Should I, or Shouldn't I ? What do you guys think ? (LONG)

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  • @twinkiesmom: I didn't say you get 700 with one child. I said you can get up to, meaning more than one child. Also from having some friends who can lie and doc stuff up. Some people have done it. I don't how public housing works in other states and city, that's why I said in Chicago.
  • @FirstTimeMommyToBe I swear I'm not seeing this logic at all. Its hard out here n I'm married. If we end up not together I would not b trying to get welfare, taking it from somebody who really needs it when my BD had just as much part n this as I di when he is perfectly capable of taking care of our baby.
  • @FirstTimeMommyToBe: Yeah I had to rethink that statement myself after I read it. My bad about that.
  • @veevee so what do you suggest women do who aren't eligible for assistance or there is no assistance do? Let the father go on happy go lucky never taking responsibility while the mother struggles and the child suffers?
  • @twinkiesmom: I respect everyones view on child support. I understand why those who choose to file do. I just don't agree with it. I will also have my opinion that it is a bit out of spite. You don't understand that that's fine. Its just my opinion.
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  • Well sometimes it is out of spite. I'll agree to that. But I really want you to answer my question though.
  • If he doesnt want to be in your babies life and you dont want child support then have him sign away his paternal rights. Mainly to protect the two of you later on in life. I know it suxs but thinking of the baby is best and if he doesnt want to be around make sure u are in charge of that.
  • edited March 2011
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  • I receive child support for my daughter and there is absolutally no shame in it. I have a good job but It's hard to pay childcare, food, clothes, etc by yourself when the other parent has 1/2 the responsibility too. The point of child support is to take the mother and fathers income and see how much you'd generally spend on your child monthly if you were together. Then you're each responsible for that amount. I would like my daughter to have nice things and go to nice schools, therefore there's nothing wrong with child support. It doesn't go to me, it goes to her! Shameful if someones shorting their kid on their future due to stubbornness. It's not about YOU, it's about your CHILD.
  • @twinkieson: Put it in Gods hands. Do what you got to do. Plenty of women do well without child support or government assistance. Having a family with or without the bd requires sacrifice. You knew if you aren't ready or able to take care of a child but you still had it. So all the blame just can't go on him for all the struggling.
  • @FirstTimeMommyToBe exactly! He is going to take care of this child one way or the other. If he's willing to still take care of him without us going to court I'd much rather do it that way. But if not...ill be filing n he'll be paying or sitting n jail!
  • @lilbit01_209 That would probably be my choice if it ever happens to me.
  • @veevee but its not all the blame. You're still raising your child so you're doing your part. If he doesn't have joint custody n isn't paying child support its not fair to the child. a woman shouldnt b solely responsible to provide for a child they made together.
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  • "He's gonna take care of his child no matter, if not he is going to jail." (a child he doesn't want)... sounds pretty spiteful to me. Spite can be subtle.

    I don't agree that women should raise a child alone, but if the bd doesn't want to. Like lilbit said take away his rights as a father and move on. Eventually good will come. Everyone struggles.
  • Faith won't but you can. Like I said plenty of women do it without child support or government assistance. They may struggle but everybody struggles.
  • @veevee r you referring to me?! My husband very much wants our child! And that's not what I said either. How is spiteful to make the father of your child be responsible for it?! It sounds like being a good mother to me!
  • I'm speaking in general term. No one in particular.
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  • Oh ok. Almost got upset. Whew! :-D
  • edited March 2011
    I never said its okay. I see nothing wrong with it if you need it. I only get government assistance because of a car accident by a drunk police officer that screwed my neck and back up. 7 surgeries and 11 pins in my neck.

    To be honest Illinois isn't the best place for child support. A lot of women just dont file or lie about they don't know their men info. Illinois does need a lot of work on their stuff, which is why most people including me are leaving the state.
  • @veevee I agree w u 100% we both make enough to take care of pour child (soon to be.children) on either what I used to make (would make if anything.happened and I went back to work) or his pay. I couldn't see taking his way of life food on his table when I'm capable of doing it on my own. Do I think my husband would ever let our kids do without wants much less needs never. And him sitting in jail would do what for our kids? Say he lost his job "if" he paid child support would I keep my kids from their daddy? Not in this life
  • Why should your child struggle because you're not taking child support? It's for your child! I can raise my daughter on my income alone, but her father helped create her and he should help with her needs. I want nothing to do with him or his money. His cs goes straight into an account for her. Helps pay half of certain things for her each month. Anything left over stays in there. Anything that's in there goes towards only her and always will. Child support is for the child. So any woman that files and spends it on their child's needs are totally right. The only wrong would be using that money on things other then those that benefit the child.
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  • @SaylorsMommy ..So true hun’! I'm just use to being independent ..Doing shxt on my own cause that's how moms raised me; But she didn't say to be stupid ..lOl Nothing's wrong w/help.

    &nd I DEFINITELY got some GOOD major advice from all of you Ladies ..Thanx a bunch again!, I needed to hear all of it I swear. :)
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