considering trying for our 3rd

edited December 2013 in Getting pregnant
We just had an accidental chem preg. Hubs is signed up for his vas in 17 days. We were going to stop at 2 (we have 2 girls a 2 yr old and a 10 month old) because of the horrible post partum anxiety disorder that i suffered with our first. We both would like another but are afraid of me going through ppa again. I didnt go through it with our second, just normal baby blues. I stayed on my anxiety meds while preg with our youngest and am still on them. We are afraid to roll the dice but also dont want to have any regrets. Any experiences? Opinions? Statistics? Thinking we were preg really has made us reconsider the vasectomy. I do not care to hear anyone's opinions of me being on benzodiazepines now or while i was preg, that is between me and my Dr!!

Comments

  • HAHA You're too funny. :) Here's my opinion. I think you always regret the child you didn't have but never regret the ones you do have. I also think whatever you choose is and will be the right choice for your family. It's normal to have second thoughts facing a vasectomy, and maybe you both need a little more time to process that decision if you choose to go ahead. There's also nothing wrong with considering a third - but you should wait for me! ;-) I think if things were manageable the second time and you know the signs to look for, you and your doctor can keep on top of your mental health, so that shouldn't stop you if your heart desires three or four.... ;-)
  • *regret not having the child you're considering, I should say. I don't mean to imply anyone who chooses one or two children automatically regrets not having more. :)
  • You know what's best for your family and your body. Maybe have him freeze his sperm? I had terrible postpartum depression and wasn't all there for my first. I did placenta encapsulation for my second and feel great! But do not want more. My husband had a vasectomy a month ago and no regrets. :)
  • Here is what I think: its your choice and I know from chatting with you what a great mother you are no matter what challenges you face. I think if you're seriously wondering if its a mistake that is a sign he shouldn't do it. This recent pregnancy may be a good indicator on whether you should go ahead and continue with the vasectomy or plan for a third. I know you were actually excited and looking forward to another child and wanted 2 more. I think you and him should sit and talk it over and go from there. As long as you know the signs and you and your doctor feel comfortable you being on certain medications that is all that matters. You're a responsible and loving person and wonderful mom. I personally would love to see you have another - your girls are gorgeous! Always here for you no matter what!
  • You ladies are such a great support system and really put a smile on my fave and put me at ease. Its amazing the long distance friendships that we have all developed!! @ourlittlenugget thank you!! That is such a true statement ab never regretting the ones that we do have. We had a long talk last night and he is scared,not saying he is calling off the vasectomy yet but going to give it more thought bc he has always wanted four kids. Are you ready to try for another? Thank goodness my Dr's rock and are very proactive!! @luvmy5 thank you, you are so sweet and that means a lot!!! We both cried when we found out it was a chemical (he tried to hide it but I saw him tear up and he told me he was already so excited) and the wheels have been turning like crazy ever since. I told him that I've already beaten it once and that was without knowledgeable Drs.The second one was a piece of cake and I will be angry if we close the baby making machine down. I've kicked post partums butt before, I'm ready to do it again!! @monkey_girl I was planning on doing that with my second, the lines of communication got crossed and my placenta was discarded before I could even blink. I was sad but still beat it. Did you stop at two bc you didn't want to risk it again or because your family is complete with two? Or a bit of both? I'm so happy that you were able to beat and and go on to have another baby!! Its def a taste if hell on earth but the kids make it worth every second!!
  • I put my comment to this post on the new form but I'm with everyone else as you know. And seeing your response now to our comments I once again think you both are for sure not ready to be done. And I think you can do this!!! Best of luck :)
  • My husband was suppose to get a vasectomy after his last got the paper work on it saw the Dr but held off now we are expecting another baby. I'm so happy he didn't go through with it. He didn't want anymore kids then one day he said he did. I think if your having the feeling of wanting another it doesn't go away I wanted another since two years ago but hubby said no I feel as though this child was meant to be. You seem like a very strong women and mother talk to your Dr if he thinks you can handle it I say go for it. Good luck
  • It was a bit of both. My postpartum was terrible with my first and also the pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my second I was really depressed for half my pregnancy and during the last couple of months it got a little better. I really believe that the only reason I haven't gotten postpartum depression is because of the placenta pills (they are a godsend). I'm really happy with my two girls. After my second was born it really felt like my family was complete, so we went ahead with his vasectomy. He was really nervous and doubtful at first but then he said if ever in the future we really want another child, we would adopt. There are so many children out there that are in desperate need of a good family. Love my hubby :)
  • edited December 2013
    Heehee! Are you ready to try? I definitely have a baby fever and miss being pregnant, but I recognize I have a lot on my plate with two littles 15 months apart. I've always wanted four, too. I wanted them spaced three years apart, but love that they ended up close, as it will be great for homeschool and built-in playmates. So I thought maybe two years from now? I'll be fully healed from the c-section and E1 and E2 will be more self-sufficient and able to wait or help with a new baby. Then I'll sneak the 4th in on the heels of the 3rd so they will have a sibling close in age too :)
  • Ill make it short n sweet, think you should try for another!!! Having babies is a blessing and if u want more u should go ahead!! Ur hubby obviously wants more as well if he's having second thoughts. Go for it!!!
  • I'm in the same page as our lil nugget I want 4 babies I have 2 I want a 3 one but I need this 2 to grow a lil more and I will probably sneak 2 more hopefully another boy and girl and I will be soo happy
  • I want another boy girl pair too @2lilblessings! Doesn't really matter, but it would be so darn cute! :-D
  • @ourlittlenugget i think we might try this coming cycle. If it works we will have our girls 16 months apart and then our third will be 21 months younger then Briella, our now youngest. I am planning on doing home school too :-) that is a good idea to wait until the oldest is 4 or 5...that would be really helpful!!! @adri805 thank you, i agree!!! @debs isnt it weird how our minds begin to wonder when its almost time. Im so happy that it has all worked out for you :-) @2lilblessings and @ourlittlenugget we are going to be busy mommies!!!!! @monkey_girl thats awesome, im going to look into the placenta thing more so that its not skipped next time. Thats very true that there are plenty of littles that need to be adopted!!!
  • I know my hubby said he will think about it of us having 4 I got exited I would love to be a family of 6 yea very busy but all worth it :)
  • Well ladies hubs is on board, wish us luck!!!!!! @2lilblessings what woukd we do without a little craziness?!?!?! Haha i love it!!
  • Yeay! Good luck :)
  • @Jules thank you!!! How are you and your little princess doing? Addeline right?
  • Yay !! Good luck
  • Yes Addeline is our new one :) she's doing pretty well! Trying get some schedule going so I can get some rest. My hubby works nights therefore sleeps during the day so I'm literally 24/7..up with baby at night well and day and my toddler during the day it's go go go!
  • @adri805 thank you!! @Jules that must be tricky with hubs working third shift!! I'm glad all went well, you will get a system in place before you know it. I can't wait to see pics of her!!!!
  • It's not easy and much different since with our first he was pretty much always home but I'm sure things will get easier with time!
  • @Jules is there any possibility of him going back to first shift?
  • No they have shift bids every 6 months they just had one that will start on January 4th his working Sunday 24 than monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night which are 12 hrs shifts..unfortunately when ur paramedic u have to bid based on saniority which his has an ok spot on the list bc his been doing it for long time but his only been with this company for almost year which many of they guys have been here a lot longer. Either way if he was working days he wouldn't be able to help at night bc he would need to get full nights rest. Believe it or not this shift is better cause he comes home gets nap until the afternoon and awake for couple hrs before he has to start getting ready which his able to help at that point if I really need it ya know.
  • Exciting! You are going to be busy!!! :)
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