i need help bad

Roxy

Im a stay at home mom. my hunny works fours days out of the week. so he gets out of the house and social lies with people. I'm home all day doing the same thing every day. just me and my son untill daddy comes home from work. its like I miss him when he's gone but then ill start being a bitch I'm on my period and I'm even more evil on it. but I hate treating him so mean. he knows how to deal with me but one day I know he's gonna break he gets me mad my son is only 13 months he needs me to do every thing for him then when hunny comes home its like take my boots off serve me water do this do that like wtf u have hands its like he can't do nothing for him self I tell him but hell just look at me like if this is my duties it makes me feel bad but fuck when do I get a break I know he's tired but y doesn't he see that I'm tired too. like I'm I being selfish like is my job as a mother easy and I'm just being a beach like I'm getting frustrated I need in puts like how can things get better advice needed

BTW.... ladies do u do every thing for ur man????

perly

My hubby works nights, and he never has a day off. I like to have things done for him, just because he works long nights and i know he is tired but then again it annoys me that he doesn't offer to help. The one thing that gets to me like nothing else is the fact that he can never find anything, especially his own things. He doesn't know how to look for stuff. If i say "babe hand me the salt please. Its in the cabinet first shelf" he will open the cabinet door and if the salt is not right in front then he can't find it. He forgets where he leaves his wallet, his watch, his car keys and he gets mad at me because he can't find his stuff.
Sometimes i wonder if i've made him useless because he cannot find ANYTHING without me.
I really don't know what to say, because i have tried everything to get through him and he doesn't get it. I've sat down and had calm talks about it, i've cried about it to him, i've yelled at him about it... but i guess nothing gets through to him.

Roxy

@perly OMG my man does that to he can never find any thing I tell him look and u well find it. and ill find it right n he's face. it has to b women do so much or every thing for there men and they get use to it something is the problem here ugh men

natashalynn

I do the cooking (usually) & the cleaning. But when he gets home, there's no way in hell I'm letting him tell me what to do. I may grab him a drink for dinner, but he's just as likely to grab me something. He always loads and unloads the dishwasher, puts away clothes, tidies up our daughter's clothes/toys. The way I see it, we both have a full time job, so when he's home, we share work pretty much 50/50. And we both try to go out if the house with friends 1-3x a month.

Roxy

@natashalynn yea the differents is I dnt work. or I'm sure hell help to or ill really go crazy LOL

natashalynn

Sorry I should of clarified. I work as a stay at home mom. Why the hell should his job go from 8-5, Mon-Friday and mine go from 7-830. Sunday-Saturday. If he's home, and not really sick, he's helping out.

[Deleted User]

@Natashalynn its the same way here. I cook he unloads and I reload the dish washer, he helos put the clothes away, he takes his turn cleaning up lo, and he has to change at least one diaper at night. He knows not to try and tell me what to do. If he wants something he will ask and he says thank you. But I grew up with my dad whistling for my mom when ever he wanted anything like that will start a fight.

ashley_smashley

@natashalynn yes! Agreed! It's the same way in my home!

natashalynn

@char whoo boy! He'd better start running if he were ever to whistle at me to do something.
@ashley_smashley its the only way I wouldn't lose my mind

EzrasMommy

@perly my boyfriend does the same thing! It drives me INSANE!!!! He thinks the object should jump out and say "HERE I AM!" I have to help him find everything. And then he'll do something like start to change a diaper and forgot the wipes so asks me to go get them. Seriously its not that freaking hard.

perly

@roxy @ezrasmommy my hubby helps when it comes to household stuff. He'll help me wash clothes, he gets his own drink when its dinner time. He helps with dishes and cleaning up. Its just getting him to start. For example he'll say "I'll help you sweep and mop. Where's the broom?"
And I'll say "where its always been babe, in the closet in the laundry room" so he'll go, open the door and say "oh, umm its not here." It gets to me so bad, especially because i know its in there. So i have to stop doing what im doing to go find the damn broom.

He helps with stuff, he just cannot find things. He doesn't know how to look for anything. He expects things to come right to his hands.

natashalynn

Lol @perly that might just be a man thing. My nd does that too. Drives me bonkers. I just keep repeating where it is till he finds it. "Where's the salt?" "Cabinet to the right of the stove" "where?' "Bottom shelf...probably behind the vanilla....in a clear square bottle...with a silver lid....marked salt...." Lol he eventually finds it.

[Deleted User]

@natashalynn Marked salt that is to funny.

perly

@natashalynn that may be, but uugghh lol. I wonder how he survived all those years before he met me.

natashalynn

@perly his mom? Haha I know that's how my bf did it

perly

@natashalynn i doubt it lol. his mom is not very motherly lol.

natashalynn

@perly haha just lucky he found you then I guess!!

Janet_2011

My husband works 6 days a week from 6 am - 4-5 pm , theres no way in hell i do everything for him, i have 2 kids to take care of the whole day , i do not need a big kid as well, he actually helps me when he comes home,if i havent been able to do the laundry or vacuum because the girls have been bad all day, he actually does them. he washes the dishes before going to work if i didnt do them before going to bed (i usually do unless im really really tired) the only thing that he really asks to be ready when he gets home is dinner, and is understandable so i cook everyday unless im dying in bed or something, and if thats the case he doesnt mind cooking. My hubby isnt perfect but he is more than i can ask for.

perly

Oh my god, my grandma is horrible at that. She does EVERYTHING for my grandpa. He is capable of doing almost everything on his own, but she still likes to do things for him. She helps him shower, she helps him put on his clothes. He doesn't know what its like to put on his own socks or shoes cause she always does that for him. I get onto her about that because sometimes she complains about how hard it is, but its her fault because she won't let him do anything for himself. I told my husband "I love you, and don't get me wrong i'll wipe your ass when you're old, but only if you can't do it yourself for whatever medical reason that may be. Other than that, expect nothing less or more than what we have going on right now." lol.

SalasMommy

I know exactly how you feel my husband works 3am_8pm. I wake up at 2 make him breakfast and lunch for work. I wash, cook, clean, take care of the kids everyday. He recently started having weekends of and he helps with letting me sleep but i have to wake up cook breakfast so him n my son could eat n change my son. I also have to clean and cook lunch n dinner even on his days off. I also have a newborn so every three hours im up with him. When he gets home from work i dont ask him to help with the kids as i know the time he gets off n the time he needs to leave for work leaves him absolutely no time for sleep. Anyway by the time he comes home my son is fed and bathed, house is clean, dinner is served, his clothes and towel are in the restroom, and the bed fixed for him to sleep and his clothes are washed and on the dresser for his next days work. He showers, eats, and then off to sleep he goes and my day starts all over again.. I understand exactly how you feel but i have my friends come iver when im not too tired and socialize of course not letting it get in the way of house work and before i gave birth my son had play dates. I keep myself busy if i am alone all day (before my son of course im too tired now) i would put music on clean do what i have to do and try to make it fun dancing with my son, doing my hair, putting makeup on etc. my son is too little to be left with a baby sitter but when he is at least three months i told my hubby i want a day for us to out its a waiting game now

ExcitedForOctober

I do most of the heavier cleaning like cleaning the bathroom, sweeping and mopping and cleaning the kitchen but only because I am a clean freak and like it done my way. He does wash dishes, puts his own laundry to wash and always cooks breakfast for us on weekends. To me things should be 50/50 even if you are a SAHM. Alot of people don't understand what a fulltime job that is all on its own. If he doesn't come home and take baby off your hands for a while so u can relax then he should atleast be helping you out and not asking to be waited on.

SalasMommy

Oh and my husband cant ever find anything etheir i know the exact place of everythimg amd literally have to specify what it is next to where what color blah blah blah so in his lunch box i put his keys his badges his glasses his notepad anything he might need for the day. He looses everything! And for my son i have to give him the clothes he is going to change him in and hand him cream, wipes, diapers, everything you name it. Smh.

Roxy

@natashalynn oh okay lol
@perly wonder y men do this
@Janet_2011 and were planning on baby # 2 scares me kinda if hes not helping now wonders how it well b later
@perly sounds like my friend thats how she caters to her husband and she has 3 kids i dnt know how she does it
@SalasMommy you sound like a gd wify lol
@ExcitedForOctober thats how i am too but i have slacked sense having my baby on cleaning but i do like every thing my way somethimes i expect my hubby to things my certain way which gets me upset when he dnt i think i have a proublem with that he does play with my son and i agree the 50/50 but what borthers me the most i want him to do hes own things at times dont get me wrong when i ask for stuff for me he does it but he ask all the time ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

BTW I TELL HUBBY HAPPY WIFY MAKES A HAPPY HOME LOL

SalasMommy

A tired wifey! With bags and huge heaches from no sleep. Lol

Roxy

@SalasMommy lol

EzrasMommy

@perly my bf is pretty good about helping me clean too. As long as I get all the supplies for him ! Lol

ashley_smashley

If he doesn't help now, it probably not going to help when there are 2...you sure you want to have another?

Roxy

@ashley_smashley he's been doing OK I had a talk with him. yes definitely want another baby. I had a ruff time having my lil angle. it took us six long years and then I had my son. I'm getting old and I just want to b able to have another baby I dnt want being on BC to mess my hormones up which was the reason I couldn't have babies. I love kids and he better help lol

sehra4177

@perly I think we have the same man lol. Mine is notorious for losing keys, wallet, anything. The says I moved it but when its found its usually in his dirty jeans pocket or in his car not mine.

I've been out of work since Jun and I do everything for him. Now that being said when he was on unemployment he did everything while I worked. Now tho he does give me most Sundays to sleep in a little so that's my morning off I guess. But he works second shift gets home at midnight and then stays up til like 3 then sleeps til about a half hour before he goes to work. That we def need to work on.