husband isnt being understanding or supporting.. & hes all i have.

mommy3mommy3
edited January 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
My family lives in TN.. I now live in NC because my husband is a Marine & this is where we were stationed. I have no one here, except him. I always feel alone. The nights I feel like poo and can't sleep, I've asked him to rub my back and just help me fall asleep.. he won't. He gets home around 7pm & by 10pm he's ready for bed. Excepts food cooked, clean house, & everything all peaches. I wad gonna start school in Jan. But then I found I'm pregnant & it takes a yr for what I wanna do & he's deploying to Afghanistan in Oct. So I'm going to go back home so I'm not alone with my first newborn. & yeah cooking, cleaning, all the house wife stuff is fine, but now that I'm pregnant and don't have the energy or just feel like poo somedays.. I just can't do it all. & he's supposed to be understanding & supportive. I've tried talking calmly multiple times, nothing helps him understand. I just feel so alone & with no support.
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Comments

  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • mommy3mommy3
    At first, I loved it here.. we met people everything was a blast.. now that I'm pregnant the few friends I made don't even talk to me.. I guess they think I'm cripple instead of pregnant so they don't wanna bother!? Idk. & yeah my husband randomly brings guys from work over & says things like so whatcha cooking.. like puts me on the spot.. or the whole three hrs he spends with me gets cut down to zero because of his friends & call of duty. I mean really we aren't in high school anymore & we're not just bf & gf.. we're married & he just does his own thing, like I don't matter. & when he's even a little nice.. I always say thank you or something so he needs it is very much needed & appreciated. I just think he's too more immature for this & it makes me sad.
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • mommy3mommy3
    Omg exactly. Like I've stopped cleaning & I've only cooked once this week bc I was starving.. other than that, I'm just like you do it all since its so easy. & I miss that feeling when you're first dating too & you act soo spontaneous together. Even if its 12am & you're like, hey let's go get a milkshake.. those kinda things.. I feel 40 yrs old & alone. I really do. It just makes me miss home & my daddy! (I'm a daddys girl, so this move wasn't easy lol) & now it pretty much sucksssss.
  • grissy_barriagrissy_barria
    I know exactly how you feel :( I'm 23 weeks pregnant and work a full time job I was also supposed to start school this semester but its all so hard and tiring I wake up every morning to get my daughter ready for school clean cook and work and I ask my husband to help sometimes and he is a total jerk little by little he is starting to tell that I'm getting fed up with it and he needs to help but it is stressful
  • mommy3mommy3
    It just makes you feel bad all around doesn't it? I'm so tender hearted, like id give someone my arm if they needed it more than I do.. but I also will not take crap.. & I think to myslef, ya know.. this guy is your husband for crying out loud, not some bf or random guy.. I shouldn't feel this way. I'm only 18 and feel like I'm 40 with no life. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy, not cry & feel this way.
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • mommy3mommy3
    Exactly. He just doesn't even try to do his best. He's just self-centered & says I'm just complicated. I'm 18 & 13 weeks!
  • grissy_barriagrissy_barria
    Omg soon2bmommyof2 my husband was also so attached to the xbox on stupid call of duty haha it got to the point where I told him its either that or us after being rushed in the hospital because of my cyst he realized how stressful being pregnant is but he still won't rub my feet every night I come home from work
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • Momma2Be_21Momma2Be_21
    What part of tennesse are you from?
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • mommy3mommy3
    That dang call of duty is about to be tossed out the window. Seriously. & I'm not nervous, but I bet I will be come delivery time! No morning sickness (; got lucky.. my mom never got sick either! I watched my mom have my sister so it doesn't really freak me out & my moms a doc so I've heard of a lot lol & I've always wanted a boy, but now.. I can't decide haha!! & I'm from smithville, tn.. about a hour south of nashville..
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • grissy_barriagrissy_barria
    Yeah he now only keep it so I can watch netflix :) and yes I get tired sometimes of asking him to do little things for me I wish they can go through what we are going through
  • mommy3mommy3
    OMG.. so nervous about stretch marks. I lather myself with lotion constantly haha & I want a boy until I see a cute little girl in pink.. then I'm like omg I want a little princess!! Haha & yes, mom is very helpful (: I want you to know, you've already helped me!!! I thought the last idea I had would be to call my daddy & say come get me, & now you've made me feel better (:
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • mommy3mommy3
    Oh yes.. like the smallest things.. helping you fall asleep, or noticing when you fix your hair.. I get called miss piggy & when he's being sarcastic I get called gorgeous.. makes me feel great.. NOT.
  • mommy3mommy3
    & heck no they couldn't last.. they're tooooo whiny!
  • grissy_barriagrissy_barria
    They wouldn't last at all :)
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • tzema_gemmatzema_gemma
    I was 18 wen I had my first baby and her dad played on that stupid cod game constantly even after she was born. It made me feel like I was worth nothin to him. His excuse was at least I am not out lol, he might swell have been.
    I was with him for 6 years wen I decided I had enough and just didn love him anymore.
    I am now 23 and have been with a lovely guy for 2 years we r now engaged and expectin our first baby. He is my best friend and so understanding. There are men like that out there ladies.
    As for my little girls dad 2 years on and he still has the cheek to say that its all my fault he can't see his daughter everynight wat he didn realise is he had the chance wen we were together but he didn take it.
    I still don't understand wat goes on in his head. Its jus the way some men are.
    Don't make itself unhappy girls its not fair on u or ur babys.
    I know its hard because u r married, I guess I am jus lucky it didn go that far with me the first time x
  • mommy3mommy3
    I haven't had any stretch marks.. yet, maybe ill be lucky!! & thanks for sharing your story tzema_gemma.. I'm very happy for you! My husband was the best ever until he joined the marines. Now he's not the same guy. I just don't wanna give up & feel like I could do something to make it work.. we've had problems (the same ones we do now) since september & this pregnancy wasn't planned, I was on birth control & everything.. I wouldn't trade my baby bump for anything though. He was so excited at first & now I can just tell he doesn't realize how serious it is.. & he'll only be in the baby's life for a month then he deploys to Afghanistan and he'll miss soooo much.. & it doesn't seem to make him wanna make the best of these 9 months he has with me, he just doesn't care.
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • mommy3mommy3
    Exactly.. but I do try! I can't do his part too.. it makes me sad that he doesn't even realize how hurt I am.. & I've even calmly talked a lot to him about it. Grr.
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • mommy3mommy3
    Might have to try the whole silent treatment thing lol but gah I'm such a talker! Id talk to a wall if it'd talk back.. shew!
  • Soon2bmommyof2Soon2bmommyof2
    edited November 2014
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  • mommy3mommy3
    Lol I know ill give in cause he'll just not care & then i'll be more mad haha
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