children sleeping the the bed with their parents

finallyamommafinallyamomma
edited March 2011 in Sleep
My boyfriends three year old son sleeps I'm the bed with us. It's always been uncomfortable for me because he sleeps between us and kicks me all night. But now that I'm getting bigger its much more uncomfortable. I don't really know how to deal with this he is very spoiled and won't sleep in his own bed and my boyfriend won't make him use his own bed either but pretty soon ill have to start sleeping on the sofa cause I can't take this much longer!

Comments

  • TagensmommyTagensmommy
    My son sleeps with me almost every night but I'm in the middle me and my bd are broke up now tho so its not an issue lol but trust me when you have yours you'll want them next to you too I love my little guy next to me all night
  • finallyamommafinallyamomma
    I understand that he may want him with him, but for my growing belly It's very uncomfortable. And he is three and getting bigger and bigger it just seems like its time he transitions to his own bed.
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  • finallyamommafinallyamomma
    @navywife I have talked to him multiple times about how I felt he was old enough to sleep alone and how horribly uncomfortable it was for me, but its like it ment nothing to him, he told me that if he put him in his own bed he would cry and get up and come right back to our bed. But I feel like he is letting his son call the shots, which is wrong he is the parent! And many nights I have slept on the couch because he was kicking my stomach! I just wish I could get through to him so I could finally have a good nights sleep again!
  • Kells32Kells32
    This has something to do with your boyfriend and not the kid. Kids should feel safe and comfortable in their own bed.....period. Make him sleep in his sons bed and when he's ready to deal with making his son be a big kid he can come back to your bed:)
  • tscotttscott
    edited April 2011
    Your boyfriend, should lay in the room with his son, either in the bed or on the floor next to him until he go's to sleep. Leave a hall light on or a night light and your door open until he is use to sleeping in the room alone. Ask your boyfriend what happens when the new baby comes? Everyone won't fit in the bed and there has to be boundaries in place other wise the three year old will not like all this new transition. Start telling the 3yr. he is going to be a big brother, so now he needs to be in the big boy bed. Let all naps be in his bed. And when he wakes up . Make it a big deal that he slept in his bed. Remember when you date someone with kids, it's not just there child and they have to deal with them alone. You have to take on the roll as a parent. The new baby makes you all a family.


  • finallyamommafinallyamomma
    @Kells32 I completely agree that its my boyfriends fault and not his sons, he needs to be the parent and stand his ground. I think its him also that likes having his son sleeps with him. I love your idea about him moving to his bed! I'm going to make that happen at least I can sleep comfortably then. He also says the new baby will sleep with us, but I'm completely against having my child sleep with me. It's not something I want to make a habit out of.
  • GirlsLoveInkGirlsLoveInk
    Keep a light on his rm an have dad go in there an lay w him at night till he falls asleep.. buy a jumbo soft plushy stuffed animal so he's got sumone big nxt to him
  • ChelsChels
    My sister slept with my parents until she was 7 or 8 i think that crazy!
  • finallyamommafinallyamomma
    @tscott see the thing is his son stays up unit one am sometimes later so that makes it hard. My boyfriend also refuses to give him a bed time and just make him go to sleep at a decent hour.
  • TagensmommyTagensmommy
    Yeah my ex felt the same way my sons 4 now and I hate to have the baby be the reason he has to sleep on his own..I bought him a new 200 $ bed thinking it would make him want to sleep in it (its a big dino lol) but nope course not
  • tscotttscott
    Your boyfriend, should lay in the room with his son, either in the bed or on the floor next to him until he go's to sleep. Leave a hall light on or a night light and you door open until he is use to sleeping in the room. Ask your boyfriend what happens when the new baby comes? Everyone won't fit in the bed and there has to be boundaries in place other was the three year old will not like all this new transition. To start the your going to be a big brother, so now you need to be in the big boy bed. Let naps be in his bed. And when he wakes up . Make it a big deal that he slept in his bed.
  • Kells32Kells32
    I have always tried to teach my boys to be independant...but to still let them know I am here for them. With boys especially they need to learn this early because the real world is a harsh reality if they don't . It all starts with little stuff just like this. Your boyfirend need to realize he is doing more harm to him then good....plus annoying the hell outta of his pregnant girlfirend which we all know isn't usually a good thing;) good luck!
  • tscotttscott
    edited April 2011
    You, take care of this young boy? You feed him? You dress him? It's your. responsibility to have him in the bed at 7 just as much as the father , if that means you to have dinner early or just feeding little man so he can get on a schedule. It will take him 30 minute or longer to settle down. Your goal is sleep at 8. Give him a bath right after he eats , leave cleaning the kitchen for later. Lay him in the big boy bed and play soft music( kids stuff) and pat his back until he sleep. Be consistent!! Your life will be soooooo much easier. I know I have a 7 1/2 year old sleep at 8 pm on weekends Now I will let him stay up some days until 9 pm . He is a A & B student. I love my down time. this has been his schedule since 3
  • allie8955allie8955
    I always wanted my little one to snug with me and my hubby in our bed! but he loves his crib and all the space there. We got a cali king size bed and we got plenty of room but every time we try to have him with us he kicks and cries. All I can say is just talk to ur man about it...or better yet just spend the night on the couch for one night and when ur man asks u what's up let him know! great luck to u sweetie!
  • vegas_galvegas_gal
    I never been in that situation. But, you need to talk to him about it.(you can have a baby with him,but you can have a conversation about this. )kids should not sleep in the parents bed. And if someone needs to go to the couch, us him. You're having a baby, you need to sleep well.
    My opinion. Good luck girlie!:D
  • tscotttscott
    edited April 2011
    Kids in the bed is for story time, some times. That's it! You'll room is your sanctuary and private space. This doesn't have to be messy with you and the boyfriend. It's bigger then the 3 year old. If there is No action taking place to get a solution. The relationship will suffer an different area and anger will come up. Example: 1.For not listening to you
    2. For allowing the 3 yr do what ever he wants
    3. For not acting like the parent
    And so on...
    You have to take some of the responsibility.
  • tscotttscott
    Get him a teddy, another person said that. Which is a great ideal! My son's had Baboo(then one day Baboo) was gone and he was okay.
  • tscotttscott
    Get him a teddy, another person said that. Which is a great ideal! My son's had Baboo(then one day Baboo) was gone and he was okay.
  • jcmommyjcmommy
    My son slept in my bed til he was almost 4. Yes it was very uncomfortable, we got a toddler bed with his favorite character bedding and put it in the room with us. Try pushing it up right next to your bed if he's really scared and place pillows on the ground in case he rolls off. Worked great for us. He started sleeping in his own room not long after that.
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