I feel like a bad mom

Frantastic

Maybe I'm just extra emotional because I'm pregnant again but I've been feeling really down about my mommy skills lately. My husband works from home and has a pretty flexible schedule so he gets to spend way more time with our son than I do. I work outside the home and my commute is about an hour round trip so I leave before he gets up and I only get to spend 2hrs a day with him when I get home. I only work four days a week but still I wish I could cut down and spend more time with my baby. I feel like a terrible mother and that my son loves daddy way more than me. I'm really heart broken

perly

Im sure you're an awesome mom! Its not like you're away from him because you choose too, its because of your job. The important thing is that you always let him know how much you love him. If you do that daily, then you're doing a good job

jules

That makes you a great mom your providing for your child and the entire family. I'm very thankful I get to stay home however my husband has busy schedule and works 60 hours a week that's his regular shifts but for awhile here he has to work over time to keep our home going and I miss him because I was so used to him being home with uus. but i know he works that hard for us and my daughter and this baby will understand that. Especially since it sounds like your situation you might not get a lot of time but it's quality time and your baby I'm sure always looks forward to that! And the older they get the more they understand the more they appreciate the hard work! Don't be too hard on yourself. And like the others said it's not like your choosing to be away just because. My advice is continue to enjoy the time you do have and if you don't have some sort of special routine with ur lo get one. My husband always does certain things with our daughter that I don't and oh does she look forward to it. And I know it really helps him feel much better because they have somethibg special

Frantastic

Thank you @jules and @perly I think it's been extra tough because my little guy has been sick and he only wants daddy. Plus my husband has to get on the computer and work as soon as I get home so I have to do all the "bad guy stuff" like bath time, brushing teeth, cleaning ears etc. I feel like I'm the "mean" parent and he's the "good" one.

jules

Oh well try find ways make it fun and special time for him. My daughter loves bath time and to play with her tooth brush and she's even enjoying getting her hair washed and she's loves getting her eaes cleaned many times I'll give her a q tip cause she can do it herself and she doesn't push it deep at all so I don't worry. She's just started getting interested in getting her nails cut. Before she would just sit there now she wants to watch and try lol. My hubby and I have to take turns or do it together cause it's her favorite part of the evening. I don't know how old your son is exactly but maybe try find things and ways make it super fun for him. Like we have bubble machine and all kinds of toys and we're gonna get her those special crayons for the bath tub. And all her things are super baby proof that way she's able to hold everything herself without us worrying about her cutting herself or chocking on something or even slipping in the tub. And if you already tried all those things then I guess some kids just don't connect it to being fun but it's possible to make the transition cause our daughter was scared for awhile.

monkey_girl

Don't feel bad! My husband works 9-6 mon-Friday and has to commute an hour and a half each way. He gets to spend about an hour a day with her but makes it count. He basically gets her ready for bed. Shower, dressing her, and putting her to sleep. She loves it when he gets home! Once he's home she knows it her favorite time of the day "Bath time".

Starlilly

Aww your a great mother! Maybe talk to your husband about helping you to do the things your son doesn't like so it doesn't seem like you're the "bad parent". I'm the "bad parent" at our house too. My hubby is a push over with our girls and I'm not. But our boys I think I'm the push over and he's not! Lol I hope you feel better about all of it. Maybe you can make a time that's just for you and your son. Go to the movies part or whatever he likes to do once a week. My husband did that with our kids when he worked nights and never saw them. They loved their one on one time! They still ask to do that although he works day shift now!

Frantastic

You guys are awesome! Thanks for making me feel better. I'm just extra hormonal and emotional. I like your idea @Starlilly of having my hubs help me do the mean stuff and spending one on one time with him on my days off. We recently hired a housekeeper so I don't have to stress out about cleaning on my days off anymore.

perly

@frantastic and remember that this is temporary. Kids go through many stages, so this is normal. Like mentioned before, as long as you spend as much time as possible with him and that you always remind him of how much you love him it'll all be ok.

I know this has nothing to do with you, but my mom was a single mom and she worked long hours. She worked so much, i had to stay at an aunt's house Mon-Fri and then early Saturday morning she would pick me up and she would dedicate the whole weekend to me, even though she was exhausted from her long work week. Now, im an adult and i love her and appreciate her so much. She did miss out on a lot of things, but she had to sacrifice that in order to provide for me. I know that's not your case, but i just wanted to show you that your son will grow up and appreciate your hard work. I know im very thankful for everything my mom did for me and i will never be able to repay her. Im sure your son will always be proud of you