If I were to die.. and a couple more questions

tjscrd

I know laws probably very state to state I'm just looking for some general information. Okay, so if I were to die my son's dad would get first rights to him, no matter if I have sole physical and legal custody, correct? And if he were to be spiteful enough could he take my son just to turn around and put him into foster care? What happens with my family? Could they lose the ability to see him? We also live in two seperate states. I'm not worried about dying anytime soon by no means but I do worry about where my son would go. My boyfriend now is willing to adopt him as he's been in his life since before he was born, but that's years down the line yet until after we're married. However, what if his biodad refuses to give up his parental rights? He has never seen him, he is in and out of prison and he has not paid a cent of court ordered child support. When is it enough to get his parental rights revoked without permission?

2ndtimearound

I think it depends, how did you get full legal & physical custody. If you proved to the courts he was unfit or absent, I don't think he would automatically get custody. Plus if he has never been in the picture, how would he even know you died to try to get custody?

As far as adoption goes that would get tricky because you would have to serve him paperwork & he could contest. If he has never attempted to have relationship with your child it may still be possible.

tjscrd

@2ndtimearound I got the custody during my child support case that the county made me do. He didn't show. He is in and out of jail to halfway houses as far as I heard. I spoke with him briefly over the phone months ago about child support and he basically told me that he was waiting until my son was older.. Like to the point where he doesn't have to do everything for him THEN magically appear and try to take him. My son has a father, a baby sister and a whole family that took him in since day 1. I will not let a alcoholic felon take him even for a day while I'm alive. Paternity was establised for child support and to my understanding, please correct me if I am wrong, he would be contacted first if I were to pass and asked if he would like custody.

jules

Well now that u hace been given all custody when the child support was taken care of u really need to get a Will together even if its something simple bc hiring lawyer to do it can be expensive, but when u have the money for that kibd of thing for sure have lawyer look over everything. In any case yes they usually go to the father first which they will look at however they don't just hand the child over the look at ur wishes, his history all that. Once they see that one he has never been part of the childs life they will also see he never even bothered with providing financial care for the child. Then they will see why which is he has criminal history and they would never let person in charge of child after all that so most likely they will look at whome u picked to be the guardians and go from there. I think its great that ur thinking ahead my hubby and I did that just in case something happens to us. However from what ur describing I wouldn't worry about ur son going with his dad or being put in a home as long as u have someone lined up to take care of him.

starrxoxo9

I think you should look into getting an attorney and writing up a will. I'm pretty sure you can decide who gets guardianship of your children if you pass away. You have to have it in writing though and most likely notarized and all that stuff. I think the child only goes to "next of kin" if you have nothing else set up for him. If this is a major concern for you I would definitely set up something with an attorney and get all your questions answered.

perly

Well if you have full custody of your son, that means the biological father doesn't have rights over his son anymore.
When my brother went for full custody of niece, the mother had to sign over her rights....
Either way, your best bet is to talk to an attorney directly and get your questions answered that way because like you said, every state and county works differently.

2ndtimearound

I don't believe there is anyone that will look for the father, unless the child is left without a caregiver. Social services would not get involved unless nobody was caring for the child. So that's why I said the father would have to know you passed and try to get custody.