My mil is nuking futs!!

mummy_to_be

Ok so from the beginning. She has 3 sons. One has had his car defeated around 8 times and has now lost his licence. He is also a father at 18 which his mum looks after the baby she comes to stay. The mil has this child 2 days a week so the 18 year old mum can party 5 nites a week (her parents have the baby the other days). She thinks it's ok because she is a teenager and needs to party. Her second son is a major pot head. I've recently found out he occasionally does ice too. And her third son (my partner) was a pill addict (I stopped him) and then went onto weed (he stopped around 4 months ago). He also got a car and motorbike before we were together which was a total of $22,000 he loaned. After about 6 months he just stopped paying like his mum does and then it got repossessed. 4 years later I finally convinced him to pay it back and clear his name. Just incase your thinking "it's probably just the kids fault" I'll explain what she is like. My partner bought a car off hit brother owing him 1500. Tax time comes, his mum is a secretary in a law firm, yes, not trailer trash like you would think, anyway so she offered to do it. After 6 months of begging her she finally gets around to it after lying a few times and sayingshe had aalready done it! He has a linked bank account with her by the way. As she was living with his brother who he owed the money to, when his tax FINALLY came in she withdrew the money and told my partner she had passed it on. Until six months later when his brother asked when he was going to be payed back. Turns out she spent it...

mummy_to_be

So anyway. I was 6 days apart in pregnancy than his brothers x. She coppied everything I did. But she had her mum take out a loan and buy everything where as I struggled paying it off. Eventually she started having sex with some other guy and the mil asked me to pretend to remain friends with her and get all the dirt. So I did. This girl was horrible!!!! The mil had bought our babies all these clothes but I found out I was having a girl before she did so I decided to wait for her and do the right thing. Next thing you know, she took all the girl clothes. It wasn't until a few months ago that I found out that the mil GAVE all those clothes to her and decided not to give anything to my baby as she was pissed off at me. Turns out the little tart told the mil I had been saying stuff about her and the stupid mole believed her. Hello she is carrying your grandchild, fucking your son AND another guy... anyway from then on she was distant (I didn't know there was a reason as I only found that out a few months ago). She attended both our births. Took around 200 photos at the tarts birth, before and after. Not even one at mine. She left about 10 minutes after I gave birth not even holding her grandchild. She stayed all day with the tart. My baby is 10 months old now (same as her cousin). There are around 200 photos of her cousin, and 2 of her. I won't let her mind my daughter anymore because she always ends up having the other baby and leave

mummy_to_be

my baby on the floor by herself. She stood my daughter up against the furniture the day after she started doing it and left her to play with the other baby. She fell back and hit her head on a wooden chair. She just yelled out to me to come get her. Didn't even put her favorite grandchild down to attend mine. One day when I was over visiting she pumped some Johnson's liquid body wash on to a face washer and gave it to my daughter to suck on. Now I'm a wimp so I said, isn't that bad and she said no they love it!! She is also an alcoholic but you wouldn't pick it as she is a legal secretary and she looks quiet sophisticated. I was minding a baby one day and she picked it up and dropped it... she has also tried many drunken times to holdmy cbaby but I just walk off! I gave her one last chance to have our baby and had my partner tell her that if she even has a sip of alcohol that she won't be having our daughter again. 6pm came and I found out that she had already had 2 full glasses of wine.

mummy_to_be

We went and picked her up. From then I have been receiving abusive messages which I gave replied please stop messaging me. I even tried to call once to sort it out but I guess she is too gutless to talk. Me and my partner broke up over it as I didn't feel like he was supporting me in this. He is a mummy boy! So he is back at home for the minute and it's done him a world of good. He hates it and is starting to see how evil she is. She has stolen more money off him too. HELLO get your bank accounts unlinked! He had her last week end (she was only 9months) and that stupid mole Fed her egg. Knowing full well that I hadn't tried it yet and I was maid of honour in my sister's wedding. She was probably hoping that she would end up in hospital and that I would have to leave the wedding! I took these messages to the police station and they have told me to get a restraining order.
So this is where I am now. I have a court appointment in 2 hours. I don't want to go though with this because then she will try to file for visitation which she doesn't give a shit about, it would be just to spite me. And then I'm on a pension being a single mum in Australia. How it works is if your partner moves in then you have to report it and your pension is taken off you. Well my partner moved in and I didn't report it as he was paying so much back to so many people that he gave me nothing and ended up borrowing 2500 off me so if I had reported it, we wouldn't have had any money at all. I payed all the rent and bills and food except the last couple months when he stared putting in. She is now telling me that she isigoing to dob me in and have me done for fraud

mummy_to_be

I won't go to jail but I will have to pay back every cent I received while he was living here even though he payed nothing. I'll be out on the street with two kids. I'm worried that even if I don't get the restraining order that she will do it anyway. She is never seeing her grandchild again and my partner wants to move back in with me. Were moving away so she can say goodbye to her son too.

JoshnEviesmum

sounds like an arsehole. If she wants to report you for fraudulently claiming a pension, make it known that you will A) be reporting her for thert of your mans tax money
fraudulently completing somebody elses taxes for personal gain
C) aiding and abbetting drug use within her home
D) purposely endangering an infant. (fucking bodywash to eat ??!!)
And make it known to her that you will be advisi g her employer of all of the above, plus the alcoholism. She wont like that, the company she works for wont want bad publicity, or a bad reputation.
likely none of the things i mentioned above will hold, but might just make her reconsider her options.

Oh, and if other half moves back in, he HAS to contribute. You MUST declare it hon. Too risky otherwise. Why should you be the one to suffer when it all comes on top, when he should be providing for at least himself, if not you and the kids too. At the end of the day its not the governments fault that he was irresponsible before, and by letting you keep claiming pension, hes not being responsible now either. if he wants to be a family, he needs to put finances in order, otherwise, hes just getting a free ride, at your eventual expense.

Good luck!

captivated

Wow! This is insane. Also, let her report you for fraud. They have to prove it to be so in order to be punished or convicted. Anyone can call and make accusations. Brush it off. It is very difficult for them to prove someone is living with you.

[Deleted User]

One thing I can't stand is a man who refuses to cut the apron strings, good luck hun.

doodles

I saw in another post that u were going to TTC soon. I hope that goes okay with the ways things are with your man and his mom. you and your kids come first don't let this crazy woman have control of you or your emotions:/

mummy_to_be

@joshneviesmum well said!! My partner is moving back in so he is telling his mum if she goes ahead with it that she will never see him or his family again and that she will not only ruin my life but his and Mjs to as I will have a massive debt to pay back. I felt terrible not reporting it but he owed so much of his pay. The last few months he did pay half for everything. The way I see it is he will help me out one day, which will be very soon because he has decided to put my ring back on my finger and move in lol. Yey. So I will be reporting his earnings and I'll loose most of my pension. I'm planning on getting nite work so I don't have to pay for child care

@captivated I don't think there is anyone willing to stand by her side either. I am really good friends with the owner of my house that I rent and she would stick by me.

@char haha that'S the best lol!

@doodles thanks hun. Yes we will be soonish. It was a slight hiccup. We just needed some space and I needed time to regain feelings as he was the worst boyfriend ever for 2 years and then pretty good for the next year but I still kept those angry feelings and hurt from when he was horrible. He would take me out for dinner and all I could think was "who is messaging you. Bet your going to make me pay. Etc etc" I kept thinking all these horrible thoughts from before and just couldn't shake them. I just can't wait to start our happy lives together and stop living in the past.

doodles

It is hard to work through those feelings. I'm glad you guys are well on your way. :-)

mummy_to_be

@Doodles thanks sweetie I think we should get counselling lol.

jules

First of I am sorry you have to deal with her that really sucks and she sounds crazy. But as far as the money situation from our experience although it's hard do the right thing. Here's our experience my husband was married before and very young was kinda forced into it since he never even asked her lol. Then they had kid together she cheated on him he found out was willing to give her chance she didn't want to. Soo got divorce he let her keep everything. Therefore he had to go out buy stuff like car then he was told he couldn't BC he bad bad credit well he always had amazing credit soo it was her buying bunch stuff and not paying back..soo although it was hard for us last couple years dealing with getting things in order we are very blessed now. Happily married have beautiful baby girl trying for another. And just moved into a beautiful new house that we love very much. Where she has been screwing People over this entire time lying about it or trying to. And she's got pregnant with the other guys baby then had to rush to get married they still live in that tinny house my husband bought bc she can't get anything under her name. She's also pregnant again which they already don't have room and she still drives the car my husband let her keep it's actually under his name since she couldn't get approved. Her new husband is personal trainer which isn't bad at all but doesn't provide for family of 4 especially since he just has certificate therefore gets pain the minimum. She has been getting her way maybe this entire time but it hang gotten her very far my husband has been taking the harder road and has soo many wonderful things happen that all the ruff times pay off. So I believe, isn't always beat to do what you know is the right thing and God will provide and take car of you don't worry what she might due too much. Plus like @captivated said she would have to have visual evidence in order to do any real damage . I really am happy that your bf has stepped up that is already such big change towards a wonderful future.

mummy_to_be

@Jules wow that's insane!!! Yeah my partner borrowed all my savings and hasn't been able to pay me back. Me and my daughter are having party pies for lunch and corn chips and salsa for dinner which was left overs from my sister's hens night that people bought over! I wish I could have done the right thing while he was here but I seriously would have been on the street. My partner got paid today so I'm going to ask him for some money to get me by until I'm paid on Tuesday and when he moves in, I will be looking for nite work and reporting all our earnings. I've never felt good about it but at the end of the day, the government would just be using that money on some stupid art work on the side of the road or there lunch meetings and hotels. So I will fight for my family as long as I know I'm not harming anyone else. I hope god does come through for us. I've been struggling for a long time now, not just with money but family etc. Thanks for your kind words

jules

I know exactly how you feel and I agree a as long as no one else is effected it's important to take care of your family first. My husband was without a job for a year and half and I wasn't working either so it was hard and at the very end he found some side work and didn't report it to his unemployment BC we needed the money for our Rent at the time. He obviously was willing to pay it back as soon as he got a job. And he just recently got a job and that's why we moved but although we still have two more things to pay back they are small we are blessed just to finally have food like you're saying we had to struggle with even that many times while he was without a job. We lived of of romen mostly and pb and j. But in the end everything worked out BC he never have up looking for work and I never gave up on having faith that God will provide..And it's stressful but we had a place to call home and food for our daughter that was most important. The point is you continue doing what you have to do and try your best to not let it stress you out BC it will be ok . I hope you find a job that works well around your schedule! And like I said earlier you focus on you and what you know is the right thing to do bc u will be blessed and the people that screw others will never get past what they have it's true that in the end the nice guy really does win! His ex used to rub thing in my face and I never let her see that it bothered me and continued being positive and now she's the one struggling and I've reached out my hand to help like she should have when we needed it I guess what goes around comes around. And since she has always been selfish there's no one who cares. My husband and I have always had my we wonderful family just like you have us for support don't worry about her being crazy. She will look back and wish she could take it all away but it will be too late.

mummy_to_be

Thank you so much!! I love your positivity it's really rubbing off on me I'm going to ask around now if there is any work going.
I'm glad everything worked out so well for you! By the sounds of it you did it very tough and you deserve it xxx
@Jules

jules

Thank you and I'm glad I can help. Honestly the hardest part in my situationalp was the fact that I didn't have to be in it BC majority of the ruff time we weren't married so all these things were his problems but I loved him so I didn't care to have to go through it as well plus he needed something positive to keep going BC before he met me he was being regular guy just separated working and drinking with his friends after work no real goals. Then we met fell in love very fast which if knew him is not like him at all!!! And then I saw a future together but a lot had to come back in order of we wanted that future to be happy. And on top of trying get things in order we wanted baby and although we legally weren't married we decided to just let see what happens leave it in Gods hands. And one try did it. Then half way through my pregnancy he lost his job. Soo that's when it got hard and it was stressful since the old stuff that his ex did were still getting in order and now this But we continues getting it in order and searching for work and it was funny that once everything was clear from his ex we had wedding and the same week as the wedding we interview for the new job he got and we just moved this week to be closer to work and got super lucky not only on the location of our home but the home itself and we got great price. We happened to find it before it was even on the market so the day we got approved our property manager got crazy amounts of families wanting the home as well. The point is again God always has plan BC I didn't see us at this point for another two years but here we are. And from the sound of your situation things are looking up already and as long as you two stick together and work together you be amazed. I can't wait to hear some more great news from you and wish you the best!