Uugghhh, i am beyond pissed!!! *vent*

My cousin came from out of town with his wife and kids for spring break. His daughter turns 2 in a couple of days and since he has to head back home tomorrow, he decided to have a small get together to celebrate.
I told my hubby that i wanted to go because i don't get to see them and I wanted to spend time with my family and he agreed that we should go. So we get there and about an hour and half later (if that) hubby starts whining that he's bored, and that he has an upset stomach and that he's uncomfortable and blah blah blah. So i offer him food or something to drink and he says no. So i ask "well what do you wanna do?" and he says "oh well i wanted to maybe spend some time with my cousin."
Needless to say that he's been spending the last 4 days with his cousin....
Seriously?! All im asking is for one night with my family and the best he can do is a freaking hour, but when it comes down to his cousin, i need to be ready to go and expect to spend my whole day over there.
That is so unfair! Aside from that, when we go to his family's house, he always leaves me with the older women (who don't even talk to me) while he's outside with his uncle and cousin. And I suck it up!!! Im so pissed. We ended up coming home right when all my nieces and nephews started playing games and having cake and stuff. I didn't get to enjoy the party.
This so sucks. Now we are home and he starts calling his cousin trying to make plans to go out. Im NOT going anywhere and if he leaves, he better leave a pillow and blanket outside cause he is definitely not sleeping inside.

Comments

  • I'm sorry but if my hubby ever did anything like that he would be in for long and serious talk. Starting out by saying not that I don't like ur family but I haven't know them my entire life therefore I have to try harder to have connection and we hang out with them all the time. And I think that's what u should do for me as well. I mean seriously ths isn't high school ur grown adults and he should not be acting like this at all they are ur family and he should be going out of his way to make them happy and make u happy. I don't know the entire story but my family had questions about my hubby when we were dating since his 6 years older and got married young once before and they had daughter so he had a lot of bagage so they just kinda assumed that he wanted me for one thing. And they had many conversations with him about it and he knew how they felt. I mean they were always very nice but honest. And since he loved me and had respect for my family he worked his ass off to please them and they absolutely love im lol sometimes I feel like more then me. The point is just like u love him so u go out of ur way to make his family happy that way his happy so he should want to do the same without u having to say it. So I'm very sorry and I would be very upset. And tell him that he was either lying or he majically feels better in which case since u couldn't have ur fun least he can do is stay home with u and if he has problem he for sure can camp out lol
  • @jules thats one of the things that gets to me, my family LOVES HIM! They do everything to make him feel at home when we go over for a visit, and they even start a conversation with him so that he won't feel left out. And I also have more cousins around our age that like him very much.
    Im not saying that his family is mean to me or anything like that, because they are all wonderful people and they love me too. I don't see it as me making an effort to fit in, because i do it out of love... but why can't he do the same for me?!?! Its not like he has to jump through hoops or anything cause my family already loves him. He's just a big fat baby!
    We've talked about this before. I have explained with apples and oranges, just to get my point across. I guess i'll have to do that again tomorrow. And if he doesn't listen, Im gonna start crying lol (he hates making me cry cause Im pregnant lol).
  • Well did he end up leaving? How old is he if u don't mind me asking? I hope u guys can have good conversation and come to an understanding.
  • @jules no, he fell asleep on his laptop lol. He didn't even bother asking to go out with his cousin cause he knew i was going to say no and he would have to choose between me or his cousin. He's 22.
    I know if i touch the subject tomorrow, we'll actually be able to talk about it. If i would've tried talking today, it would've started a fight and that's obviously not what i want even if im mad.
  • Are you married to my boyfriend?? Lol they sound the same!!! I have the same problem and i hate it!
  • @mommylovessparkle lol. I think that your boyfriend and my husband may be secretly related in a very weird way lol
  • That would make so much sense. Lol.
  • @mommylovessparkle lol. Pretty much. I kinda feel bad now cause he didn't change out of his clothes. He's laying in bed with his head literally on his laptop and fully clothed...
    (sometimes he reminds me of little kids. like the way they fall asleep in the most random places and ways.)
  • I would be happy that he didn't go. I'd also change his clothes for him, take his shoes off. Etc..
    Lol exactly like little kids. My boyfriend always falls asleep everywhere. He used to do it so much but now not so much. The thing i can't stand about him though is his stubbornness and how he talks about how hard work is but when i say i had a rough day too he says "oh yeah because staying at home with a baby is sooooo hard." That makes me want to punch him! He don't believe that being a sahm is hard work that lasts 24/7 for the rest of your life and he's complaining about a 8-12 hr shift.. please lol
  • @mommylovessparkle oh Im happy alright lol. He knows what's best for him hahaha. Oohhh i hate men that do that lol. My husband would try to compare my job to his too, but i told him that if he continued to have that mentality that i would completely stop working and doing all the things i did for him so he could really have something to talk about lol.... that did it for me. Haven't heard a beep about that topic ever since lol.
  • Oh well that explains a lot his still young and hasn't really learned proper way to deal with certain situations and are u little older then him u sure sound more mature. My husband was married before but they were both young and she pretty much forced him into it lol. He was 20 and she was 18 when they got married he never even proposed. But I mean I've heard lots of stories from the both of them and in their case they were just too young and rushed into it before they knew each other cause they are totally opposite and not in good way. Not that that is u guys cause this is normal thing to have disagreement on. But the way he acted is totally age thing and something my husband would have done at that age lol. After 25 there's big change in men and way the treat people it just clicks with them. So I wouldn't take it too personal but that doesn't mean it should just be ignored u are totaly right on just calmly talking to him about it today. I hope it goes well and he can understand were ur coming from. But keep in mind he just doesn't get it yet. I'm still young almost 23 but I'm girl and have never really been emature and my hubby will be turning 29 and his soo different now then even when he was 25 that's when we started to date. But no one is perfect and no matter the age we will always have a disagreement now and then and its good to talk it out I think its great of u to give him some time to cool off! Let me know how it goes.
  • @jules actually, im 21 lol. BUT i am way more mature than he is.
    He has come a long way too from when we first got together, but he still has a few things to learn.
    We went out for lunch today and we talked. He said he was just getting annoyed and he felt uncomfortable. He said that he still feels shy around my family (after 3 years lol) and that is why he wanted to leave. So then i explained that it was important for me that he makes an effort to let those feelings go because that is also costing me time with my loved ones. I told him that i understand how he feels because i felt that way around his family too, but i made an effort because i love him and i know how much he likes spending time with his family... its only fair that he does the same for me. He said he understood and that he was going to try a little harder. So that was that. Lets see how next time goes lol.
  • Why didn't he just leave and you could have stayed and enjoyed your family?
  • @mijita that's exactly what i told him last night. But he was just being a big baby.
  • Lol i told my man that before and he was like "that's fine the house will be cleaner without you here." So i was like okay then.. ill stop cleaning and we can both see how much cleaner your house will be without my help.. needless to say he was pissed because the house got so dirty. Then he apologized and i started to clean it up haha
  • @mommylovessparkle yeah lol. once their maid is gone, they'll do anything to have her back lol.
  • One thing I've learned: always take 2 cars in situations like these, or have someone drop you off at home later. Especially our family reunions...yikes!
  • @Molly we were literally about 6 or 7 minutes from home. Maybe that's why he was pushing to go home. And i even told him "i'll drop you off at home and come back for another hour or so" and he didn't want too. Like i said, he was just being a big baby.
    But we talked today, and he understood how important it is for me that he doesn't do that anymore.
  • I see honestly he just has lot growing up to do but it's very normal behavior and doesn't sound like his normally a jerk or anything plus after the way lunch went is good sign. my only adevice that I would give any friend from what I've learned and from other friends and my husband's experience as well is continue having these types of healthy conversations that way as you guys both get older you can grow together following same path if you know what I mean. That way in your later 20s you will be closer then ever. I've just seen many people get married young and don't have these good talks and reach certain age and realize they are in such different places. I would never wish that on anyone as I've seen great friends go through that and by then it's too late. so never give up on each other and family is very important as they can be your support in your marriage. And I keep this in mind all the time as relationships can get hard at times but when true love so worth it! and I am so happy to hear another young couple being mature and facing things together and working on it day by day. too many just give up don't you think...
  • @jules oh definitely. I know this may sound weird but the loss of our daughter has made us grow up and mature so much. I remember us fighting so much at the beginning. When we lost our daughter i gave up and i gave him the choice to leave, but he decided to stay and work things out. We knew that in order for us to have a healthy relationship, we needed to have good communication. We learned to give each other space when we are in a bad mood, and then talk when we felt better. I can honestly say, im truly happy and i can see myself with this man forever. I know Im young, but i think that we've gone through one of the hardest things a couple could ever go through and that's aside from other obstacles we've had to overcome. We were both teens when our relationship began and when we became pregnant the first time. We both had small part time jobs and we couldn't afford much. We had to stay with my mom because we had no extra money to afford a place of our own. Now, we have our own place. We own two cars. He has a better paying job that can provide for us just fine. Im pregnant again and im able to stay at home. And our relationship is better than ever. God has truly blessed us. I think that compared to many couples that have started out young, we are doing great. I know it may sound cheesy lol, but i see myself growing old with him.
  • He needs to start getting used to being around your family alot more now that baby is almost here.
  • No its not cheese at all I think its important ti be able to answer wheather u can be with one person forever and deal with their good sides and bad not everyone can say yes to that. And I knowb what u mean about growing closer together I think two things happen in hard time as we all know people can leave and just give up but if we choice to fight then beautiful things can happen and people can get soo close that the bond can never be broken. Although my hubby is older and more mature which I'm thankful for lol there was soo many thing we both have been threw before we met well I've been through more as an individual which made us stronger and ready for each other and then their has been a lot since our relationship has started but every single one has only made us stronger together and better relationship. So I think its great when I see someone else go through that! Sounds like u two have a normal yet healthy relationship and I wish u two the best :)
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