The absolute hardest day of my life.

momofSOONtobe7

Yesterday I had to say good bye to my little peanut. Want to talk about hard! I had to have the D&C done because at my last appoitment for my ultrasound they didn't see a heart beat. They had me go in yesterday for my D&C. I posted a discussion up here about D&C's and got A LOT of helpful tips from other people that have had them done before. I again want to thank all of you for your support and comments. I did get put all the way out, but I didn't have to have the breathing tube. It was the hardest thing ever when I went into the hospital they had me there 2 hours early. Seriously WHY? Then they gave me a paper okaying them to do the procedure. On the paper it said Suction ABORTION. Are you freaking kidding me!!!! I serioualy broke down and started balling. As if it isn't already hard enough on a mother to loose their baby but to see abortion on the paper. I crabbed at the lady and told her the same thing I just said. Her response was, "well, that's the medical team for it". I was like really well they need to re-word that because as it is you have me coming in here watching people eat and drink in front of me and I haven't ate for 12 hours, sitting here 2 hours ahead of time with me having to think about this, and then seeing this abortion thing. It's completely messed up! But getting to the point. It was very hard for me to except the fact that this was it. I wasn't going to be pregnant any more, I wasn't going to be carrying a baby around any more and this was the first ever miscarriage I have had. Plus I can't grieve together with the daddy because we are in seperate houses. It makes it harder. I didn't want to give up hope that my baby wasn't there. I wanted another ultrasound to make sure but I didn't get that option. I have done nothing but cry myself to sleep and think about what I could of done differently. This by far besides loosing a loved one has been the hardest thing ever in my life. I hope once I am all healed up and the time is right I will get pregnant again. I am a little bit sore and having some mild bleeding. It's really hard to stay still with 4 kiddos jumping around, which I am very thankful for! If there is anyone on here that is going through the same thing or has gone though it I am open to talking about it. I realy think Pregly needs to start up a category for grieving mothers. It helps to talk to other mothers that have lost a child or children. Especially when they have no one else that really either doesn't understand or when you just don't have anyone! All I have to say is,
R.I.P little peanut Brady mommy and daddy will never forget you and we love you!!! You are our little angel that we will one day see and meet!!!

[Deleted User]

I'm so sorry girl): I fortunately did not have to have a d&c and misscarried naturally at 13w it was so hard to see my little boy lifeless. I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better now, but it does get their better. Hang in there!

momofSOONtobe7

See I had that option but I couldn't come to terms of doing that. I am sorry for your loss as well. It is very hard but I am slowly over coming it! It was hard to see a lifeless heartbeatingless child that you thought all along was ok just laying there inside of you! Very hard!!!! It will take time but I know I will get through it! Thanks appreciate it!!!

[Deleted User]

Yeah I thought everything was fine too..then Valentines day morning thats what I got ): thought I'd never get through it. If you need anything feel free to message me(:

melinda326

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost a baby around this time last year & I too already had 4 kids with never a problem. I did miscarry on my own without needing a D/C, but I know the pain of loosing a child no matter how far along one is. It was very difficult for & my hubby to deal with. I felt like we were expecting a boy & we named him Noah. Our angel who we will see once again. As each day went by I just thanked God for the opportunity to have even had him inside me even if for only a short amount of time. Only God knows why these things happen. But 6 months later we got pregnant again which has helped me through my healing process. This baby boy is due in July and I am so thankful & blessed to have another and I font ever wanna take this for granted as I feel I kinda have before in just thinking that I had all these healthy, easy pregnancies & babies. But now I look @ this differently and am enjoying each day that goes by. Life is precious! I pray that each day gets better & easier for as you heal emotionally & physically. You ever need to talk or vent just message me. Blessings to you & your family.

Tanners_Mommy

I've never miscarried that I know of but I got pregnant when I was 17 and had a still born at 27 weeks and that just tore me apart so I know kinda how you fell I'm now 18 will be 19 in July and am 11 weeks and 1 day with baby #2 and I constantly worry about if this baby will be okay. But over time the pain eases but doesn't go away at least not for me... Not a day goes by I don't think about my baby boy and how he would be now but I think a grieving thing would be nice helpful to lots of women like us. Anyway best of luck getting prego again keep your head up honey I'm here if you need someone to talk to. My prayers are with you through this hard time

[Deleted User]

I went through the same thing last year hun. I had just had my daughter 4 months before when we found out we were expecting but we were so excited! Scared but excited as the baby was totally unexpected. Right around 11 weeks my doctor had me come in for a dating scan. I didn't feel right with the pregnancy but never expected to be told baby didn't have a heartbeat and only grew to 7 weeks to top it off that was the friday before mothers day and my d&c wasn't scheduled until Monday (day after mothers day) so I went through my very first mothers day as a mommy knowing I was carding a dead baby inside me that was the hardest thing I ever went through in my entire life!! My husband and I started fighting so much after it but luckily we got through it. In a way I felt like I should blame him, but my doctor reassured me it was neither of our faults and it has now made us closer and our marriage stronger. I was advised to wait 2 cycles, my periods were very irregular afterwards and my second period showed up august 14th (they were around every 7 weeks and before they were 28 days apart like clockwork) we decided to give September a shot to try and if it didn't happen we were going to wait until this summer....got a positive pregnancy test September 30th!! Im now 27 weeks and 2 days pregnant with baby girl #2. But let me tell you this has been the scariest pregnancy EVER!! Luckily I have an amazing doctor which has been by my side this whole time and with all of my pregnancies that understands and he gave me an ultrasound every week until week 13. My baby girl looks perfect! Give yourself time and try again. It is the hardest thing to ever experience and I would never ever wish it on ANYONE! Best of luck sweetie and im very sorry for your loss.

Tanners_Mommy

I had my son may 12 last year. The last time I felt him move was on mothers day. I wanted so bad to be a mommy and look a got a second chance.

momofSOONtobe7

Wow I can't express my dearest sympathy to you all. It is very hard that is 100% true. I was 15 when I got pregnant with my first one and had her at 16. I couldn't imagine loosing a baby at that age! Im almost certain that it would of been harder being not some mature and understanding how to cope with the loss of your own child at that age. It was hard enough as it was at the age of 25 now. I give you all props ladies!!!! I finally broke down tonight and wrote my little guy a letter. I know he will never read it but it helped out a lot. I balled the whole time I wrote it but it made me feel a lot better!! I think as time goes on the pain will subside. Nothing will ever make me forget about my little angel! Good luck ladies with your future pregnancys and with your children you have now. I am on facebook also if anyone would want to become friends and chat id enjoy that!!! Just let me know. Thanks again ladies for all of your support in my hard time! You all have really helped me out!!!!!