who would you leave your children with? (last will)

I have been wanting to put my last will and testament together for a while, and obviously, my boys would stay with my husband should anything happen to me, but heaven forbid, if anything happens to the both of us, I cannot decide who to leave my boys with. Both of our parents are out. Both sets are getting older and are not that healthy. There are some siblings on both sides I I know can't handle two more kids on their hands, there are some siblings on both sides I don't want to leave my kids with because I don't think they would raise them the way I'd want my boys brought up. I'm down to two brothers on my husband's side and one brother and one sister on my side.
The first on my husband's side is his oldest brother. he's married, has a great job, makes lots of money so I know they'd be provided for, they have four girls that are older, so they'd have lots ofmothering love around them, also i think they would like having a cocouple of boys. :-) The downer here is he's like crazy obsessed with marathons and triathlons to where he'll only visit family if there's a race going on where they live, his girls got active in races just so they could spend more time with him and he's kind of a cheap skate. ya know the difference between being frugal and just being cheap? He crosses the line into cheap. that sounds petty, but I don't want my boys Christmas present to be a picture that hung in their bathroom for years and still has a layer of dust all over it. (true story, they gave it to me).
His other brother is married, also has a great job, has one boy and one girl and another on the way. They live near my in laws so they could see grandparents. he went to college so he'd know how and what to do to set them up for that when the time comes. The downer here is he's not that healthy, he has problems gaining weight, hyper thryoid, and he's had pain in his stomach for years and they have no idea what's causing it. the other downer is he is so super spoiled by his parents that he still acts like a child sometimes.
My brother is so sweet, has his own business, is married, has a daughter from a previous marriage and four boys with his second marriage. He's not as conservative as the rest of my family, which I love, he's funny and loving. he Iives near my parents and most of my family so they'd be close with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. the downside here is he's already got five kids and I'm not sure how on board his wife would be. I love his wife, she's just hard to read sometimes so I have no idea how she would take this.
My sister has always been great with kids. She's loving, patient, she's married and has three boys of her own. she stays at home, her husband's a farmer. they're both fun, nice, religious, and their boys are great (all of the kids from each of these scenarios are great). :-) the downside here, is I'm not sure they could afford to more boys.
sorry it's so long, I just wanted an outsiders perspective on this cause I know I'm bias and would want them to be with my side of the family, but is that really the best option? I just needed to get all my thoughts down!

Comments

  • Well it's very hard and I know just like you no one ever is perfect and obviously can't replace us. However I just tell myself I'm not perfect neither is my husband and just like you never know what may happen but good to be ready..if I were u I would talk to all of them just casually not saying im thinking you or anything. Just ask what do you guys have set for your kids if something happens..that will help you a lot I think! But so far if I were you I would either go with your sister or his brother the one that does marathons sounds like great candidate. I mean he may be super frugal but better then teaching your kids that money grows in trees. Sounds like he could teach them to be responsible and careful and he sounds healthy which is important. And his wife sounds nice too. But talking to them see what their thoughts are you will get to know better what they really are about help you see if that's what you want for your kids as well. I've talked to my sister about it which really helped.
  • @jules thanks! that's a great idea!!! I'll definitely talk to them casually first. it's such a tough decision! and one I definitely don't want to think about, but have to cause I want to know they'll be taken care of if we're gone. thanks so much for responding.
  • My husband and I had this conversation last year both our siblings aren't right for our kids our parents are to old and have personal issues. We were telling sons godfather and wife this and they said they wanted both kids if something were to happen to us. Even their own two kids our boys are same age. Its who we wanted to take our kids if something were to happened but didn't want them forced bringing it up in casual conversation is the best to see what everyone's thoughts are
  • I'd go w the sister and just make sure u have good life ins set up on u and ur husband so money would never b the option. That's just my opinion from what I read. I have no clue who I'd ever pick for my kids. I know we need to have something set up. Only u could ever possibly know who u would want. I think my #1 thought would be... Who knows my heart best? Who could instal the same feelings of my heart into my child's heart?
  • @debs that's so awesome!!! it's so great to have those connections with close friends to be able to do that!
    @ mommyof3girls I LOVE that!!!!! Such a wonderful way to look at it! It's definitely something we'll have to pray about.
    thank you all for your input. it's just helpful to me to get other perspectives.
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