Birth-control failure: let's tell the truth (even if it's in 3rd person context)

edited March 2013 in Getting pregnant
So, I hear a lot of stories about people getting pregnant while using their birth control as directed, some stories about a slight failure on the part of the woman involved (e.g. missing a couple days of pills, being on antibiotics...),and many more stories about birth control failure as a direct result of the birth control method itself. I was sexually active from 19-29 using pull-out and condoms (pull-out when REALLY safe/only a couple days a month and condoms the rest of the time) without getting pregnant. When we wanted to get preggo, it only took 1-2 cycles to conceive (2 pregnancies). However, I have known several women to get pregnant while on birth-control (some I believe, some I don't...I think I'm a pretty good judge of whether people are telling the truth, I also allow for the possibility of error in my judgement...)

You can yell at me if you want, but I refuse to believe these stories of birth-control methods (when used correctly) failing 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 times in a row!!! "I'm just fertile" isn't a viable excuse to me, because I'm pretty flippin' fertile (but also very responsible...)

So, let's tell the truth ladies (even if it's in 3rd person: "my friend got pregnant on depo"...) Has birth-control worked for you? If it failed you, was it because of something you did (e.g. not checking to see if your iud was in place). Or, was it just a story "your friend" told because "she" really wanted to get pregnant for whatever reason?

Comments

  • Lol I've never been on any birth control ever we always did pull out and used condoms hand full of times. Outside of times we were ttc obviously. But my husbands ex she cheated on him they have daughter together which took them two years of trying. Well she ended up being with the guy she cheated on him with and then very soon after the divorce which my husband and I were dating at the time. Well she gets pregnant and acourding to her it was crazy cause she was on birth control I don't believe that at all. She knew if she were preganant the guy would ask her to marry him as he did idiot lol. So then they got married in her parents back yard which is tinny by the way nothing fancy at all. While she was still early in pregnancy. Plus after they had that baby they wanted another and she had hard time getting pregnant again had miscariage when the first one was year so it took that long just to concieve and then she is not pregnant again few months later. Keep in mind the first one is already 18 months and they been trying like crazy forever... so I agree with u I doubt the first one before the were married happened while on birth control. Plus she went out of the way to make that clear to us and we don't talk to her about stuff like that which just proved she was just trying to lock the guy in... :)
  • I have had many pregnancies. Some due to my negligence and some due to failure of birth control.

    I will be blatantly honest and come out with it. Two of my miscarriages after my son and while on the pill were completely my fault. I missed a pill during my cycles. once we were using condoms and another just pull out. I was too embarrassed to admit my slip ups, but in no way was desiring another pregnancy.

    Other than that, I've gotten pregnant using condoms, spermicide , birth control and the pull out method. Combined methods not all separate. Now, i am not sure if i had been inserting the spermicide properly or waiting the correct amount of time during different occasions. It was painful to insert a certain ways in. Withdrawal has pre ejaculation and who knows if he was accurate in pulling out in time. Condoms consistently broke-wrong size. Hindsight is 20/20.

    With this one, I consistently checked my mirena strings. I always felt them. I had no pain, no nothing. Found out I was pregnant and during my pelvic, it fell out. Either it wasnt placed correctly or moved on its own. Not sure. I was not using backup protection the second half of the month.

    Any pregnancy is our own faults. We chose to have sex, we have to deal with the consequences. However, I have never intentionally set out to get pregnant. Ive gotten lost in the heat of the moment, made mistakes and been fertile. It is what it is :)

    I do agree and think sometimes women are too ashamed and/or don't want to face the blame for their actions. I've been there, done that. Now, women who say these things and purposefully get pregnant? I dont know. That has never been me. I hate pregnancy and have been miserable with each one. I said after my dughter that id never have another child. Then my son. and now look at me. All were blessings...but not a blessing I planned for. I can't help but wonder if this post was about me.
  • @captivated I am grateful for and sincerely overwhelmed by your honesty. In no way was this post directed at or inspired by you. I really appreciate you commenting though because I think you paved the way for other women to be honest (and you did it in such candid way, you elevated the respect I already had for you). So, thank you.
  • edited March 2013
    @captivated this is just a question being respectful... so your mirena fell out by itself during exam, what did the dr say? Im just asking because u mentioned in another post u wanted to have it removed? Again im not trying to be rude :)
    I agree with math mommy
  • @0811, I didn't know what would happen. When I was here asking for advice, I had not undergone my pelvic exam yet. Women had said if you remove it, it can cause pregnancy loss and that if you leave it, it can cause loss! So I wasn't sure what route to take. I knew it was there because I had felt the strings. They did my pelvic to check for the iud, bleeding, cervical changes etc. When the doc stood up she was holding my iud. She said it was "barely in" and probably would have fallen out within days. When I asked why, she said what i said in my post above. And actually, it was all one post, the youve got to be kidding me, post. Or facebook. Im not sure as i was updating both when possible.
  • @captivated oh ok i understand now, sorry. well good luck with everything and at least it is out so hopefully that will help you to have a healthy pregnancy:) good luck with your terrible sickness
  • @Jules my gbff's sister has gotten pregnant 8 times in 4 years (all while supposedly on birth control). Gbff started doubting whether she was really on b/c. He asked her boyfriend if he had ever seen her pills. He hadn't. Gbff spent 2 weeks looking for them...he found none. Some girls lie...just saying...
  • I was on the pill and very good about taking it on time. My friend had recently had a mc before I got preggo. HOWEVER, I was made aware that smoking decreases the effectiveness yet continued to smoke. So that easily could of been what happened. I guess ill never know. I really didn't think it'd happen to me (I've only ever had a handful of periods in my life, and no amount of stimulation would correct that, so a few drs speculated that I'd never be able to conceive)
  • Oh, and just to clarify, by "falling out", it didn't just fall out and onto the floor when the speculum went in lol. I don't really know what happens, but it was loose enough to move all the way out of my cervix during the exam. So she technically pulled it out.

    And thanks @math_mommy. We've had our differences, but I've grown enough to admit my mistakes. I'm in no way perfect. With all the judgements I've received from some ladies, I was ashamed to admit I was at fault for my pregnancies. Technically all, because I was the one having sex! But I was just at a very sad and depressed state in my life that I couldn't admit that it was ME that caused my problems. I wanted to place the blame for everything that happened to me upon someone or something else. Recovery has really opened up my eyes lately to my mistakes.
  • @Natashalynn hooray for miracle babies!!!!
  • @natashalynn, does it?! I've never heard smoking can decrease the effectiveness of BC!! Obviously blood clots and other reactions. I smoke (trying very hard to quit so please don't slam me for it).

    @math_mommy, that is very sad on gbff's part :( No one should be forced to have a child if they arent ready or do not desire one.
  • My best friend had her IUD fall out. She complained about it from day one being uncomfortable and then one day she had horrible pain and cramping with bleeding. She went to the Dr to get checked and they told her that her IUD was gone. She didn't remember it coming out but it was gone. She didn't get pregnant or anything but it does happen.
    Now I was on birth control since I was 14 years old. I was very promiscuous in high school and my early twenties and never got pregnant. I knew antibiotics and birth control didn't mix but what I didn't know was for how long. So in January 2011, while I was finishing up hygiene school, I got a kidney stone. Since it was small they said I could pass it on my own and put me on a Z pack of antibiotics for 3 days so I wouldn't get a UTI from it coming out. That week that the stone took to come out there was NO SEX at all because I was in so much pain. The week after the stone came out we still didn't have sex because I didn't feel good still, but two weeks later I was back to my old self and we finally had sex again. I was only on antibiotics for 3 days and here we were two weeks later so I thought they were out of my system. Wrong!!! February 2011 came and AF was no where to be found and because I had been on birth control for so long she was like clock work. I took a test and sure enough I was preggo. We were surprised but happy and now have a wonderful 17mo boy. I found out later that antibiotics mess with your birth control for the whole month so in the future if I'm on antibiotics I'll know to be more careful. My birth control failure was my fault due to only partial knowledge of how these things work.
  • Omg ya that's a lier story. But I do think in some cases it does happen I mean nothing 100% but like ur bf friend and my husbands ex for sure a lie hehe. I hope no one is taking this personally on here I don't think everyone is lier when on birth cntrol and get pregnant things happen all the time but we all know some crazy women out there will do anything. I don't think anyone on here is like that.
  • @frantastic I like ur story of birth control gone wrong sounds like it was blessing in the end :) like I said before never been on birth control but a month for it being all messed up because of antibiotocs is long time good to know if I ever decide to use birth control and happen to need antibiotics which I've never taken before either lol
  • This is how I understand birthcontrol pills to work and please if anyone has more knowledge or another perception feel free- but if a woman has been on the pill and she misses a day or a couple days that she is more likely to get pregnant around that time where she missed a pill/pills than if never starting BC? Does that make sense? My dads ex wife was on the pill after having my sister and she told me she forgot a day and she got pregnant with my brother. My ex and I started having sex with each other when we were 16 he was 17 and.I didn't start the pill for a year after that. We just used condoms or pull out( just one or the other we weren't careful and didn't ever do both together) and I never got pregnant. When I was 19 I didn't have my pills for almost 2 weeks because of prescription refill issues between the pharmacy and my dr. We had sex like 2 times using pull out and I.got pregnant with my son. So does being on the pill make u more fertile/likely to conceive if a day or two is missed rather than never starting the pill and just using condoms?
  • edited March 2013
    @math_mommy haha yay. I love her and wouldny change her...I just wish shed come a bit later in my life lol

    @captivated ya it sure does! At least that's what all my drs told me. And no slamming from me. I'm smoking as I type this lol
  • @adrians_mommy it would make sense maybe its kinda like if u don't have ur period for long time like when ur pregnant once it comes there's soo much blood one time I didn't have period for a year because of being an athelete and low body fat and being super active well once I got on medicine to get it started and once it did I was very heavy period. Maybe its similar with birth control it makes the normal things not happen and when u miss pills it gives ur body chance to let extra out that's been holiding in?? I don't know just assuming and maybe that's why all the sudden people get pregnant so fast and unexpected.
  • I got pregnant using the condoms and breastfeeding (supposed to help)
  • edited March 2013
    @adriens_mommy I've heard that missing pills can cause you to ovulate because of a drop in hormones...but I didn't research that, just heard it through the grape vine. Lol

    I don't use birth control either like @jules. I personally can't use any birth control that is an abortifactant as a back up method. (morally speaking) But I don't judge any one that does in any way...everyone has to make their own choices & I respect that.

    Now way back a million years ago in my first marriage before I believed that way I used depo provera which never failed, then after my second child I used the pill & condoms. We used condoms the first month because the nurse told me it would take a while for them to work. Well, I ended up pregnant! So on the pill AND condoms...wtheck?!

    My then husband telling me to get an abortion was the last straw in our abusive relationship & I divorced him. Now, the result of that pregnancy is my violent tempered 16 year old who is just like him! Ha! He had no hand in raising him...crazy. But I wouldn't change anything for the world, I love my son to death & he will get his life straightened out I'm sure. There was obviously an important reason for him being here with getting pregnant that way.
  • My daughter was a bc baby... While I didn't miss a pill at all there was a few weeks while I was in the field ( military camping!!) that I didn't take it at the same time everyday. My hubby and I had sex one weekend of that month. (Between 1 week field,sex that weekend, 2 week away for emergency leave (just me) and 1 more week in the field) and low and behold a positive test!!

    So I guess it could be user error. With my son I had been off depo I think about a year, no period, sex once that month and we were pregnant.
  • @wilsomom that's cool I didn't know u didn't do birth control... I might change my mind later on in life but right now I love the fact that I've never used it. I probably never will have to though cause my husband said once were done with kids he is more then happy to get fixed lol. He said that's the least he can do since I'm the girl and have to deal with period cramps carrying child delivery I thought that was nice of him to just offer I didn't even have to ask :).
  • edited March 2013
    I've been on the pill, pull out, and mirena and never got pregnant until I stopped using bc. Now I have my tubes tied...sucks cuz I have baby fever bad. I just have to keep reminding myself that I only miss the baby stage, not anything else!
  • My first was a pill baby. I took it every day at the same time, never took antibiotics, but surprise! So it wasn't user error.

    My second we were using condoms. Never had one break but surprise!

  • I had sex from 17-20 many, many, many times (I was a very horny teen, but only with 2 guys during that time). I used NO BC & no condoms. Just the pull out method & half the time my "soon to be husband" didnt pull oit while we were engaged. I never got pregnant. Never even missed a period.
    I didn't change change a single thing I was doing when I got married at 20 but 30 days after saying "I do" BAM I'm pregnant. Then 3 months after my daughter was born, I got pregnant again. I was not on BC.
  • I've never gotten pregnant on BC, and it actually took me a few months of unprotected sex to get pregnant the first time with my daughter and then again now with my son.
    I've heard a few women say they got pregnant while on BC, but they weren't trustworthy people so i didn't believe them lol.
    Either way, Im sure this does happen.
  • I've always done the pill and never take it at the same time every day and have missed a day here or there so I just take it when I remember. I have lots of sex with no unplanned babies, only two planned ones
  • Ive personally have only used horomonal Bc once in my life and that was two months that I lasted on it. Made me sick! But anyways my husband and I ttc or almost 2 yrs before we got pregnant. Had a mc and got pregnant right away. Had my daughter. Was breastfeeding. Although not EBF and some weeks after her I got pregnant again after some drunk night fun. Now I'm on the paragard so no (knock on wood) pregnancies yet. So I know on our part it was just us being stupid lol

    Point is that like a few of you have mentioned above that there are some women that lie about it just so they don't look wrong. I know someone who claimed she got pregnant on depo. The timing of her pregnancy looks like it did happen but this person has a tendency to stretch the truth. And also pretty much conned the guy she was with to have a kid even though he had told her he didn't want any kids until years down the line. So idk lol. Those women who use the excuse for that really piss me off.
  • My son was the result of a 1night stand condom fail. My daughter was semi-planned.
  • I don't use birth control. We use pull out method or condoms. I have three children, who are all result of him going in me
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