Any ladies needing advice please :(
I will try to make this short and sweet. Lol
My best friend of 13 yrs is the issue. For the past 4 yrs and I mean something happens every year since then. She is shady and I hate to say that but she is. I see right thru her lies and bs. However each and every time I have said something it always has gotten turned around on me. Each yr. When she meets someone new. I always get on the back burner. I didn't say much the first 2 yrs of it cause I don't like drama. However the last 2 I have. But when she gets tired of the new friend. Which any of those aren't in her life anymore. She's there once again. Well I have tried pulling away the last 2 yrs when that happens because I don't think that's fair. She doesn't like having a circle of friends, which I find so odd at our age. Early 30's. It reminds me of a 5 yr who doesn't wanna share their friends. Anyways in late oct when I was out her house I would make little conversation with her neighbor and I could she didn't like that. But her neighbor has a baby almost same age in common. When we all went trick n treating which her and I have done every year the past 6. This last one she invited her which I was surprised cause she never talked to her and I was kind of the odd ball out. I got left many houses behind and felt like I was kind of just a intruder. My husband noticed it and thought that was strange. However I let t slide. Well here we are now in June and we hardly hang out anymore. When I don't make much contact. She says I been trying to get out of her life yet when I have tried to say lets do this and that she can't. (Her husband is very controlling) but the neighbors husband is just like her husband so they all get along. Which I'm happy for her. But I don't fit no where in that equation although she will say so. She doesn't show it. She has plain out ditched me so much that I'm tired of it. I really wanna walk out of this whole situation. It does stress me a lot and I'm pregnant and don't need or want it. The change would be hard. She is someone I talk to everyday thru text. However. I feel like a Monday thru Thursday friend and not a good enough weekend friend. She says she can't do stuff on weekends. But it's like stuff is thrown in my face from FB cause their doing stuff. No I'm not jealous. I just never understood why someone can't balance their life. I have been there for them alot when they were having money problems I have yet seen the money back. Etc. I pretty much feel I'm the outcast now and I'm just tired of going in circles. Because in a few months her friend will get old and then she will need me again. I don't want a part time friend ya know. Mind y'all we live literally across the street. Any advice??? I don't want to completely loose contact if I'm making it bigger than it is.
My best friend of 13 yrs is the issue. For the past 4 yrs and I mean something happens every year since then. She is shady and I hate to say that but she is. I see right thru her lies and bs. However each and every time I have said something it always has gotten turned around on me. Each yr. When she meets someone new. I always get on the back burner. I didn't say much the first 2 yrs of it cause I don't like drama. However the last 2 I have. But when she gets tired of the new friend. Which any of those aren't in her life anymore. She's there once again. Well I have tried pulling away the last 2 yrs when that happens because I don't think that's fair. She doesn't like having a circle of friends, which I find so odd at our age. Early 30's. It reminds me of a 5 yr who doesn't wanna share their friends. Anyways in late oct when I was out her house I would make little conversation with her neighbor and I could she didn't like that. But her neighbor has a baby almost same age in common. When we all went trick n treating which her and I have done every year the past 6. This last one she invited her which I was surprised cause she never talked to her and I was kind of the odd ball out. I got left many houses behind and felt like I was kind of just a intruder. My husband noticed it and thought that was strange. However I let t slide. Well here we are now in June and we hardly hang out anymore. When I don't make much contact. She says I been trying to get out of her life yet when I have tried to say lets do this and that she can't. (Her husband is very controlling) but the neighbors husband is just like her husband so they all get along. Which I'm happy for her. But I don't fit no where in that equation although she will say so. She doesn't show it. She has plain out ditched me so much that I'm tired of it. I really wanna walk out of this whole situation. It does stress me a lot and I'm pregnant and don't need or want it. The change would be hard. She is someone I talk to everyday thru text. However. I feel like a Monday thru Thursday friend and not a good enough weekend friend. She says she can't do stuff on weekends. But it's like stuff is thrown in my face from FB cause their doing stuff. No I'm not jealous. I just never understood why someone can't balance their life. I have been there for them alot when they were having money problems I have yet seen the money back. Etc. I pretty much feel I'm the outcast now and I'm just tired of going in circles. Because in a few months her friend will get old and then she will need me again. I don't want a part time friend ya know. Mind y'all we live literally across the street. Any advice??? I don't want to completely loose contact if I'm making it bigger than it is.
Comments
I can totally relate to you though, I have a horrible tendency to find these types of friends, ones who use me and come to me when its convenient. I know its because I'm a loyal person, and always want to be there for people, but I've realized that I need to be loyal to myself first.
I think if you sit back and look at it, you know she's not a friend. Stick up for yourself. You deserve to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about you.
Hang out with your other friends, and next time she wants to do something...well do it if it works for you and you want to do it. If it doednt work or you don't want to, just say, sorry! Can't do that. Maybe another time.
I know it'll feel good to stand up for yourself even in a small way like that!!