer their own fears and desires onto others. Look at the source and you'll note that they are wanting what they ”think” is the ideal and perfect scenario. Most mean well, but fail to understand we all have different missions and values in life. What is important to you, may not even register on my radar. I wouldn't waste too much energy on turning this into a bad thing, but rather take it as a compliment, in that they think they think they are giving you the best and valued options.

captivated

I think marriage is pointless. It is nothing but a piece of paper. Screw them and their misguided opinions!

veevee

@Mijita I can't take it as good advice because its coming from a woman who loves to start drama.

Its just gets on my nerves. I never wanted to get married. The idea has always been "meh" to me. My SO is the one that wants to get married. He is trying to get me into the idea.

It shouldn't matter if me and my boyfriend aren't married as we try to make a baby. Why is it their business?

Roxy

OMG me and hubby been togather 8 years and still no wedding. I never talk about it well cause I feel when he's ready hell ask I wont make some one marry me well any ways people are always asking whens the wedding or are u married yet it bothers me ugh...... I don't see what's the differents married or not were still togather either way but just ignore those people your fine : )