Friend wants to....

adri805

So my friend lives with her MIL, she doesn't like her too much. They have a lot of issues. I had told her a few months ago she could stay for a little bit with me if needed. Well today she asked if she could move in. I'm almost 35 weeks. I'm getting closer to popping and to be quite honest idk if I want anyone staying with me now. I didn't mind before months back but now that I'm almost due I would just like my peace and quiet. She has a 2 month old and a 1 yr old. Idk if I can handle 2 more kids besides my 2 tht I already have. Idk where she would sleep besides my futon in my living room and where she would put her sons crib. I have a two bedroom and am not going to boot my kids out of their room and not to b a B but I'm not giving up my room either. I think she would help with food but that's it. I feel terrible bc I'm just not sure what to say. She wants to move in/stay with me starting tomorrow.

My2Boys

Um... Do you have a husband or bf?? I totally blame it on him and say he said no not with the baby coming so soon and say he is nervous about being a dad to two. If not idk but I feel the same way you would.

adri805

@my2boys yes lol, I do but he's currently on "vacation" and I'm hoping he's not gone for much longer. He would probably say no too just bc of how far I am. I feel bad if I say no but right now is the worst timing. I just want my peace and quiet for the few weeks I have left. I can deal with my 2 kids but how am I gna tell her to keep her little ones quiet when I'm trying to nap? It's hard for me to be a bitch unless I'm really annoyed.

jules

Well if she's good friend I would just be honest that your too far along and don't think it's best to have so many people in the home especially if baby was to come plus your bf won't like the idea.

debs

After first I was thinking that would be great to have extra help but her having two kids of her own sounds non relaxing. I would try to be honest with her that you don't think its a good idea this close to your due date and don't want it to ruin your friendship if becomes to much to handle for you. Tell you already feel overwhelmed

adri805

I do feel overwhelmed already!! U hit it spot on! @debs
@jules she's a friend but not someone I would consider a good friend. I haven't known her for long. Since July of this past year so that's why it feels a little harder to say no bc if it was a good friend I know they would understand and wouldn't be offended

jules

Well if you aren't that close its not even appropriate for her to ask if you ask me..I wouldn't even put a good friend on the spot like that..have you said anything to her about it?

adri805

I was thinking that too, that we aren't that close to begin with and she hasn't known me for long which is why I didn't say yes. I told her yesterday that I wasn't going to be in town til Sunday since she wanted to move in today. To be honest I was thinking about it and it kind of makes me question her priorities....so her fiancé is away til June. She's been saving up money living with her future mother in law bc they r supposed to get married in July or whenever they planned it for, this summer. Yes it would b nice to have a nice wedding but why would she just use some of that money as a deposit for her own place??? @jules

jules

Yes I agree my hubby and I had must amazing wedding I could imagine because it was planned in very short period of time and my family planned the whole thing well they asked what we wanted but did it for us. It was on a lake our favorite one just my parents aunt uncle cousins pastor and close family friend couple we know and photographers. I found my dress two days before my hubby wore tux he had. Besides the rings and our marriage license we didn't buy anything. We're gonna have big celebration for everyone this or next year but it was more important for us to get our house, new car, and we wanted to get pregnant with our second as soon possible so we wanted to have money put away for that. So I agree it's nice to have wedding but that's not the important thing in marriage so for me personally other things are much more important.

SalasMommy

So she is saving up money for her wedding but wants to bunk up with you? Ahh no. And she isn't a close friend double No. I understand if she is in danger or something but just bc she doesn't get along with her MIL im sorry no unless you need help with bills there should be no reason why you should bc its in no way helping you. If she has enough money for a fancy wedding she has enough money for a place a studio is cheap now a days. Plus you need complete relaxation or at least as much as you can get with your babies your life is about to get really hectic all over again

adri805

@salasmommy thank u!!!! That's exactly how I feel. All that didn't even cross my mind til today out if nowhere. I was like wait a minute!!!! She just wants to stay with me to continue saving money! Her MIL convinced her to move in with her in august I think....she had her own place before that. It would be nice to have help with some of the bills just to have some extra money to stock up in diapers and wipes for when my daughter comes but at the same time even if I'm struggling, I will figure it out and I will make it. I would honestly rather be a bit stressed out and struggling by myself then to have someone stay with me at this point just bc I value my space, peace+quiet, and my sanity as well as my daughters space. It's going to be hectic enough with a new baby, for myself and my two daughters to adjust to their sister without adding 3 more people.

@jules yes I totally agree with u! She was trying to put her two cents about the way my husband and I got married and i told her it's not about the glitz and glamour!! She basically said that it wasn't good enough. Tht her and her bf had thought about it but that it wasn't nice enough in so many words. I was annoyed!

jules

Well sounds like you guys don't know each other that well for her to live there. And she's kinda was rude so I don't see any reason to even consider her being in your home..sounds like she's only thinking about herself. Not what might be easier for you or best for her kids. She should be saving to provide roof over their head but a wedding. I would just tell her it's not the best time right now.

SalasMommy

yessss I also am a very private person yeesh I moved to the country because I LOVEEEEEE MY space lol I cant imagine having to take the room of my boys and giving it to someone plus being ready to pop. And hey if you struggle you struggle u will figure it out like you said but its better to live alone.

adri805

@jules @salasmommy I brought to up to my husband today and he was very surprised that she asked. He said he has heard a lot of negative things about her. He said I need to be careful who I consider a friend and that he's been told that I shouldn't trust her. Very odd. I didn't bother asking him what bc I had more important topics to cover before we had to hang up.

jules

Well it's sure good thing you both don't want her in the home then. Maybe he will explain later. When are un gonna talk with her? I wish you luck don't worry especially now after what your husband said. If she doesn't take it well and you two are no longer "friends" well maybe that's what was ment to be and this was Gods way of showing it.

adri805

@jules yes u r right...I don't talk to her often. Maybe once a week. We live in the same town but we never hang out. We have once back in July I believe. Or august. The last time I saw her was when I went to go c her at the hospital when she had her son in November.

jules

Oh man I wouldn't feel bad at all bad timing and not really necessary if you ask me. Plus you two aren't close at all. So don't feel bad

adri805

@jules thanks! It makes me feel better thG I am not just being mean...it's hard for me to say no but this time around is a little too Much for me to say no.

jules

Yes I have a lot of those moments but try to just focus on the goal and that in the end it will all be okay and worth it. Let me know how it goes!

adri805

@jules thank u, will do