am i being selfish??

iris_y_juaniris_y_juan
edited March 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
Ok so I'm almost due I'm having a c section April 29. But I told my boyfriend tht I didn't want anyone up there the first day..this is my second bby my first was my son nd I had a c section but was annoyed tht his mom sis nd his sis kids where there literally a hr after I came out of recovery.. plz keep in mind his family doesn't like me or didn't even show up to the bby shower the only one tht showed was his mom nd we invited alot of his family..anyways lol I was still numb in my legs nd had jst got to see my son for about 35 min nd they showered up nd his sis son was 2 nd he was playing with my IV post nd annoyed me nd she didn't say anything to him.. so I was wondering since I'm having another c section nd know Wht to expect as far as feeling ready for company am I being selfish tht I dnt want any visitors the first day?? I mean my son is goin up there cause I want him to meet his little sister nd kinda get comfy tht she is comin home with us lol but am I in the wrong?? I'll be in the hospital Friday morning-Monday morning..they can visit Saturday nd Sunday but I'm jst asking for no visitors on Friday..

Comments

  • caroline8_pcaroline8_p
    Not being selfish at all.
  • calebsmommiecalebsmommie
    There is nothing wrong with that. If you don't want people there (namely in laws, mine are the same) then your partner should make sure this happens. Your the one going through the traumatic experience. Everything should be like YOU want it!
  • PrayingForMiraclesPrayingForMiracles
    No that's reasonable. Just tell your nurses and they can handle it for you!
  • cheekyerincheekyerin
    I have made it that. Nobody see the new bub till there brothers have met them I did it with my oldest when.I had my 2nd son n my 3rd I had my friend I'm the room to so they met there little brother 1st my mum watched the kids while in labour then gets the call on e there born to.bring them in bub no 4 will b no different I have.t had a c/s u.can to the hospital in advance I'm sure they keep ppl away if u asked them
  • iris_y_juaniris_y_juan
    That's Wht I told him nd he gave me this look like I was tellin him to tell his family not to go up there..md plus we honestly dnt get invited to a lot of HIS family events nd they wonder y when they call last min I dnt want to go.or have other plans already..Idk I jst feel.like if I dnt let them its me being selfish nd them to dislike me more..which I.can honestly care less my health md family come first but I jst dnt want to have.tht lil guilt in the bck of my head
  • iris_y_juaniris_y_juan
    @cheekyerin I know the hospital does it I'm jst tryin to figure out if I tell my boyfriend to tell his family not to go until Saturday nd he doesn't tell them nd they go Friday nd get rejected at the door am I at fault cause he wasnt man enough to tell them?? Or should I.mention it to them this wkend at the bby shower..IF THEY SHOW
  • iris_y_juaniris_y_juan
    I'M SRY NEXT WKEND**
  • bluegrass_mommybluegrass_mommy
    Not selfish at all. You need all the rest you can get while in the hospital. You can tell the nurses that you aren't accepting visitors for the first day and they will keep people out. Maybe tell people that you need some more recovery time and ask them to wait until the next day or just wait until you come home. You have to put yourself first and don't worry about hurting peoples feelings, they obviosly aren't worried about yours!!
  • magcawmagcaw
    I don't think you're being selfish. I've had two c-sections and after my second my room was filled with kids within a few hours (there were 5 kids under 5 in the room! NOT including my newborn!). I was ready to strangle somebody. I didn't mind with my first because people came in could only stay for 5 or 10 minutes because I didn't have a room, so within an hour everyone had come in, kissed me and my son, and left. This time I think I'm going to set a few more boundaries as far as how many kids can come to visit at once...and I don't feel at all guilty! :D
  • iris_y_juaniris_y_juan
    @bluegrass_mommy thanks I was going to wait until I came home but at tht I still dnt know how I'm goin to feel cause.I have a very active 2 1/2 yr old nd its a new house so I'm still tryin to figure everything out plus I figured if they visited at the hospital Saturday nd Sunday maybe I can be home at least a wk with out visitors well at least until the staples are removed nd I can actually do stuff on my own but I know he will have a fit about tht too smh ugh men!!!

    @magcaw thanks I couldn't stand tht her son was messing with everything nd Jon was said nd well its not my child so I didn't say anything lol but I will definitely be setting some rules with this c section cause I dnt want to feel uncomfortable..

    It's not tht I dnt JST want his family there I already told my family nd they are fine with it its jst his family nd their retarded ways lol
  • iris_y_juaniris_y_juan
    Non** was said
  • kenziesmom216kenziesmom216
    not selfish at all . your going to need the rest and everything . yhtas a big surgery I guess . im not sure I never had a c section . but my cousin had o.e and she said it was horrible . and they can come see the baby while your resting and healing at home . they dont need to be there the first day . thats you your son and your boyfriends time to get to bcome a familu and get to no the baby and everything . and they need to respect that . your the one who went to hell and back for nine months they didnt . thdy didnt just have a surgery and everything . so thats my opinion on it . hope it didnt offrnd anybody and good luck girl .
  • iris_y_juaniris_y_juan
    @kenziesmom216 thanks I'm not offend at all I really do thank u for understanding nd u didn't even have a c section...my format wasn't horrible its jst I was still numb nd ppl where every where I didn't like tht at all I mean when I first got to the hospital yes I had my boyfriend,my dad,nd my sis in law there thinkin I was goin to have a natural birth but ended up having a c section which my sis in law left nd so did my dad md came the next day but his family came right after the surgery nd I had jst seen my son nd couldn't feel my legs nd still kinda of out of it lol but this time I jst want mommy, bby, big brother, nd daddy time
  • Laurenmarie729ILaurenmarie729I
    Not at all! Your the one going through surgery you want to be able to enjoy your baby their.first.day.in this world. Even if you got along with them it would stil be understandable.
  • cheekyerincheekyerin
    @iris_y_jaun maybe tell him that u want Ur oldest to meet bubs 1st n u don't want Ur oldest to spend the day 1 as family of 4
  • iris_y_juaniris_y_juan
    THanks everyone I had a talk with him at dinner nd he understands so he says lol but I also told him tht I was letting the nurses nd hospital know tht I dnt want visitors until the next day I also mentioned tht I was not responsible for anyone getting denied at the door nd their feelings gettin hurt..I told him o told my family tht I would appreciate it of he told his if not I would lol nd he said he would tell them so I guess we have to wait 29 days to.see how it goes... :-bd
  • ghettobettyghettobetty
    Not selfish at all the pain meds usually make me queezie anyways.... I'm in no state for company after!
  • ckazfirstckazfirst
    Not selfish. I said to my man that if its normal full term birth I want my mom and him there. If c-section then just him. I dunno why that's just how I feel.
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