whats worse?? so heartbroken

celias27celias27
edited March 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
My husband and I have become so hateful towards each other.. we can't even sit in the same room as the other.. we have a 3 yr old and I'm 16 weeks along.. I cry and cry and cry and he doesn't seem to care how bad I hurt only insists on name calling and saying anything to hurt me. My heart is breaking and I am all alone.. should I stay for the kids or do I attempt the impossible and leave even though I have no family or friends to help me with my kids if I go.. I'm scared and lonely and so hurt I can't seem to think anymore.. please anyone.. what do I do..

Comments

  • Jersey_Daddy16Jersey_Daddy16
    With what it sounds, you should go. But try talking to him. But if that doesn't work. Idk. But I wish you luck. :)<3
  • ripsbabyripsbaby
    Hey sweetie, just remember that what you do affects your kids. It is better to have one parent and a happy home than two and hate. They need love. I think that you should seek help. Try asking the nurse at your next ob appointment if they have a counselor or social worker on hand who can help you. It may mean you need to go to a shelter until you are on your feet again but there is help out there. I also recommend getting into a church too. Hope it helps. I will pray for you and your situation.
  • KalikoJenieKalikoJenie
    Well, if you aren't happy then leave. There may be some people that you could call for help. Do you work?
  • celias27celias27
    Yes I work... I pay for our life.. i make more money then him. I work odd hours and my main concern is taking care of the kids with no help. I don't have family around here and no friends.. I don't know how to be a single parent. We don't talk and he tells me if I leave he will make my life a living hell
  • 314babymama1120314babymama1120
    Counseling an option?
  • graciensmommygraciensmommy
    Honestly if you make the money I say go! Everything you experience goes thru to the baby you are carrying and especially to your 3 year old. Leave and don't leave a trail, pay for things in cash or better yet take an afternoon off and move all your money to new accts with only your name on them. Is your 3 year old already in daycare or does he provide child-care? If he provides it'd be smart to in advance scout out some day cares or private care providers sand luckily you'll have some time before the baby comes and should be able to find someone who does in home care and can watch your 3year old and infant later on. In the mean time seek counseling if you find there's any hope left in the relationship.I can tell I'm in a similar situation my s/o isn't hateful as far as name calling but he's not comforting anymore I cry and he's like completely desensitized to it and rarely asks how my day is etc..
    I just worry he's not in love with me anymore and he says I just cry a lot and am crazy hormonal and its annoying..
    But I rely on his paycheck so here ill stay until it hopefully gets better or gets bad enough I have to reach out to my family to help
  • sunshinelovesunshinelove
    Get help! He is threatening you... Honestly its way over my head to tell you what you should do, but my best advice, pray, all for guidance, and talk to a proffesional and see what they would suggest. Do remember, if he is being abusive TELL someone!!!! You and your baby and your kids are the important thing... He isn't
  • mrsrocketfield1221mrsrocketfield1221
    ya know what, i freakin cannot STAND when someone says that if the other leaves, they will make their life a living hell!! @celias27 In fact, he probably wouldn't know what the heck to do without you! Only you can say whether you should leave or not but if you feel it in your heart you shouldn't be together... and it's not just the pregnancy hormones... then i would look into the many many many resources they have out there and programs you may qualify for if you do leave. My friend wasn't pregnant but was in a similar situation (actually worse) and when we met i helped her get out of there and she's been living her with her 3 yr old son since july. it only takes one connection and a bunch of strength to make it happen. it isn't fair to children to see, hear, or feel fighting and distance between parents. they need love, and they need to learn what love is between adults.

    loving someone and being in love with someone is totally different...

    i would suggest (if you do want to try and work things out) to first try to calm things down and talk like adults without getting too emotional or angry at each other. this might be hard, but sometimes in my relationship taking a different approach really does help. I'd also look into couples counseling.

    i wish that you could go stay with someone for a little bit to see if it helps cool things down at all... :( just make sure to stay strong and do what you feel is best for you and your children. keep yourself healthy along the way... mind body and soul is SO important!! GOOD LUCK!
  • mrsrocketfield1221mrsrocketfield1221
    being a single parent can be tough, but staying in a bad situation is far worse. you'd be surprised how strong you are... super mom! ;) please don't let him scare you. if he does whether it's just words or more... restraining orders can work wonders when trying to get away.
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  • mamahopemamahope
    Thanx for this discussion I'm in a similar situation. And know how u feel. Love is so difficult at times. I just look forward to the day I get to meet my son! Hang in there God has a plan even if the path gets tough.
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