Mother In Law

SheentahleaSheentahlea
edited May 2013 in VENT (keep it peaceful!)
So today should be a great day, right? It's Mother's Day and I'm pregnant with our first little bundle of joy. :)

Somehow, my MIL is ruining it even from an hour and a half away.

This woman is going to make me pull hair out! Apparently I'm not supposed to go see my mom who is 8 miles from me because we can't afford to go see my MIL. Maybe it's the compilation of things - she wants to be there when we find out the sex of the baby, she only wants his parents and my parents at the hospital, she wants my baby to call her "Queenie," she wants to keep our baby for weeks at a time...and that's only a few of the issues at hand. We're having our wedding ceremony next month and she's decided she's wearing a cherry red dress to a brown and cream wedding. They decided to buy us a washing machine as a wedding gift and now she uses it against me when she wants to lay a guilt trip on me. She tells hubby that I'm keeping him from her, but in reality we just can't afford to drive there all the time.

Anyone else have or had a Monster In Law? I need some advice. I love the woman bc she gave birth to my wonderful hubby, but she's driving me bananas.

Comments

  • mommyof3girlsmommyof3girls
    You're just going to have to put ur foot down at least once so she learns she's not in control of u. It's ur life, ur baby and she's just going to have to realize that. She's still adjusting to not being #1 lady in ur hubby's life so give her time but at the same time don't be a push over about it.. If that makes sense. Hopefully it will get better. Hang in there. And congrats on baby. ;)
  • julesjules
    Well sounds like she obviously had change bc her son is growing up and once ur baby is here u well really understand that I can't imagine to not have my kids around ever lol but it's reality which she needs to expect. And your going through a lot as well so it's not best time to get along with people in general. I agree u need to learn to set your foot down but be nice at same time no need to be rudejust black and white ya know. When she brings up what the baby should call her just say my child will call you and others in the family what he or she wishes to as long as it's polite obviously. Just say I'm not going to force anything like that on my child and neither will anyone else. And the washing machine next time she says something just say thank you for our gift however u don't need to remind us everyday to thank you after all we thought it was a gift and if she has problem I would say honestly I feel uncomfortable with this gift maybe u felt obligated so will start paying u back for it slowly that should get her to shut it. And the dress just have ur husband tell her that this is your day and she needs to do what your wishing others that are involved don't seem to have problem. And as far as who will be in the room with u guys don't even worry they usually just allow two people maybe 3 at a time one will be the father of the baby I'm assuming. And when the day comes she won't be allowed up on the labor floor without the nurses asking u first so I would just forget that one.
  • CristinaLynnCristinaLynn
    Put a stop to it asap before it gets outta control. You do mot owe that woman anything nor are you obligated to her. If you want to go see your Mom for Mother's Day then go see her...who the hell does she think she is? Say something to her now...cause it will get worse. If she uses the washer against you again, tell her to come get the damn thing if it was obviously that much trouble for her. You do not owe her anything!!
  • SheentahleaSheentahlea
    @mommyof3girls @jules @ChristinaLynn

    I know I'm going to have to stand up to her. She refused to give us Brandon's grandmother's address (on his father's side) simply bc she doesn't want to invite her. Yesterday she didn't tell me Happy Mother's Day and it hurt my feelings a little but it really upset Brandon so he said something to his dad. She called him around 6 to apologize to him...and I got a text around 11 pm telling me she doesn't believe in telling expectant mother's Happy Mother's Day. I feel like I'm supposed to follow her rules. I don't understand her being so crazy with me. He didn't live at home when we met and had previously been in a 4yr relationship with a woman with whom he lived. She told me she can't afford to get a dress...but they just bought a Harley? She also informs Brandon that his older brother can't be his bestman at the wedding bc he switches jobs. The older brother lives with her and we've yet to get a straight answer. I could almost get her HOPING we would ask the mothers to go when we find out the gender, but to straight out ask me and then when I told her no she said,"Well I think we should be allowed to go." We almost told them to come get the washer because she kept on the guilt trip. She even told me his other brother is jealous that they didn't get a wedding gift. They got married in December, I think, so I don't understand WHY they didn't get them a wedding gift. Ugh. I love the washer, but I'll gladly let them have it! lol
  • julesjules
    Well it's not that she's not allowed she sounds dramatic but it's special moment for the couple and if they don't want to share the family then that's way it is they will all eventually find out sex of the baby things don't need to be her way all the time. And as far as his brother being involved I don't see why that's her choice your SO should be talking to his own sibling about this. Sounds like u talk to her way you much. I mean I don't have any problems with my mother in law and she loves me but it's my husband job to communicate with her. U need to try find you two some space doesn't mean being mean or ignore each other just let him handle it. And the mothers day thing is silly I didn't celebrate while I was pregnant with my daughter I just enjoyed the day with my hubby and our mothers you will have lots of mothers day to look forward too. It might not be nice for her to tell her opinion on it but I don't think you should take it personal if she didn't wish a mothers day. Just try give space, let your SO do the communication with her and don't over think things just find something positive about her bc right now it's not a healthy relationship which isn't good for you two and in long term it may.compromise your relationship at home.
  • melodyamelodya
    Haha good luck! Ive been dealing with mine for 17 years! Women that give birth to our men get crazy over time (im sure i will with my sons too). My MIL has had her moments where she is "normal" then with a blink of an eye she's a loon! It all started back in 1998 when my husband & i got together. My MIL would never admit it but me MILbeing white & him hispanic had a lot to do with it then when we had our 1st son MIL was fine then our 2nd son she acted like he wasnt her grandson. 12 years later we had a daughter & MIL was fine until 4 mo.ths ago & now she wants nothing to do with any of us. Her loss. I can only deal with her attitude for so long! Good luck ladies
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