finally broke down and cried today (warning long story)
I have been feeling very depressed for a while now and i feel worse every day. I cannot wait until my dr appointment in 3 days
even tho its not a us scan i can tell him about my worsening depression.
I know its not all hormones.
if i had better friends and a better bd than i know i couldve really been enjoying this pregnancy. Ive been ready to be a mom and ive always looked forward to it and thought it would be the best feeling when it happened.
But i never realized back then that everyone would turn there back on me. I feel forgotten. My boyfriend of 5 years and who shared a home with me, packed his things and left me the same day we found out i was pregnant. I was in shock.
So i moved out of our home and stayed with my best best friend who was like my sister we saw eachother everyday and were really close. At the time of my break up, she was in the process of seperating from her boyfriend and moving out of there shared home and into her own, so she asked if i would come with her and stay in her new place even tho i wasn't working at the time (i had just been hired at a senior care centre and was going through weeks of training before i started bringing money home)
And i know she did it for two reasons; to help me through my devastating break up and trying to find a dr who would see me with pending but not active health insurance, and to help her get through the transition of living with a SO to being single and alone and independant.
Nevertheless i was happy to and grateful to have a place to stay and a supportive friend.
I stayed with her for about 2 and a half months. During that time i got served from my ex and he sued me for $1800 for the property he left in our residence and i had to pay for to uhaul out and into storage so i could move out!!!!! Seriously it was bad and ugly. So the b*tch judge judy-actin lady awarded him every single thing and i had absolutely nothing to my name.
Fast forward to me moving out of my friends place and into a house that I'm renting. I work full time so at least i know i can support myself and will have a nice house for my baby and will make it as a single Mom.
however my ex has not spoken to me since the day before thanksgiving which was our court date. Actually he never n said a word to me then it was just go in,judge,leave seperatley. So he hasn't spoken to me since the night he moved out which was oct.14 ill never forget the day that changed my life.
So he's not helping me or supporting me in any way won't pay for shit won't even take my phone calls or texts.
And ever since i moved out of my friends, she has completley blown me off forgotten about me. Never answers her phone or responds to messages. And when she does she's too busy to do even the littlest thing like coffee or lunch or shopping. I haven't even seen her since beginning of january.
I work graveyard every night and i sit in my house completely alone all day every single day. (It sure does save gas and money tho).
but I'm so sad n lonely
I called my Dad to see if he wanted to get a bite to eat and i just broke down crying on the phone, which took a lot for me because i don't show my family when I'm not doing good. I feel like i have to be strong and independant and get through anything because i left home at 17, worked, got my first apartment and have been on my own since and I've always felt i need to solve my own problems and id never have to ask for help and my Dad, who raised me w/o my Mom, always said he was proud and supported my decision to be a grown up, so u see why i don't want to show weakness.
And i recently took my Mom into my house so she could leave her abusive husband and get a restraing order on him. So she lives with me and its absolutley awful! She drives me INSANE always arguing with me always got an attitude always nosy in my room in my bathroom in my business she has no boundaries its so stressful.
Sooo that's my back story. That's my life. It makes me want to drive on the interstate and never look back! But with a baby on the way that's obviously not a sensible option.
What the heck should i do?
Give my Mom the payments on the house and move out on my own?
Stick around and see if life gets better?
It can't get worse.
Any advice or comments would make me feel a little less alone. Thanks and sorry i wrote such a long story but it did help a tad to get if off my chest and tell somebody who will listen lol
even tho its not a us scan i can tell him about my worsening depression.
I know its not all hormones.
if i had better friends and a better bd than i know i couldve really been enjoying this pregnancy. Ive been ready to be a mom and ive always looked forward to it and thought it would be the best feeling when it happened.
But i never realized back then that everyone would turn there back on me. I feel forgotten. My boyfriend of 5 years and who shared a home with me, packed his things and left me the same day we found out i was pregnant. I was in shock.
So i moved out of our home and stayed with my best best friend who was like my sister we saw eachother everyday and were really close. At the time of my break up, she was in the process of seperating from her boyfriend and moving out of there shared home and into her own, so she asked if i would come with her and stay in her new place even tho i wasn't working at the time (i had just been hired at a senior care centre and was going through weeks of training before i started bringing money home)
And i know she did it for two reasons; to help me through my devastating break up and trying to find a dr who would see me with pending but not active health insurance, and to help her get through the transition of living with a SO to being single and alone and independant.
Nevertheless i was happy to and grateful to have a place to stay and a supportive friend.
I stayed with her for about 2 and a half months. During that time i got served from my ex and he sued me for $1800 for the property he left in our residence and i had to pay for to uhaul out and into storage so i could move out!!!!! Seriously it was bad and ugly. So the b*tch judge judy-actin lady awarded him every single thing and i had absolutely nothing to my name.
Fast forward to me moving out of my friends place and into a house that I'm renting. I work full time so at least i know i can support myself and will have a nice house for my baby and will make it as a single Mom.
however my ex has not spoken to me since the day before thanksgiving which was our court date. Actually he never n said a word to me then it was just go in,judge,leave seperatley. So he hasn't spoken to me since the night he moved out which was oct.14 ill never forget the day that changed my life.
So he's not helping me or supporting me in any way won't pay for shit won't even take my phone calls or texts.
And ever since i moved out of my friends, she has completley blown me off forgotten about me. Never answers her phone or responds to messages. And when she does she's too busy to do even the littlest thing like coffee or lunch or shopping. I haven't even seen her since beginning of january.
I work graveyard every night and i sit in my house completely alone all day every single day. (It sure does save gas and money tho).
but I'm so sad n lonely
I called my Dad to see if he wanted to get a bite to eat and i just broke down crying on the phone, which took a lot for me because i don't show my family when I'm not doing good. I feel like i have to be strong and independant and get through anything because i left home at 17, worked, got my first apartment and have been on my own since and I've always felt i need to solve my own problems and id never have to ask for help and my Dad, who raised me w/o my Mom, always said he was proud and supported my decision to be a grown up, so u see why i don't want to show weakness.
And i recently took my Mom into my house so she could leave her abusive husband and get a restraing order on him. So she lives with me and its absolutley awful! She drives me INSANE always arguing with me always got an attitude always nosy in my room in my bathroom in my business she has no boundaries its so stressful.
Sooo that's my back story. That's my life. It makes me want to drive on the interstate and never look back! But with a baby on the way that's obviously not a sensible option.
What the heck should i do?
Give my Mom the payments on the house and move out on my own?
Stick around and see if life gets better?
It can't get worse.
Any advice or comments would make me feel a little less alone. Thanks and sorry i wrote such a long story but it did help a tad to get if off my chest and tell somebody who will listen lol
Comments
Your ex sounds like a class "a"butthole! Your mom needs to know bounderies! You let her stay in your home..remind her of this hun. Is your friend possibly a lil jealous of the baby?
And my Mom is just never going to change. This is why i didn't grow up with her i could never put up with the bsbut i try to help and i figure it will benefit me because she will be helping take care of baby when we come home from hospital and i will be able to rest better and go back to work after just one month. But man id rather be on my own with babys needs than deal with this crap.
And as for my friend. I know what her deal is. She is 23, gorgeous, and makes a ton of money working as a cocktail waitress and can do whatever her heart desires
She can drink go clubbing party it up and i don't blame her at all because before i was pregnant we did those things together and where inseperable and i can't tell u now much i miss getting all dollled up and having a crazy night on the town with my best friend. Why should she have to stop just because I'm knocked up? But i still miss her and i wish she would make time for other things besides drinking clubs and hangovers.
I cried while reading your comment i had to stop and go to the bathroom because i couldn't see lol thank u so much i never hear good words I'm always in an arguement at home
And i definitley plan on going for child support been planning on it since he started packing his bag
What city are moving to for your new start?
I haven't decided where i want to move yet
i love hot weather and being in water so i want a summery place i loved hot summers in vegas lol
And i haven't decided whose last name yet. It would be easier if i didn't hate my last name lol (broughton) i always got made fun of growing up because it rymes with rotten.
My exs last name is blanco and it flows well with adrien.
It depends on if the Dad comes around in time for birth. If he is there and shows initiative for his first born son i will most likely give my son his fathers name.
Have u picked names already or r u waiting before u start coming up with your favorites? I knew i wanted to be a momma before i was pregnant but i never thought of names for my future babies guess i was scared it would never happen if i got too excited and i would be disappointed.
Seems to be that way for everything else lol
But it happened one day and it tool me a lot of time and reading and web surfing to come up with a name good enough for my little boy and now he will be here in less than 14 weeks
girls- #1 Khloie Ann Marie & #2 Mayzie Lyric Noelle
girl/boy- same #1 & Mhyles Matthew Monroe & if we have
boys- Khollin Matthew & Mhyles Monroe
What combo are u pulling for?