I just had a blow out with my boys again, omg I hate this!

WilsomomWilsomom
edited March 2013 in Parenting
I'm too upset to go into details right now, but man this is getting old. I caught them trying to sell a car stereo to the guy that was selling dope to my son before. (like the dude was on his way here & they were doing it outside behind my back) Needless to say there was a big argument between the 3 of us & not good things said in both directions. WHEN IS THIS EVER GOING TO END!?!?!

Comments

  • RoxyRoxy
    sounds like a stolen stereo and sounds like there trading it for drugs. they need a big scared there never gonna learn I'm sry ur going threw this
  • natashalynnnatashalynn
    Can you call the cops and show them the stereo? I agree. Sounds stolen.
  • natashalynnnatashalynn
    There will be an end to this, they're just seeing if they can do it again. Testing limits once more. Stay strong, and do what you can/have to, to punish them. They need to know you're serious!
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    @roxy @natashalynn The stereo wasn't stolen, it was my son's car stereo that he bought a while back & never used yet. I just don't know what he was selling it for. I'm going into their school right now to talk to their coordinated care counselor. I hope she can help me.
  • natashalynnnatashalynn
    Good luck, keep us updated!
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    The counselor brought in my older son & talked with both of us....she's amazing! She's really helping me to see where I screwed up over the years & is helping me try to fix it. My son, however, isn't too receptive yet because he doesn't trust me. I can understand that. This is going to be a long road to recovery.
  • Math_MommyMath_Mommy
    Do you have any tips for a mom of a boy? (I was the only child to a single mom; so, I think I have the girl-stuff down...I think)
  • Kimberly4411Kimberly4411
    How'd you screw up? I don't mean to be rude but please share!
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    edited March 2013
    @math_mommy Well, I've made a lot of mistakes, but I do know good communication is key. That's where I screwed up @Kimberly4411 . When my oldest son was little his older sister used to pick on him a lot & I guess he felt like I let her get by with it & didn't stand up for him. Then when I got remarried & started having more kids I got busy. My hubby got injured & was in a wheel chair for a year, then we started a small business so he could manage it. Basically I knew he was building a wall, but I didn't know how to fix it... I tried, but failed, then as he got older I just let it go thinking he was more mature & had gotten over it. (wrong!) Since our communication was low, he didn't understand my side of it either, & didn't think about what I've had to deal with. So....Keep up on communication with your kids! Talk about what's going on in their lives, ask them how they feel about the family & what you could improve. And do it while they're young & receptive! My son is older now & doesn't trust sharing those answers with me, but we are working on it, slowly & painfully. I hope that helps, it's kind of hard to sum up years worth of relational problems in one paragraph! Lol :)
  • perlyperly
    @wilsomom don't be too hard on yourself. Remember, kids aren't born with a "how to.." manual so we do what we think is right. The important thing is that you have noticed that some of the things you did were not the best and you are willing to fix them.
    My dad has never attempted to have a good relationship with me, and now years later, he still feels like we(brother and i) should walk around behind him kissing his ass just because he is our father. He has never taken responsibility for his actions and now he has two kids who will be teens in a few years and he is still the same kind of parent he was to my brother and i.
  • Kimberly4411Kimberly4411
    Thank you for sharing! What matters now is that you care enough to want to change, they'll one day see that you are wise and was only trying to do what is best for them.
    You are a super string woman! You can get through this :)
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    @Kimberly4411 Thank you! :)

    @perly Yeah I'm trying not to be too hard on myself... I mean I did the best I knew how at the time & at least we're working on it. I at least see some hope. :) I'm sorry about your dad, I don't want to be like that, I want my kids to know I at least tried to do my best.
  • perlyperly
    @wilsomom that's the best thing you can do. I mean my dad is a good man. He is simple and humble, he just isn't a great dad. He could be better.
  • Math_MommyMath_Mommy
    If this helps, all the people I know as adults who grew up in large families are incredibly well adjusted (in comparison to the adults I know who were only-children or one of two or three) and have an incredible amount of respect for their moms (especially) and dads (if they had the type of dad who put his best energy into raising the kids). I had a sociology professor at Penn state that was one of ten kids. When I asked her about her feelings in regard to being brought up in such a large family, she said, "the one-on-one time with our parents was limited...but, there was definitely enough love to go around". I guess my point is that you do the best with what you are given, and your kids will eventually realize and respect you for doing your best. You have kept fighting for your kids (their safety, their best-interest, and their futures)....they'll see it more clearly when hormone-induced defiance isn't clouding their judgement so much!

    Btw, I was an only child to a single mom who didn't start working until I was 8. I acted out WAY worse than your boys. So any guilt you feel about wishing you had done stuff differently is just wasted energy...(Now, if I could only take my own advise...)
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    @Math_Mommy Wow, what an encouraging word & an answer to prayer! I have been doubting myself lately & getting overwhelmed wondering if our large family is doing a disservice to the kids. I've never felt that way before, but I've been getting a lot of negative comments & I guess I've been letting it get to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage me!
  • Math_MommyMath_Mommy
    No problem, you are definitely way too hard on yourself (but I always say, a hallmark of excellent parenting is constantly seeking to improve said parenting). 85% of teenagers are monsters in one way or another...I'm terrified by the prospect that my kids will be anything like their dad and I were as teens (I have some ominous karma looming in the near future!)
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    @Math_Mommy yeah, I do tend to be hard on myself...& ur right, teens are scary. Lol I was pretty awful myself, just in different ways. I hope at least some of the rest of mine are easier. Lol My oldest wasn't too bad, so I know there's hope. :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    @wilsomom I never messed with drugs but if my parents knew what I was doing behind the library they would have dropoed over dead. Of course I did it bc they controlled my every move outside of school, and that was how I took control over something. I Agree with @math_mommy most teenagers are little demons. Just keep doing ur best:)
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    @char thanks, I'm trying! :)

    Me & the older one went to lunch after school today! It was nice just spending time together. I didn't talk about anything serious, I just kept it light & fun. I think if we start doing this weekly it will help things a lot.
  • perlyperly
    edited March 2013
    @wilsomom
    This reminded me of you...

    http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y401/ncanales14/11d0fc5390dbfa0540a271b0ed9a55b3_zps3ac4cbad.jpg
  • erkiehadagirlerkiehadagirl
    Ya know my son is only 9 but we have had a difficult few years and im always so hard on myself because I think its all my fault I had him at 15 and have done the best I can but had more melt downs then ever I just didnt know what to do at times and still struggle. Reading all the positive things in your threads that others say makes me think im not the only one and were all just doing are best! Stay strong mommas your doing great
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    @perly I love that, I hope it becomes true! :)
    @erkiehadagirl I started having a rough time with my oldest son around that age too. We are definitely all trying to do our best. It must have been really difficult having a child so young!
  • erkiehadagirlerkiehadagirl
    It was mostly scary...I wasnt around family living with his dads family all alcoholics and his dad never did a thing it was really rough I just dont want everything to affect his future.I worry non stop
  • WilsomomWilsomom
    Oh wow, that's definitely scary! Just keep doing your best & It will work out.
  • perlyperly
    :)
Sign In or Register to comment.

© Vanilla Keystone Theme 2024