Hate

I hate my life! I hate my pos excuse for a husband! Every day I wake up to my beautiful kids and wish there was a way to get away from him. He doesn't hit me or call me names but just the opposite. He walks around like I'm not even there. He doesn't talk or show me any kind of emotions. I have stayed this long cause he said it was gonna get better but nothing has changed since he cheated on me. I've hoped everyday that my life get better but everyday is just as shitty as the last day. I'm so tired of this life. All I do is cry everyday. I just want someone to show me they care about me for once...

Comments

  • Then leave him! Your life won't get better until YOU do something to change it! Care about yourself and those kids enough to make a better life!
  • Yes! ^^ You have to stand up & take care of yourself. It's not selfish, it will help you be a better mother. I'm sorry & I hope you can get some help.
  • Well I wouldn't have sticked around after cheating thats something I could never forget may forgive but to forget would be impossible so I know I couldn't go on acting that everything is ok. Plus sounds like his not even trying..tell him exactly how you feel and see what he says. And if he decides he wants chance I would expect change in actions right away this time. If not then u have peace of mind knowing you did everything possible but at end of the day you can't change anyone or force anything that's why I say tell him ur feelings and wait for response if his expecting you to guide him I wouldn't. That wouldn't be a real change he has to want the change.
  • No one will ever love you until you love yourself. So if you love yourself leave him!
    If you realized he doesn't love you, then its time to realize that its time to go..

    Only you can can put a stop to this.
  • I agree with everyone......You have to love you first....It sounds like he knows nothing will happen so why change, ya know? No one should ever be made to feel like they are invisible, that is no way to live. He needs to step up or step out because if YOU are not happy your kids WILL pick up on that....
  • Thanks @everyone. (Sorry I'm on my phone) Well it finally got so bad that we both said screw it all! I told him if he doesn't love me then there is no reason to stay with me. He then sand well then you can go file papers. Me, crying and pissed beyond belief told him if he wants to leave he can do it himself. I'm not filing for divorce when he's the one that wants to leave his family!
    So I call my mom and ask her advice on things. (I am starting a daycare in our house and am 1 step away from being licensed and was so confused if I should give that up or try and keep the house and support my kids alone) Instead of her giving me advice she decided to make me feel like a piece of shit for letting my life end up this way. I absolutely couldn't believe she couldn't just be my mom for 1 phone call. She only ever does that kind of shit to me! Like everything bad is always my fault! So needless to say that was the end of conversation with her. The rest of that day i was so heart broken and hurt. He decided to file divorce papers online that night cause I told him I would not do it!
    The next day I talked to my step mom and got the best advice I could have gotten! She told me to be calm. Which for me is really hard when I'm hurt! She said when he comes to see the kids today, don't yell scream or fight with him. Talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel and what you would like out of this divorce. So I did what she said... While he was packing his things I started a nice civil conversation with him. He seemed like he was actually listening to me and understanding where I was coming from and that all I ever asked of him was to show me that he cared about me. We went outside and talked for about 2 hours (which we haven't done in forever)! We decided we where going to take the kids to dinner and see how it went. Well he ended up unpacking his things and staying home with us. We spent the rest of the night talking and holding each other like we were just meeting for the first time! I loved every minute of it!! So I think for now, we are both going to give this marriage 100% of everything we have and really try this time. I hope for my sake and both of my kids sakes that we can make it work and get back to where we were happy! Wish I could tell the future and know for certain but I can't so the only way I will know if I'm making the right choice to stay and see what the future holds for us.

    Thanks for everyone's advice! But I feel like I owe it to my kids to try and make it thru this really rough time whether it works or not. Only time will tell. Thanks everyone! !

    Sorry this was so long..
  • I wish you the best sweets <3
  • Im glad things were sorted out. :)
  • edited July 2013
    I'm sorry about your mom, but that's great news that you're trying to work it out with your husband, that's the best thing if it's possible. I hope everything goes well and you two can continue to talk things out and rekindle the fire.
  • Im sorry about ur mom and not exactly being supportive but im glad u guys talked and are going to try. Like I said earlier normally I wouldn't stick around after cheating but after a marriage commitment and children I think it's great you guys are trying. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers I hope all works out well :)
  • Thank you @jules @wilsomom @perly @pregoagainyay
    I hope it works this time around. We've been trying for a while now! @faith was the one who got me to stay and try in the first place. I was hoping my hubby would be like hers and prove to me that everything was going to be better. I guess mine is a bit slower than hers lol. Oh well. I will keep you all posted if anything changes. But I can promise if things don't change and he doesn't show any change, I Will NOT be sticking around to give him another chance! This will be the final attempt! Let's hope it goes in mind and my children's favor!
    %%-
  • Well I think its good ur giving it one last try and know that ur not just gonna settle at the same time. I hope he changes and if not ur gonna stand strong not only for urself but for ur kids after all they will never be totally happy until u are :)
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