Not sure what to do next..

Babiphatt86Babiphatt86
edited February 2011 in September 2011
I met my current husband in 2009, and we lost contact because of layoffs at our job, which at the time was Caterpillar..he found me on facebook in January of 2010, and we married in December of that same year..I conceived within 2 weeks. The problem is that he has become abusive and very manipulative but none of the anger came out until after our marriage.He drinks and hits me and has even punched me in my stomach, saying he wants me to lose it. I currently have two boys ages 4 and 6 from a previous relationship of 8 years.He has three children with three different women..Wow!! I know that's what people say and think..I thought I was doing the right thing for myself and my children and all I have done is waste my time and vice versa. My baby is due in September, and I feel bad that it will be born out of wedlock. I do not know where to turn and I do not have anyone to talk to about this..any ideas on what I could do?

Comments

  • kgentry87kgentry87
    Leave him immediately and file a restraining order. No one needs to be in an abusive relationship, especially when you're pregnant. Trust me hon you will be better off.
  • katlillykatlilly
    Get outta there! I'd rather be 'judged' for having a baby out of wedlock than be the girl with the black eye and a mc. For your baby's safety leave him. I'm sure you can find family to help you leave. If not there is always government assistance and support from the women here! I wouldn't try and tell you what to do but it seems like you know what you need to do yourself! I'm wishing you all the best! Xo
  • angie87angie87
    Omg u need to leave him. I would never let a man put their hands on me that is just plain wrong and the fact that he is tring to kill Ur baby is just ridiculous. This makes me so angry that a "man" can hit his wife who is holding his child. He is nothing but a coward. You shouldn't worry what other people think and think about them judging u its not their life its urs and u also need Ur safety for Ur self and the baby. Hope everything goes well with you and things get better. Wishing you the best
  • AR1020AR1020
    U should definitely leave him. My father started abusing my mom a week after they got married. He pushed her into a wall and caused her to have a miscarriage. He hit her everyday for 16 years. He nearly pushed her out a window and almost killed her on several occasions. Get out now before its too late. Staying with an abusive man is never good for any one. Think of how that will affect your kids. Trust me its not something that is easy to get over
  • 16andpregnant16andpregnant
    Do what's best for your children if your boys grow up in tht type of home and you accept it. They will too. Trust me save your kids. There's someone for everyone and he's not for you
  • dreamxvidreamxvi
    I agree with everyone else. You leave him right away!
  • lovebeingamomlovebeingamom
    I agree with everyone leave him! Don't let him make you think you need him in your life. My mom had a bad relationship and turned abusive! It's going to take support and strength to leave him but you have us all on here to support you ! My mom left the jerk and is now married to a wonderful guy who loves and respects her ! You can do it!
  • artistmammaartistmamma
    Absolutely, leave him! You don't deserve to be treated this way & you do not want your children growing up thinking this is okay & how relationships should be. Lean on family & friends, or call an agency like The Women's Help Center for assistance to get away from him. File a PFA and/or restraining order immediately. You are FAR better off as a single mother than wed to a man who's trying to kill your unborn baby & thinks he's got the right to abuse you. No man does!! Don't suffer another minute, & please don't think he's going to change "someday," that things will get better. They RARELY do with that type of man, & it usually only gets worse. Love yourself enough to believe you deserve better & you're strong enough to stand on your own - as far away from him as possible!! Much love and wishing you the best. Stay strong!!
  • MrsLaMasterMrsLaMaster
    If he hits u that just means he will end up hitting ur kids, I know u love him but is ur life and ur kids life worth dieing over,, when men or woman are abusive they never know when to stop, an no one knows what will happen,,, I went,threw this with my parents, they both would fist fight and it got bad,,,its not ur failt at all so dont blame urself,, just think about ur kids and ur welbing,,,,there are also places who can help u an give u and ur kids a place for fre,,,please check into it..god bless u and I hope things get better an u can get some help
  • mamaOf2mamaOf2
    I went thru the same crap but mine hit me n i finally called the cops n he went to jail n got beat up for hittin a gurl plus my bro us while knw so yea but he got.out n i wont take him bk for 2mnth n he come bk n he has not hit me n ,2yrs now...some.jus got to be put bk n2.there place
  • Babiphatt86Babiphatt86
    edited February 2011
    Thank everyone for the encouraging words..every post has brought tears to my eyes..And the love that is here is wonderful..I have gotten my divorce papers but im sooo scared to give them to him because of what his reaction would be..my boys are my world and I wouldn't know what to do if he hit them..it came out that he lost his oldest son because he hit him hard enough and left a bruise on him, child and family services got involved and they took his son away..I'm currently saving money and not telling him that I'm leaving..God has blessed me with two beautiful boys and a little one on the way..Im best at being a mommy and if it takes for me to do it alone, then so be it.. hugs to everyone
  • 2lildivaz1prince2lildivaz1prince
    Please hold ur head & remain strong!!!! The issue is not of race but DV. I'm sorry that u have been put in this place but thngs happen 4 us 2 c a bigger picture & understand our worth as individuals. As long as ur focused & truly finished, GOD will give u the POWER 2 move in the rght direction!
  • mommy2b123mommy2b123
    I agree, you need to get out but if your scared of what his reaction will be then wait untill you know you have somewhere else to go... I had a friend in an abusive marriage and she told him she was leaving him and getting a divorce and he ended her life before she could move out, they had been together for over 10yrs and had 3 children together :( i definitely recommend getting a restraining order or have police involved because you never know what an angry abusive man may do...someone that is already abusive and is a drinker could completely loose it when you say your leaving and do who knows what kind of harm to you and your sons...get out asap!..wishing the best to you and your children!
  • manda2011manda2011
    Also remember that there are safe houses for women and children. I work with one of my local DV shelters that provide everything for women when they are ready to leave. This includes literally everything, you just have to call or show up with yourself and your children. They will handle everything else, including assistance with protection orders and divorce proceedings, housing, food, personal items, everything.... And, the shelters are at an undisclosed location where he is unable to contact you or find you.
    There is always help available. It sounds like you have made the decision to leave...good for you! Keep you head up and look out for yourself and your children.
    It is your time to take control and I know you can do it! You have a great support system right here!
  • AR1020AR1020
    @Babiphatt86 when u finally decide to leave make sure u have someone with you to protect you. Whether its the cops, a brother or a close male friend. My mom and us kids left while my father was at work. Which was a good thing cuz my uncle told my mom when he got home and realized we were gone he destroyed the house out of anger. I could only imagine what my father would have done if my mom would have told him she was leaving
  • katlillykatlilly
    @babiphat86 you can have the court or the police deliver them for you and get a restraining order. Get whatever you need from the house for you and the boys and go somewhere safe while he is away or at work. Good luck girl!!! We're all here for you!! Xoxo
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