he seems to be leaning more towards abortion...

sweetness06sweetness06
edited March 2011 in November 2011
Ok so my partner & I had a discussion on what to do as far as abortion, adoption & parenting...I told him I dnt think I want to have an abortion because I had 1 in 2008 & I made q promise myself & God that I would nvr do it again! I feel like if I do God might punish me later for it..like mayb ill nvr b able to have kids..adoption we both agree we dnt want that but I'm ok wit it if my mom takes care of the baby least for the next 2 yrs that's when I graduate that situation isn't ideal either but to mean it sounds better than abortion. Than there is parenting we both knw were not ready to raise a child.. I'm in school but I'm jus not ready to place that on hold..he keep saying he's too young even tho he's 23...he says he supports me in any final decision I make but... he jus thinks the solution is abortion..& to me it sounds the like it will make everything go back to normal...but jus cnt handle the emotional scars that comes wit abortion.
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Comments

  • BeardreamsBeardreams
    Its comes down to whats best for you. If you made a promise to yourself you wouldn't have another abortion then dont. Adoption is just as good of an option and leaves less emotional scaring
  • ghettobettyghettobetty
    Do what's best for you.... I also had one abortion and will never do it again and was a teen mother. Fallow your heart if you have any questions you can always ask. I'm sure you will make the right choice for you! Best wishes...
  • jazzi89jazzi89
    You can easily have the baby and still go to school many moms do. U dont have to put ur future on hold just change things a bit. Adoption would b another good option if things just don't seem to b working out. Whatever u do just mak sure ur both involved and that u think a lot about it.
  • rootzmamarootzmama
    Wow my bf is same age an hes so excited. Im so sorry ur situation sounds kinda difficult. But remember this is UR decision and UR baby. Soooo its ur choice that matters, not his. Everything would be so much easier if he just supported u...sucks huh? If u stay strong and confident in whatever decision u make he should back u up (i hope he does) I cross my fingers for u lol follow ur heart :)
  • ghettobettyghettobetty
    Also almost gave my son up for adoption when I was 16... changed my mind last minute.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited March 2011
    all of your choices will be difficult in some way..but if you know you can't handle anymore emotional hurt from another abortion I wouldnt do it. Do what you know is right.

    Good luck.
  • luvmyboosluvmyboos
    I have a 3 yr old got pregnant last year and miscarriage. Then by total surprise got pregnant with this baby.... I was scared and my husband suggested abortion. I thought about it and knew I could not go through losing another baby this time by choice so we r having another one and I can honestly say I'm happy and so is hubby. It took him a little bit but he accepted my decision and for the record I am in school and just turned 23 on Tuesday I was 19 with my first.... u can do it trust yourself though that is main thing if u don't follow ur heart u will forever hurt.... good luck.
  • zeemes5zeemes5
    Don't do an abortion. You will always regret it. And your partner is not the one who has to live with that pain and loss. :-( This baby is not an accident. God has a plan for this little one's life. Pray about it...
  • lilpeapod913lilpeapod913
    Wow I'm a lil irritated by one response on here lol..must be the hormones! Do what's best for you. I had an abortion in 2006 and I have never stopped thinking about what my life would have been like. The guy and I dated until 2008 and I still think about whether he would be a deadbeat or a good dad or what. I know everything happens for a reason but I would have never made that decision if I had moreof a support system. He wanted abortion and my mother told me she wouldn't support me and I was living in her home. I decoded that I would never make a serious decision with anyone else's interest above my own again and you should not either. "It took me a long time to stop judging myself through someone else's eyes". I am now 26 and not married, but that's ok w me. We are working towards that one step at a time!
  • lilpeapod913lilpeapod913
    @zeemas5 I totally agree with you. Men can want it but it does not affect them like it does us. And they are not left w the emotional scars like we are.
  • CrumbledCookieCrumbledCookie
    I agree with @rootzmama it is your choice to make and if you already made a promise to yourself that really only leaves two options, adoption or raise the baby yourself....you bf may come around after awhile and be just as excited as some guys his are, i hope that all works out for the best

    @luvmyboos i find it interesting that we were born on the same day and year lol
  • sweetness06sweetness06
    Thanks so much..but I knw whatever choice I make I will have live with forever...
  • TechGirlPaTechGirlPa
    @Sweetness06. Maybe you should do some research on abortion so you fully understand the process. Its not a fix all like the clinics often lead to believe and I personally feel it should only be an option in dire circumstances.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    @techgirlpa in her post she says she has already had a previous abortion.
  • josburn10josburn10
    Listen to yourself hun, you knows what's best for you but if your husband is not ready then I sugguest you consider his reaction why his not ready after all his your partner
  • sairasaira
    do what your heart feels....im a teen mom with 2 kids and fineshed high school and college as a single mother and what ever u chose i bet ur partner will support u best wishes in whatever you chose<3
  • LaLaLaceyLaLaLacey
    I don't think you should be really worrying about what he is leaning towards! You said yourself that you don't think you want one, I think that since you feel that way you will regret it if you let him persuade you.
  • lavitaebellalavitaebella
    If u want that baby....u keep that baby and forget him.
  • kaylamaekaylamae
    it must be my hormones but a 23 yr old man isn't ready and wants to take the easy way out. I'd leave him on his a-s-s! That's just me! I'm almost 17, a junior in high school and my boyfriend of 2 years is about to be 20. We know this is gonna be a struggle but sometimes you gotta man up! Sorry for ranting. God bless you and the little one!
  • ChocolateMonsterChocolateMonster
    My bf is 22 and I'm 24 we just went through this same situation days ago.. He was on me about not being ready and pressing me about getting an abortion ask because he was scared and not sure of himself I told him flat out that I was in no way getting an abortion and if he wants to go then your free to do I ended the convo with that and said I'm doing this with or without you. He was mad for a few days about 2 then he came around I was happy but prepared to do this on my own. I guess the point I'm trying to make is do what's best for you and if he comes around then great if not at least you don't have the regret of having another abortion eating at you for the rest of you life. Good luck and keep God first. -I'm always here to talk to if you need someone.
  • redhead25redhead25
    Don't depend on him staying. I was in the same situation and chose to keep it. Some of these girls may have found a guy that just changed their mind but I would say that most don't. My ex left me before I even had my son. I don't know your guy and I'm just judging from my experience but i would not depend on him being there if he's already made it clear that he wants u to have an abortion. Also only you know what u can handle promises or not. God judges on judgement day. He doesn't seek revenge. Karma is a Hindu belief not Christian. I'm not advocating for you to get an abortion but just know if that is the route u take god is a loving and forgiving god. Adoption is an amazing gift you could give someone. i have friends on both ends of the spectrum getting a baby and giving up a baby. You can have an open adoption. Most open adoption parents tell the kid from day one and the biological parents are in the kids life like an aunt or uncle. Either way like I said only know what u can handle. You make the decision for yourself and no one else.
    Sorry if what I said offended anyone..abortion is a touchy subject and like I said I'm not telling her have an abortion..I was just talking about the options she gave.
  • ChocolateMonsterChocolateMonster
    I agree with @redhead25
  • mommyofmanyblessingsmommyofmanyblessings
    Before you would abort go and check out how it is done ..instead of listening to an abortion clinic... www.abort73.com
    Abortion stops a beating heart...it takes a complete innocent humans chances of a life away for good....God forgives us when we do something in ignorance..but if you know abortion is wrong and then continue to go through with it...I don't think he would look too kindly on that. Men are jerks...its never a reason to end a childs life cause someone wants ZERO RESPONSIBILITY... chances are your baby has a heartbeat...they can feel pain and they are blessings from God! Please give your baby life and God will bless you and take care of you no matter what! Ill be praying you keep your promise. You will never regret a precious child..but you will regret taking its life.
  • redhead25redhead25
    You can't say what you think god will do. I'm pretty sure you don't have an in with him while everyone else is left wondering. those who judge shall be judged. you have no right to tell her what she will feel or think. I don't know about your god but my god doesn't pick and choose who he forgives. he's a forgiving god. hunny don't let people guilt you into thinking a certain way...like I said only you know what you can handle and don't make a decision based on anyone else.
  • MommyDueNov21MommyDueNov21
    I agree w. @redhead25
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited March 2011
    Good luck
  • twinkiesmomtwinkiesmom
    @char that's not the same. You don't choose to have a miscarriage and its not your fault. You're not stopping a beating heart, its something that happens for reasons sometimes unknown. Your comment was insensitive to those trying to conceive.
  • skybabyskybaby
    I now I will get a lot of nasty feedback from this. But what has happened to birthcontrol methods? I'm not talking using abortion as one either. I do support abortion in very few situations (rape, medication that cause serious birth defects ex accutane or the bc shot). Be more responsible or don't have sex.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited March 2011
    I hope that sweetness06 does what she feels is right for her and forget everyone else. Good luck what ever ur decision may be.
  • Maybe8thtimesacharmMaybe8thtimesacharm
    the abortion would do more than scar you emotionally it will make it way more difficult to have a child when you are ready. Adoption isn't that bad they do have open adoptions where you can still be in the childs life. You should talk to a councillor or a priest and get the sound advice you need
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