Birth-control failure: let's tell the truth (even if it's in 3rd person context)
So, I hear a lot of stories about people getting pregnant while using their birth control as directed, some stories about a slight failure on the part of the woman involved (e.g. missing a couple days of pills, being on antibiotics...),and many more stories about birth control failure as a direct result of the birth control method itself. I was sexually active from 19-29 using pull-out and condoms (pull-out when REALLY safe/only a couple days a month and condoms the rest of the time) without getting pregnant. When we wanted to get preggo, it only took 1-2 cycles to conceive (2 pregnancies). However, I have known several women to get pregnant while on birth-control (some I believe, some I don't...I think I'm a pretty good judge of whether people are telling the truth, I also allow for the possibility of error in my judgement...)
You can yell at me if you want, but I refuse to believe these stories of birth-control methods (when used correctly) failing 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 times in a row!!! "I'm just fertile" isn't a viable excuse to me, because I'm pretty flippin' fertile (but also very responsible...)
So, let's tell the truth ladies (even if it's in 3rd person: "my friend got pregnant on depo"...) Has birth-control worked for you? If it failed you, was it because of something you did (e.g. not checking to see if your iud was in place). Or, was it just a story "your friend" told because "she" really wanted to get pregnant for whatever reason?
You can yell at me if you want, but I refuse to believe these stories of birth-control methods (when used correctly) failing 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 times in a row!!! "I'm just fertile" isn't a viable excuse to me, because I'm pretty flippin' fertile (but also very responsible...)
So, let's tell the truth ladies (even if it's in 3rd person: "my friend got pregnant on depo"...) Has birth-control worked for you? If it failed you, was it because of something you did (e.g. not checking to see if your iud was in place). Or, was it just a story "your friend" told because "she" really wanted to get pregnant for whatever reason?
Comments
I will be blatantly honest and come out with it. Two of my miscarriages after my son and while on the pill were completely my fault. I missed a pill during my cycles. once we were using condoms and another just pull out. I was too embarrassed to admit my slip ups, but in no way was desiring another pregnancy.
Other than that, I've gotten pregnant using condoms, spermicide , birth control and the pull out method. Combined methods not all separate. Now, i am not sure if i had been inserting the spermicide properly or waiting the correct amount of time during different occasions. It was painful to insert a certain ways in. Withdrawal has pre ejaculation and who knows if he was accurate in pulling out in time. Condoms consistently broke-wrong size. Hindsight is 20/20.
With this one, I consistently checked my mirena strings. I always felt them. I had no pain, no nothing. Found out I was pregnant and during my pelvic, it fell out. Either it wasnt placed correctly or moved on its own. Not sure. I was not using backup protection the second half of the month.
Any pregnancy is our own faults. We chose to have sex, we have to deal with the consequences. However, I have never intentionally set out to get pregnant. Ive gotten lost in the heat of the moment, made mistakes and been fertile. It is what it is
I do agree and think sometimes women are too ashamed and/or don't want to face the blame for their actions. I've been there, done that. Now, women who say these things and purposefully get pregnant? I dont know. That has never been me. I hate pregnancy and have been miserable with each one. I said after my dughter that id never have another child. Then my son. and now look at me. All were blessings...but not a blessing I planned for. I can't help but wonder if this post was about me.
I agree with math mommy
And thanks @math_mommy. We've had our differences, but I've grown enough to admit my mistakes. I'm in no way perfect. With all the judgements I've received from some ladies, I was ashamed to admit I was at fault for my pregnancies. Technically all, because I was the one having sex! But I was just at a very sad and depressed state in my life that I couldn't admit that it was ME that caused my problems. I wanted to place the blame for everything that happened to me upon someone or something else. Recovery has really opened up my eyes lately to my mistakes.
@math_mommy, that is very sad on gbff's part
Now I was on birth control since I was 14 years old. I was very promiscuous in high school and my early twenties and never got pregnant. I knew antibiotics and birth control didn't mix but what I didn't know was for how long. So in January 2011, while I was finishing up hygiene school, I got a kidney stone. Since it was small they said I could pass it on my own and put me on a Z pack of antibiotics for 3 days so I wouldn't get a UTI from it coming out. That week that the stone took to come out there was NO SEX at all because I was in so much pain. The week after the stone came out we still didn't have sex because I didn't feel good still, but two weeks later I was back to my old self and we finally had sex again. I was only on antibiotics for 3 days and here we were two weeks later so I thought they were out of my system. Wrong!!! February 2011 came and AF was no where to be found and because I had been on birth control for so long she was like clock work. I took a test and sure enough I was preggo. We were surprised but happy and now have a wonderful 17mo boy. I found out later that antibiotics mess with your birth control for the whole month so in the future if I'm on antibiotics I'll know to be more careful. My birth control failure was my fault due to only partial knowledge of how these things work.
@captivated ya it sure does! At least that's what all my drs told me. And no slamming from me. I'm smoking as I type this lol
I don't use birth control either like @jules. I personally can't use any birth control that is an abortifactant as a back up method. (morally speaking) But I don't judge any one that does in any way...everyone has to make their own choices & I respect that.
Now way back a million years ago in my first marriage before I believed that way I used depo provera which never failed, then after my second child I used the pill & condoms. We used condoms the first month because the nurse told me it would take a while for them to work. Well, I ended up pregnant! So on the pill AND condoms...wtheck?!
My then husband telling me to get an abortion was the last straw in our abusive relationship & I divorced him. Now, the result of that pregnancy is my violent tempered 16 year old who is just like him! Ha! He had no hand in raising him...crazy. But I wouldn't change anything for the world, I love my son to death & he will get his life straightened out I'm sure. There was obviously an important reason for him being here with getting pregnant that way.
So I guess it could be user error. With my son I had been off depo I think about a year, no period, sex once that month and we were pregnant.
My second we were using condoms. Never had one break but surprise!
I didn't change change a single thing I was doing when I got married at 20 but 30 days after saying "I do" BAM I'm pregnant. Then 3 months after my daughter was born, I got pregnant again. I was not on BC.
I've heard a few women say they got pregnant while on BC, but they weren't trustworthy people so i didn't believe them lol.
Either way, Im sure this does happen.
Point is that like a few of you have mentioned above that there are some women that lie about it just so they don't look wrong. I know someone who claimed she got pregnant on depo. The timing of her pregnancy looks like it did happen but this person has a tendency to stretch the truth. And also pretty much conned the guy she was with to have a kid even though he had told her he didn't want any kids until years down the line. So idk lol. Those women who use the excuse for that really piss me off.