There's always a reason right? *VENT... update at top*
So... I found conversations between my husband and his ex-f'n-wife... Very graphic convo's talkin about how he wants her to grind on him and junk. She says "I want you to make me cum so hard I can't stand"... he says "well you'll have to wait until Feb". Huh... well, see, she lives in TX... it just so happens we will BE in TX for our mother f'n ANNIVERSARY in Feb. Great, cool... hubby planned on going to screw his ex-wife while we're there. Why am I surprised? I'm not really... I mean, that old sayin "once a cheater always a cheater" right? He left his ex-wife for me... why would I assume I'm special. This isn't the first time he's been caught talking to another girl either... just the first time it happened to be his ex-wife.
Maybe this is the reason I can't keep a baby... maybe I'm not supposed to have one with him. I don't know what to do. He goes thru this periods where he finds a random girl to talk to... sometimes nothing bad, but he ACTS like it's bad because he hides it. Sometimes it's totally inappropriate. I've already been divorced once.. I wasn't planning on going thru it twice but goddamn... how often do I have to draw the line and tell him to knock it off!?? I already have self-esteem issues stemming from feeling worthless because I keep losing pregnancies... why on EARTH does he feel the need to do things to add to it?!
There are times I really just want out. More often than not though, I just chose to ignore it because it would be a nasty divorce and I know it. He's the vindictive type. But I also know that eventually, if he doesn't quit, I won't care anymore and I'll just walk away. We talk things out EVERY time... he says he understands and he doesn't mean anything by it. He won't do it again... blah blah blah..
So, my ex-boyfriend... I still talk to him because I've been friends with him since I was 15/16... well hubby keeps trying to tell me I'm not ALLOWED to talk to him because our break-up was bad (long story there, ex had a wicked case of PTSD). I talk to him anyway. I tell my husband he's not allowed to talk to the girl he CHEATED on me with... and he's trying to say it's a double standard that I can talk to my ex but he can't his... huh. Magic...
Well we're on our way back to MS from NE after xmas and I had the opportunity to give up my plane seat and receive a first class ticket on the flight out the next morning, plus a $350 travel voucher. All I would do is call my parents and have them come get me for the night. No big deal! Hubby tells me no, I can't stay in NE without him... after a while he admits because he thinks I'll go do something with my ex... WHO LIVES IN MOTHER-F'N MINNESOTA! (Which, in case you're wondering, is NOT in Nebraska...) Really? Okay, so you don't trust me at ALL even though I have NEVER given him reason not to... other than the fact that I refuse to stop talking to a friend (Nothing inappropriate BTW). Sooooo.... I need to be baby-sat because hubby has a guilty conscience? I mean really. How pathetic. I'm so aggravated at losing a $350 voucher that would let me go visit my parents one more time before I deploy because my husband has issues.
**** sooooo New years eve, as were getting ready to go to bed (im drunk as a skunk so details are hazy) he tells me that if things don't change, we need a divorce. Well wow... Okay, wtf do YOU have to complain about?? Well he says because I don't love on him anymore and he feels like a room mate... Well, asshole, why would I love on you when you're talking to other girls?!?! Who the piss are YOU to threaten ME with a divorce?! I should be the one throwing that out there, not you... So he doesn't understand that after 4 losses in 1 year, I'm just not into sex right now... On TOP of the shit he's pulling. He wants to go to counseling. I'd love to see what a counselor has to say about all this mess. This keeps getting better and better!!
Maybe this is the reason I can't keep a baby... maybe I'm not supposed to have one with him. I don't know what to do. He goes thru this periods where he finds a random girl to talk to... sometimes nothing bad, but he ACTS like it's bad because he hides it. Sometimes it's totally inappropriate. I've already been divorced once.. I wasn't planning on going thru it twice but goddamn... how often do I have to draw the line and tell him to knock it off!?? I already have self-esteem issues stemming from feeling worthless because I keep losing pregnancies... why on EARTH does he feel the need to do things to add to it?!
There are times I really just want out. More often than not though, I just chose to ignore it because it would be a nasty divorce and I know it. He's the vindictive type. But I also know that eventually, if he doesn't quit, I won't care anymore and I'll just walk away. We talk things out EVERY time... he says he understands and he doesn't mean anything by it. He won't do it again... blah blah blah..
So, my ex-boyfriend... I still talk to him because I've been friends with him since I was 15/16... well hubby keeps trying to tell me I'm not ALLOWED to talk to him because our break-up was bad (long story there, ex had a wicked case of PTSD). I talk to him anyway. I tell my husband he's not allowed to talk to the girl he CHEATED on me with... and he's trying to say it's a double standard that I can talk to my ex but he can't his... huh. Magic...
Well we're on our way back to MS from NE after xmas and I had the opportunity to give up my plane seat and receive a first class ticket on the flight out the next morning, plus a $350 travel voucher. All I would do is call my parents and have them come get me for the night. No big deal! Hubby tells me no, I can't stay in NE without him... after a while he admits because he thinks I'll go do something with my ex... WHO LIVES IN MOTHER-F'N MINNESOTA! (Which, in case you're wondering, is NOT in Nebraska...) Really? Okay, so you don't trust me at ALL even though I have NEVER given him reason not to... other than the fact that I refuse to stop talking to a friend (Nothing inappropriate BTW). Sooooo.... I need to be baby-sat because hubby has a guilty conscience? I mean really. How pathetic. I'm so aggravated at losing a $350 voucher that would let me go visit my parents one more time before I deploy because my husband has issues.
**** sooooo New years eve, as were getting ready to go to bed (im drunk as a skunk so details are hazy) he tells me that if things don't change, we need a divorce. Well wow... Okay, wtf do YOU have to complain about?? Well he says because I don't love on him anymore and he feels like a room mate... Well, asshole, why would I love on you when you're talking to other girls?!?! Who the piss are YOU to threaten ME with a divorce?! I should be the one throwing that out there, not you... So he doesn't understand that after 4 losses in 1 year, I'm just not into sex right now... On TOP of the shit he's pulling. He wants to go to counseling. I'd love to see what a counselor has to say about all this mess. This keeps getting better and better!!
Comments
We are all here for support and I really hope he comes around!! Again sorry if this sounds pushy...I mean it from a good place, I promise
@homebirthadvocate @captivated I was shocked when he told me why he didn't want me staying one more night... When I got mad he got mad right back and he said "What, the one time I actually tell you NO, you're gonna act like this?!" Which is true... he very rarely tells me no. But I felt totally justified in being angry about this.
Im assuming you both met while he was still married. Then he got a divorce to be with you. If that was the case, you might be dealing with a man that probably feels like you didn't respect yourself when you decided to have something with him knowing he had a wife, so that is why he feels he shouldn't have to respect you.
I don't want you to think that i see you as some kind of whore, because i don't but i do know that some men are assholes... especially cheaters.
In all honesty, he doesn't deserve you. It sounds like he doesn't appreciate you at all, and that is not the kind man you want in your life. You are not some piece of meat that he gets to throw around whenever he wants too. You should definitely not allow him to treat you like that. If he keeps cheating on you, he is eventually gonna catch something and pass it onto you. Cheating is not ok, no matter what the reason may be.
Only you know how much more you can handle, and if its worth going through all of that.
In my opinion, you shouldn't put up with it anymore. He will never see the true value of you until he loses you. You never know. That's probably what he needs. You leaving him might be his wake up call.
But i don't know the ex wife lol
The easy way (avoiding hassles of divorce) are almost always the wrong ones .
I left the one man that wants me unconditionally (happens to be the ex) because severe PTSD issues... Now I look back and kick myself at the situation i find myself in. Married to a man who caters to me... Most of the time... But can't seem to respect me enough to do the simplest thing ever and make me feel like I'm the one and only.