need advice on turning down a baby shower

Momma2joe

I know it may seem odd.... but I had a friend that I use to be close with and alot of things have happened and I really don't consider us friends anymore. She doesn't know this and thinks we are still good friends. She was the one who gave me two showers for my son who is now 19 months old. One at work one at her house. I suspect she's trying to give me a shower for this baby now. She's the type that goes out of her way and would want to make it a surprise as my last ones were. She has sent me 3 invites this month for a demonstration party. The first one I turned down and said I had to work. The second one was for the 20th and i will be out of town with my daughter. The 3rd one I just got yesterday and it is for the 19th. Seems odd to be having the same demonstration party 3 times in a month. Plus someone from work ask me if I was going because she was invited too. She's the same person that helped with one of my showers from my son. She keeps asking where I'm registered. As I don't know for sure if it is for the shower I feel like regardless I should just tell her I'm not going. But nit sure how to do it without coming across rude. I don't want to accept a shower from someone I don't want to be around. I had planned to tell her ill try and make it this time but only so she will stop asking. I don't want to do that if she's trying to plan a shower. Please help

PreggoGiggles

How come she has no idea that you aren't friends anymore? I had a situation like this, where I was close with a friend and things happened. I made sure she knew that what happened wasn't ok and neither were we. If you aren't friends then just let her know that either you aren't friends or just tell her that if she is planning a surprise for you that you aren't interested. You will get yourself into a much bigger mess if you just try to avoid her and make up excuses. Just tell her.

LittleFae

I'm kinda in the same boat. Only we were friends and I told her she could hold one for me (this was when I was ttc) but then I found out she was using me and lieing to me during a time I was helping her through some tough times.
I've been trying to come up with a way to kindly say that I now longer want to be around her or her drama without sounding like a bitch.
I've been told by a lot of people that I am to nice and people use me....I need to find my girl balls and stand up for myself.
Wish I had some good advice for you. Good luck

Momma2joe

Just as much as she will go out of her way to help you she will go out of her way to hurt you or the ones you love. One of the reasons I no longer have anything to do with her is because a few years ago I got her a really good paying job working with me. About 2/3 months ago I found out that she was coming in to work and then leaving for hours to go shopping in the mall. This is considered time fraud. It is our job to protect the companies assets. We fire people all the time for the same exact thing as she was doing. I turned her in and she got fired. She already suspects it was me but would never truly believe it was. If she knew the truth things would get ugly. I don't care about what she says to me or about me but I have a 14 year old daughter that used to be friends with her daughter and I could only imagine the drama they would create for my daughter. So I figured it would just be easier to avoid her.

82mileyrae

I rather have someone tell me the truth than avoid me. Its kind of mean because of you say you'll be there then don't show that's worse than just getting her fired.

Momma2joe

I forgot to mention I let her put her phone in my name. I'd like for her to not run the bill you. I was only going to say I was going if it is a demonstration party. The problem is I don't know for sure. Your right but I'd never knowingly let her plan a shower then not show up.