i have some choices to make...need opinions!
So this is my second pregnancy, I have a 21month old son and am due in June with a girl. My first delivery was a c section. When I found out I was pregnant I just assumed I would be having another c section. I was told at my first dr appointment that I was a good candidate for a vbac and could pursue that if I chose. My first reaction was no thanks ill stick with what I know, I never even wanted a vaginal birth with my first (that's not why I had a c section though I had every intention of having my son vaginally but he was an emergency delivery). I've been thinking about this vbac more and more though...
Here's the factors... I am really considering this to be my last pregnancy. Which brings me to my second dilemma - I have been heavily considering haveing my tubes tied after this delivery. If I choose to do so I must have a c section otherwise my Medicaid will not pay for it. 50% of family and friends have completely supported the idea of tubal ligation, 50% are not so sure I should be so drastic. I am only 21. I am not married but in a meaningful relationship with the father of my daughter to be and he's so wonderful to my son. He has 5 soon to be 6 kids and loves them all and takes good care of them all. So I have to decide if I will have a vbac or repeat c section and also taking into consideration I can only have my tubes tied if I have a c section otherwise I wait until I can afford the ligation at a later date and risk becoming pregnant in the meantime.
Opinions and experiences are much needed from other moms and families. Thanks
Here's the factors... I am really considering this to be my last pregnancy. Which brings me to my second dilemma - I have been heavily considering haveing my tubes tied after this delivery. If I choose to do so I must have a c section otherwise my Medicaid will not pay for it. 50% of family and friends have completely supported the idea of tubal ligation, 50% are not so sure I should be so drastic. I am only 21. I am not married but in a meaningful relationship with the father of my daughter to be and he's so wonderful to my son. He has 5 soon to be 6 kids and loves them all and takes good care of them all. So I have to decide if I will have a vbac or repeat c section and also taking into consideration I can only have my tubes tied if I have a c section otherwise I wait until I can afford the ligation at a later date and risk becoming pregnant in the meantime.
Opinions and experiences are much needed from other moms and families. Thanks
Comments
May I ask why, if you are in a committed monogamous relationship, why doesn't your SO get a vasectomy? Sounds like he's older and in a better place to make such a drastic decision, especially given that he has 5 kids.
You may think you are in the right frame of mind to make this kind of decision, but I say look at the age of the people who are encouraging versus those that are discouraging and I can bet the discouraging group are older.
Good luck!
If I get my tubes tied it will be free.
Here's where my mind frame is at. And im totally open to all comments and suggestions from everyone.
I see where your coming from and your right about the group discouraging me being older. And Im not at all shrugging them off. My counter is this- I feel that two children is enough for me, while I may feel like I wish I had more later, at least if I have just two we have a shot at living a comfortable life and not struggling like my mother did. I dont want to repeat the cycle of having too many kids with too many fathers, not enough money not enough patience and ultimately being a bad parent like my mother was. That's another story but I dont want to repeat her life.
however the part about tubal ligation being permanent does make me a little nervous. But if I only want two kids why am I nervous?
I also agree that you should get a good long term birth control and save money just in case that by the time your birth control expires, if you are still set in having your tubes tied, you have the money to have it done. As long as you are cautious, you won't get pregnant again.
And at the same time im thinking about being able to hold my newborn on my chest immediately after she's born the way I couldn't during the c section, watching her dad cut the cord, being more intimately involved in her birth instead of just hearing it from behind a curtain, not waiting to be stitched up before actually holding her, being allowed to have more than one person with me if I choose, and just not passing up this chance to do it if it is my last...
Man I almost feel like just flipping a coin to decide lol im looking for women who have positive and/or negetive experiences to share because I really dont know what could happen or what its like. My ob did tell me if I chose a csection that any children I have in the future will have to also be c section I will not get another chance at vbacs. Also taking that into consideration.
@Jules yeah I think I would love to experience it im just afraid of the unknown and I find comfort in knowing exactly what will happen during a c section.
@littlerednova how long did u wait after having your 2nd to go back in and tie them? How is it done if not during a c section? Do u ever feel like u made a mistake?
@sands3 how old were u when u did it?
Only you know what is best for your body, your family and your relationship with your partner. Follow your heart.