How to teach my son right from wrong...

edited January 2013 in Parenting
My son is starting to be mean and hit sometimes i tell him no no but he doesnt stop. Im not sure how to get him to stop. Im guess im just wondering how everyone else deals with it. I mean i was brought up getting my butt whooped and ive tryed that, its not working and makes me feel bad..

Comments

  • I've seen some people say just redirect their attention to something else and I guess slowly they forget about that habit. Good luck!
  • I'll try anything, his hitting is really starting to hurt lol @jules
  • Ya they are strong little things :)
  • My son is really aggressive and hits me too. He bites as well. I either smack his hand, grab him by both hands look him in the eye and say no in a firm voice, or I put him on time out in his crib. Good luck because it's insanely frustrating.
  • How old is your son? One thing i will say, and its ok if you disagree but you hitting him will not stop him from hitting you. By spanking him, even lightly, he is understanding that hitting is actually ok which defeats the purpose.
  • Time out, seriously it works. One minute for each year of life, (at five the time can start to increase more as needed) under 16 months just face him away from you and gently hold his arms down for 30 seconds. He may still do it when angry or wanting attention but it shows him it is not a game (especially not one he wants to play)

    My daughter is almost two she will still try to hit or bite, or another bad behavior, and all I have to do is ask her if she needs a time out. Normally that is enough to calm her.
  • My LOL is 17 months.. I redirect her most of the time. Lately I've been talking to her about being mean and nice. She was breast feed so she puts her hand down my shirt. Lately she's been grabbing my nipple and squeezing it or pulling it.

    I really want to pop her on her butt but I know it would be out of anger because the shit hurts... And she knows she's doing wrong because she laughs when she does it...

    I started to talk her about being mean and nice. I tell her she's being mean and I don't let her stick her hand down my shirt for comfort when she's mean.

    I think she's catching on... I also tell her when she's being nice as well and give her hugs so she can see the difference.
  • Redirection and consistency!

    For the record I don't believe in hitting a child bc they hit you. How does that teach them not to hit? Children learn from example, and if you hit it sends the message that hitting a ok bc mommy does it!
  • Im trying to figure it out to. I've tried redirection and it takes his attention away just for the moment then he's right back to hitting. I've tried the firm voice and he smacks harder. My oldest never did this, so im lost
  • @Frantastic my son is getting to be really bad with the hitting he thinks its all fun and games. He has even started hitting the baby sitters TV and picking on her dogs.. Not good!
    @perly Yeah I know im realizing that the way i learned disaplin inst the best way for him to learn it. I just dont know what to do now though. Oh and he is 14 months
    @Máthair I will try that i hope he can relize its not a joke or game he deff thinks hitting is a game right now.
    @YNVTish Im trying that now. He just hits when i redirct or tell no but i need to stay firm.
    @ashley_smashley i agree but for some reason i just went old school the way i was taught. It doesnt work for him though so thats why i made the thread.
    @Sand3 Exactly what im going threw!!

  • @alwayzbeenurz2008 he is old enough for time outs then. When he hits you, come down to his level, hold both his hands and say no firmly. Then (without letting go) tell him that is not ok and that you will put him on time out if he hits you again.(let go off hands)
    If he hits you again, sit him down in a place away from any toys or any kind of entertainment. Place him there for a little over a minute. The first couple of times he will get up and run somewhere else or maybe even hit you again. Don't talk to him or anything, just get him and bring him back to his time out. Keep doing that until he stays there for the whole time assigned. When his time is up, go get him and let him know that hitting is not ok and that he cannot do that anymore.

    This will take A LOT of time, but if you are consistent it will work. I know it probably even sounds harsh because he is so little, but this way he will understand that hitting is bad and he needs to stop doing that. Redirection is also a good way of getting him to stop, but i don't know for sure how long it'll work for and if it'll get the point across. Because overall, what you want is for him to understand that what he is doing is bad that way he can stop. BUT, maybe someone who has tried redirection and has been successful can explain exactly how to do it so you can try that first. Im pretty sure it also comes down to being consistent with it.
  • @perly we are going to start trying that. Thank you very much for your advice! :)
  • @alwayzbeenurz2008 you're welcome and good luck! I hope it works out. I know it can be stressful, but not impossible.
  • when my daughter bites me i bite her back *not hard of course* but enough to let her know its not ok thats how i got her to stop pinching
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