Me personally wouldn't delete them or my fb account.. What's the difference in you meeting them at work, at the store or even on the streets vs over the internet.. To me it just sounds like he's threaten by your friendship.. Just try to reasure him that it is just friendship, or even create account for him to get into that game and play with you! But that's just me... I hope you and him can come to an understanding!
Idk being married doesn't mean u can't have friends. I suppose if it were switched around and my husband was exchanging messages w woman I didn't know I would be upset. It's a tough situation. He should believe u tho if u say its just friend stuff. Did he read em and see there was nothing more going on? If not maybe let him read em.
Exchanging private messages on Facebook seems unnecessary. Keep it friendly while gaming but keep it at that. My bf plays RPGs too and if he was private messaging girls from the game I'd be like wtf!
Honestly, i'd stop the game and Facebook for a few days until things cool down. I would have a talk with him to reassure him that nothing is going on and then if you decide to go back to the game, keep your friendships in the game and that's it. Even if you're not giving him a reason to doubt you, there's really no reason why you should be messaging back and forth with them... especially guys. But that's just my opinion. If you think you should handle it another way, then go ahead and do it. Only you know your husband.
I'd show him the messages and ask him to show you if there is anything offensive in them (be nice about it). Since you are making and contacting both males and females outside of the game I don't see a problem.
Unless the game is sexual or provocative in nature I see no point in stopping. I know there are some games out there that push the boundaries (both online and L.A.R.P. ) so maybe get him involved so he understands what you are doing.
Being a parent is stressful and everyone deserves a way to unwind.
I can see both viewpoints. However, marriage is all about compromise. Even if you're doing nothing wrong, the fact is that it upsets him and bothers him. To just continue and say "tough luck" is insensitive and will only cause further issues. Is an online game and online friends worth causing issues and interfering with your real life husband? If I was in your shoes, I would stop out of respect for him even though it wasn't wrong per se. I would not be fond about my husband Fb messaging other women, innocent or not.
Ok thanks for the advices ladies . I deleted my Facebook , deleted the game and I'm beyond mad at my husband for doubting me, but if he has insecurities I guess is for the best , even if I know this guys and girls for years now. Even before I met him . But my relationship is far more important
Well I totally agree with @captivated it goes both ways I wouldn't like the privet messages whoever I don't think u need to delete the entire facebook I mean don't u have good friends and family on there u stay in contact with. Its about compramising not dictatorship lol. I think it would have been good to delete the game and those particular friends u guys still should talk it out. I'm sure in few days u might be upset with him for not having it around in general ya know. I hope u two come to an agreement its super easy to get ur profile back its never actually totally deleted.
I'm probably going to get a lot of flack from this but I'm beyond caring.
I was in a relationship and my ex always made me feel guilty for talking to any of my friends. Male, female anyone, he had me remove all contact, delete all social media everything. I was completely isolated because HE didn't want me talking to other people. Even people I knew for years and had no sexual interest with EVER! Meanwhile he was chatting it up with ex girlfriends, new hotties, you name it.
Because I had no one to talk to and was basically being treated like shit I ended up having a nervous breakdown and attempting suicide. Im not proud of this, but isolation and post pardum depresion will do strange things to you.
Lucky I was able to get help. I'm not saying your man is like my ex, because I do not know either of you. But in all honesty unless you have a history of cheating, are playing games that are sexual in nature, or are talking inappropriately to people I don't see why you should have to give up on something you enjoy.
There are some males on Pregly. What happens if you talk to them?
Yes, if something is causing stress in your marriage you should work it out. Talk to him, let him see what it is you are doing, who you are talking to, what you are saying. But don't let him isolate you.
Would you want him not to talk to anyone (maybe you do like I said before I don't know you) because if you are not allowed to than I say, to have fairness in your marria
I hardly use facebook cuz all it does is cause drama. You can't delete ur fb anyway, only deactivate ur account. Maybe he's jealous cuz you play online with em and now ur relationship with these ppl has crossed over to facebook....id be upset if my hubby was adding girls from modern warfare to his facebook. I don't want em looking thru each others pics... its weird.... Anyway, if you love him, no one and nothing else outside your family should matter so much you wouldn't drop them for the sake of your relationship. And I'm sure he'll notice and appreciate that you'd do that for him. Hopefully he says "thank you baby....you know what, play your game, I trust you...." if not, you can always use this later when he adds a strange girl on facebook.
I agree with @mathair I was I'm a realationship just like that... If it's a compromising then she wouldn't be the only one do anything to make him feel better. Now you're upset because you did something you didn't want to do... What is going to do to make you feel better in your decision to stop playing the game and deleting fb? Imo fb only affects relationships if you allow it too! If your open and honest about the private messages and have nothing to hide fb shouldn't be an issue... Again this is just me!
He doesn't talk to anyone , I don't know why, I have never told him he couldn't have friends I didn't know , his issue is him not knowing this people, even though I have told him about them alot of times. I even offered to show him all the messages if needed it be, he just went into a jealousy fit, so I just went ahead and got rid of what was causing it, I am really mad about it because I'm a stay at home mom, and it isn't as easy as people think, I get tired and stressed and the game was a relieve from that. The game isn't sexual nor does it even have sexual graphics and I have offered to make him an account multiple times, he just doesn't like the fact that I socialize with people he doesn't know there.. He isn't a social person but I am, and with 2 kids all day at home and no money to go anywhere I need to talk to people my age before I go insane , sorry I don't tag anyone , is rather annoying to do on my phones web
You're better than me, cause I wouldn't have deleted either one... You are trying to compromise and he's not meeting you halfway.. maybe give it a couple more days of being deleted and then sit him down and talk about it all.. Tell you're going to re active your fb and game account, but you won't cross the two over.. If he's still not happy about that start with just re opening one and then talk about the other in a week our so.. He needs to understand your feelings as well.. It's not just his way... Again you are way better than me! I tell my husband at least once a week I'm a grown ass women, I can make my own dessions, or you ain't my daddy! Lol that's when he knows he pushed it to far with me... Gl let me know how it works out, our if it does!
@Janet_2011 i agree with @starlilly. Let things cool down a little and then talk to him about what you feel and why you like that game. Im sure that once he's not mad, he'll understand and you'll be able to start playing again.
I think now that he said he was sorry maybe he will be more open minded and tell him what u told us about ur feelings and its just nice to have little break and u thought the game was fun nothing personal with people if it was why would u want to add him on there in first place. I really hope he comes around as it doesn't sounds like ur doing anything wrong at all.
The game is a 2d role playing game, you get to make your character , kill monsters for exp, get items as drops, craft the best items from drops, you can also fish and mine. Or you can just sit down and talk to others , I mostly craft and train, but I also enjoy talking to the players while doing so.
We came to the deal that I can play and talk to my friends there as long as I don't link my personal life and the game together , he says since he doesn't know this people and don't know their intentions he doesn't want them knowing more about me than they should . So we came to the deal that I can play aslong as they stay game friends only.. It kind of sucks because I know some of this people for 8 yrs now, since I have been playing the game since I was 16. But It is the best since we both came half way.
That's good! you both got what you wanted in the end.. It's not perfect, but it's better than nothing.. I'm glad you talked to him and didn't just delete it and leave it... Maybe over more time you can get him involved in the game with you!
Comments
Even if you're not giving him a reason to doubt you, there's really no reason why you should be messaging back and forth with them... especially guys. But that's just my opinion. If you think you should handle it another way, then go ahead and do it. Only you know your husband.
Unless the game is sexual or provocative in nature I see no point in stopping. I know there are some games out there that push the boundaries (both online and L.A.R.P. ) so maybe get him involved so he understands what you are doing.
Being a parent is stressful and everyone deserves a way to unwind.
I was in a relationship and my ex always made me feel guilty for talking to any of my friends. Male, female anyone, he had me remove all contact, delete all social media everything. I was completely isolated because HE didn't want me talking to other people. Even people I knew for years and had no sexual interest with EVER! Meanwhile he was chatting it up with ex girlfriends, new hotties, you name it.
Because I had no one to talk to and was basically being treated like shit I ended up having a nervous breakdown and attempting suicide. Im not proud of this, but isolation and post pardum depresion will do strange things to you.
Lucky I was able to get help. I'm not saying your man is like my ex, because I do not know either of you. But in all honesty unless you have a history of cheating, are playing games that are sexual in nature, or are talking inappropriately to people I don't see why you should have to give up on something you enjoy.
There are some males on Pregly. What happens if you talk to them?
Yes, if something is causing stress in your marriage you should work it out. Talk to him, let him see what it is you are doing, who you are talking to, what you are saying. But don't let him isolate you.
Would you want him not to talk to anyone (maybe you do like I said before I don't know you) because if you are not allowed to than I say, to have fairness in your marria
Anyway, if you love him, no one and nothing else outside your family should matter so much you wouldn't drop them for the sake of your relationship. And I'm sure he'll notice and appreciate that you'd do that for him. Hopefully he says "thank you baby....you know what, play your game, I trust you...." if not, you can always use this later when he adds a strange girl on facebook.
Game sounds like wow.