I really don't see you in any position getting mad at her its only a 3 year age difference. How old were you when you got pregnant?? However i got pregnant at 18 and couldn't be happier.
Over all, i think that a good parent is not decided on age. A teen can be a good parent as much as a 30 year old. The problem is that not many teens are good parents. When i was in high school, girls were getting pregnant left and right. They gave birth and before the baby was a month old, they had already switched boyfriends and were out and about going to parties and drinking and having sex. Those teens are the ones that (excuse my French) fuck it up for the responsible ones. In my opinion, a 17 year old does not have the need to become a mother and a wife. I learned it the hard way and i now understand.
I too can see both sides. In my opinion she's too young, but I'm not saying at all that young people can't be good parents. IM 22 and I think I'm still young but I think I am good mother for my like girl . And I don't think that @char was trying to be rude just making her opinion. But one thing I have comment on is the fact that I have always loved children and always wanted to be a mother and therefore yes it's good to be financially stable to support your family and children but I'm the kind of person who makes sure my family is taken care of but have never cared for the idea of living up my 20s and having everything possible. I like said before wanted children and to me family comes first to me this is living it up. And I'm not trying to be rude or say that the way you did it was wrong at all just differently then me. However regarding her sister if they want baby that much many they need a big sister to guide them. Maybe give her advice on taking some parenting classes, some relationship classes to see if this is person she wants to spend rest of her life with and have her children with. And go from there maybe she just needs someone to paint the bigger life picture for her ya know. Maybe even ask her what else would she like to do with her life where does she see herself down the line. Just give her some food for thought.
@Char yay for you for waiting and getting yourself grounded before starting. I honestly wish i would of waited. I'm 26 with 3 kids and married and my hubby and i talk all the time how if we didnt have kids or even if we just had 1 that we would of been in a house already. We don't regret our kids at all but i will be honest and admit that when i read fb statuses of ppl that are younger than me that i went to school with buying a house i get really jealous.
Now as for the 17 issue not everyone is the same some ppl are way more mature than others and some 17 yr olds are graduated. My 24 yr old sister is still not mature enough to be a mother but she is. And she sucks ass TRUST ME! But it isn't easy and just because she "wants" a baby doesn't mean she is magically going to get one.
You need to sit down with her calmly and tell her while u don't regret having ur baby it's not easy like it seems she should be out having fun and planning her future I love my kids and wouldn't Chang a thing but I'm only 22 with a 3 year old and 1 year old and I wish I had more time to be young and wild and be financially set cuz it is a struggle everyday trying to make ends meet I would not want my son or daughter to grow up and take the path I did I want them to be able to be young
Why is it your responsibility to talk to your sister? Where are your parents? I'm also thankful I waited to have kids until I was in my 30's. We are financially stable, own a home, and I get to stay home with them.
@brookiesbaby The reason everyone is telling to talk to her is bc of the comments that were made imo. If she is google baby making and whatnot then imo her parents are not giving her the information she needs. With the right sister a nice talk can go much father than the same talk from a parent. The one thing I couldn't do now is work!!! I want my baby with me at sll times.
@2boys1girl2love I waited until I knew I was ready. I know I would have been the worlds shitiest mother 5 years ago. Now my boy is the light of my life and I would kill, die or do anything else to keep him safe. But five years ago I would have ended up losing any kids I had. My mom had me at 17 and I learned from her mistake. She is a great mom but struggling all of her 20's took its toll on her. My mom and I are very close bc heck we are 17 years apart she was my age now when I turned 18.
@char I have an older sister and I understand the whole, "listening more than your parents". I was just curious why their mom hasn't talked to them about this and kept them informed. I guess I was just raised in a different time. My mom and dad would've beat me if I came home pregnant at 17. I have mad props to you ladies that are doing it/have done it but its not for me. I wanted to live and establish my life to share it with my children.
At least to me, there is no valid reason why a 17 year old NEEDS to have a baby at that age. A baby should be conceived when there is a stable home and income to support it. Im sorry if it offends anyone, but it is the truth. There is no life threatening reason why a 17 year old NEEDS to have a baby.
@perly I agree!!! The one thing that I've seen hold true is a regret ( for lack of a better word) around the late twenties early 30's, because they didn't get to live first. Shoot party, go to college, find the right person babies are work that require a great deal if patients. I know I didn't have it that young I couldn't even handle a dog.
My mom had me at 16 and im alive, not saying is ok or that she should have a baby.. but just saying that if it does happen she will be ok. just try to sit with her and calmly explain to her the many reasons why she shouldnt have a baby, but dont push it too much or she will probably do it because she knows everybody will be against it, you know how teens tend to be. i hope it turns out for the best.
I had my oldest at 16. I got married. I never needed any assistance and we are financially set. It all depends on the individual. There are teens who make good parents and teens who don't. Same with older men and women. You could be 30 and not be a good parent. It hinges on the person, not the age. Now, I am not saying teens should have babies, because they shouldn't, but it happens. Not all are going to fail and not all are going to succeed. But the attitude given by the OP is not necessary.
@luvmy5 Just curious are you like a genius that got out of college crazy young? Because I don't see how a high school student can be financially set. Or was it parents or bf that was set?
Because my point is in those cases u end up 100% dependent on that person. My personality would never allow me to b dependent like that. I am at home now but could have a job tomorrow if I wanted making at least 2k a week. That is bc I established my self first.
@moderator can you please shut this post down. Im tired of being called a liar this woman dont even know me to even judge me its no wonder alot of woman left pregly
@char No, I didn't. I also find it a bit offensive how you seem to be looking down on me. I worked, I manage money well and my husband makes great money. I got married, so it was my husband and my money. No reason for you to belittle others to make yourself seem superior. Good for you sowing your wild oats, having the ability to have a job given to you whenever you decide you would like one and for being independent. However, you should consider just because people do things differently then you chose to do does not mean you are better than them. I am nearly 30 years old, so please don't be condescending to me. At least I can form proper sentences, spell correctly, not use text speak and don't boast what I have and what I have done to make myself seem so much better than others. Does attacking someone make you feel better? I suppose if you are attacking you cannot be attacked. @moderator looks like you have 2 people who are being rude. @char and @amandas19
@luvmy5 lady I am not looking down on you at all. You said you were financially set at 16 I just didn't know how that was possible. Geez its not like I said you were trailer trash or a gold digger. I don't think any teen should be allowed to have babies.
I said that I personally could not make myself dependent on a man for my ability to survive. Thats not looking down on u you. you can do it have ever you want i don't care as long as my taxes aren't helping you do it. Some people may know that I am not working now so I made it clear I could go back to work anytime.
@AmandaS19 I think you expected everyone to side with you about the treatment of your sister. The thing of it is 17,18,19,20 most don't start to show any real life intelligence until around maybe 23-25. When you were talking about a little 17 yr old not telling you what to do is a prime example. Saying that you could have assaulted her for it really showed you being super young. You response should have been to tell her babies are hard work and it won't be easy to finish school and go to college with a child. You should have said wait live ur life and take care of ur self first. Bc it is not adult to argue with a child, and not take steps to point that child in the right direction.
Comments
However i got pregnant at 18 and couldn't be happier.
In my opinion, a 17 year old does not have the need to become a mother and a wife. I learned it the hard way and i now understand.
Now as for the 17 issue not everyone is the same some ppl are way more mature than others and some 17 yr olds are graduated. My 24 yr old sister is still not mature enough to be a mother but she is. And she sucks ass TRUST ME! But it isn't easy and just because she "wants" a baby doesn't mean she is magically going to get one.
I love my kids and wouldn't Chang a thing but I'm only 22 with a 3 year old and 1 year old and I wish I had more time to be young and wild and be financially set cuz it is a struggle everyday trying to make ends meet I would not want my son or daughter to grow up and take the path I did I want them to be able to be young
With the right sister a nice talk can go much father than the same talk from a parent. The one thing I couldn't do now is work!!! I want my baby with me at sll times.
@2boys1girl2love I waited until I knew I was ready. I know I would have been the worlds shitiest mother 5 years ago. Now my boy is the light of my life and I would kill, die or do anything else to keep him safe. But five years ago I would have ended up losing any kids I had. My mom had me at 17 and I learned from her mistake. She is a great mom but struggling all of her 20's took its toll on her. My mom and I are very close bc heck we are 17 years apart she was my age now when I turned 18.
Because my point is in those cases u end up 100% dependent on that person. My personality would never allow me to b dependent like that. I am at home now but could have a job tomorrow if I wanted making at least 2k a week. That is bc I established my self first.
I said that I personally could not make myself dependent on a man for my ability to survive. Thats not looking down on u you. you can do it have ever you want i don't care as long as my taxes aren't helping you do it. Some people may know that I am not working now so I made it clear I could go back to work anytime.
@AmandaS19 I think you expected everyone to side with you about the treatment of your sister. The thing of it is 17,18,19,20 most don't start to show any real life intelligence until around maybe 23-25. When you were talking about a little 17 yr old not telling you what to do is a prime example. Saying that you could have assaulted her for it really showed you being super young. You response should have been to tell her babies are hard work and it won't be easy to finish school and go to college with a child. You should have said wait live ur life and take care of ur self first. Bc it is not adult to argue with a child, and not take steps to point that child in the right direction.